Flirting

@miamilady (4924)
United States
June 19, 2007 10:46am CST
Do you flirt? Why or Why not? How do you define flirting? I have gone through periods of time where I would say that I flirted. Most of the time I just like joke around, but some would consider that flirting. I try to be careful now though, because a few times people have gotten the wrong impression. Please, tell me what you think about the subject and tell me about your experiences.
14 people like this
39 responses
• United States
19 Jun 07
I don't think I flirt although I use too. A lot. Shamefully. Lol. I'm in a relationship now so I don't care to flirt. My boyfriend flirts though. Well, he's really friendly with everyone, not just women. So maybe he doesn't flirt. Maybe he's just friendly. Anyway, just so you know, I was voted Biggest Flirt in High School. haha. Before that, I had no idea I flirted! I thought I was just a friendly person! I realized then that most people take it the wrong way and so I changed. I only flirted with those who I was attracted to. And that's the way it remains until this day.
4 people like this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Yeah, I have a hard time figuring out where the line is between being friendly and flirting. I am a friendly person too. I try to me more careful now though.
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7881)
19 Jun 07
Do you flirt? Well I have been accused of it a time or two, but from what I know, no I don't. Why or Why not? I am a pretty straightforward woman, if I wanted to date a guy or was any way interested I just say it. No beating around the bush with me, just put out there what I thought. How do you define flirting? It's a person's attempt at attracting the attention of someone they admire without being too direct so they have a "no you misudnerstood" card to play if they are denied.
3 people like this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Yes, you are direct! And you have an interesting perspective on this as well. I also like the way you set up your response and how you made sure to answer the key questions.
2 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
19 Jun 07
I guess I probably flirt, although I don't know what the rules are anymore. I don't want to give the wrong impression or be misleading. I don't think I purposely do it with the intention of flirting. It might be nice to do it and have something good come from it. But nothing ever happens so I don't know if I am flirting or not or doing it successfully. How does one know?
3 people like this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
19 Jun 07
lol I'm trying to figure it out too. It's not working for you?? My problem has been the opposite. It has worked even when I wasn't intending for it to "work". I don't know what the "rules" are either. If you are wanting it to "work" the only advice I can think of is just to be genuine and have fun and don't worry about it working or not. Just let things fall into place. Not that you were asking for advice. That just popped into my mind.
3 people like this
@youless (89093)
• Guangzhou, China
19 Jun 07
No. I don't like this kind of behavior. As I always want to have a serious relationship and flirting makes it easy.
2 people like this
@hollowheart (1572)
• India
21 Jun 07
hi friend. Hope you remember me. Well flirting. I will tell you differend=ce in flirting and friendship. Flirting is more of lust, its fake liking because u just play with the other pretending to be so true just for fun or attension. In friendship its a true feeling, a liking you have towards the other. U feel for the other and want to be a part of his / her life. Love is even a higher form of liking where the only thought is the love and not even your friends. You oly want to give not take. well thats all i understood.
• United States
21 Jun 07
I would say I flirt because I have been told that, but I only define flirting as when someone can talk with another person about subjects like dating and relationships in a joking manner. But if I used that definition, then I would say i don't flirt.
1 person likes this
@saralee1 (1983)
• United States
20 Jun 07
I flirt with my husband still. I try not to lead strangers on though, just because it is kind of cruel sometimes to single guys who think there might be something more than just harmless flirting. I think that it certainly takes the right character to handle harmless flirting, so that you don't leave a poor young buck with a broken heart. Then, they get mad at you, and things just turn sour. (LOL) and "no, I don't plan on ever leaving the person I am married to, so please don't ask me if I would consider it." It is just a pain!
1 person likes this
@nica269 (1399)
• United States
20 Jun 07
My dh says I flirt, but i don't do it on purpose. I guess sometimes it's a 'natural' instinct. But when I do 'catch' myself flirting, i stop. I don't want to give anyone, especially my dh the wrong impression.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
20 Jun 07
A lot of times men assume that I am flirting, until they get to know me. I like to be jovial and men mistake it, until they realize that I am like that most of the time and toward everyone that it is nothing personal.
20 Jun 07
i like but not to harted
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jun 07
I flirt, have since high school and probably will for along time. When I get older I'm sure I'll get bored with it. I am only 24 so I don't think there is anything wrong with flirting. It makes me happy to be super nice to people, or get a glance from a good looking guy. I think if every guy would say one nice comment or flirty phrase everyday. There would be alot happier, more emotionally balanced woman. Those nervous or shy guys, are the best. If they could speak up, I think it would do the world alot of good to hear what they have to say. Maybe even take notes. I do have a strict line between flirting and cheating. I am married and stay completely faithful to my husband. He know and understands why I am a flirty person, and he knows who I come home to.
1 person likes this
@sakana (260)
• Singapore
19 Jun 07
Same here! When I joke around people or make comments, even the weirdest or meanest of comments, people think I'm flirting :/ I don't mean to flirt because I'm not really interested in starting a relationship or anything.
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Yeah, it's funny. Even the mean smart alec comments are sometimes percieved as flirting. That's happened to me too. Sometimes a guy will say something and I'll have a harsh comeback and it's not necessarily complimentary and they seem to even enjoy that. I've come to the conclusion, that if you don't act like a complete ice queen and completeley ignore them, some of them will see anything as flirting.
@sakana (260)
• Singapore
20 Jun 07
Totally agree. And the really dense ones will think you're just acting hard to get as step 2 of flirting or something -_-
@shemah (841)
• Malaysia
19 Jun 07
Sometimes, i don't know that I flirt. Because to me, I don't know how to flirt. i don't know how to bat my eyelashes, flick my hair and gaze at people. i can't even wink! Even grandpa bob can wink! But my ex told me that I was a first class flirt because I smile at people too much. Does that make me a flirt? Well, if that is called flirting, then yeah.. I'm guilty as charged. But i do it without the intention to flirt. My sister told me I flirt unconsciously, whatever that means. *shrugs*
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
19 Jun 07
lol I'm beginning to enjoy this discussion, more than I expected. I don't think smiling is necessarily flirting. I think it's just being friendly and nice but some people seem to think even that is flirting. I think it's funny that you think of flirting as batting your eyelashes and flipping your hair. I think there is a lot of different ways to flirt. I don't think batting eyelashes and flipping hair are required.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jun 07
I don't think smiling is flirting.
@twils2 (1821)
• United States
20 Jun 07
I joke around and tease a bit, I guess you could call it flirting. I start to back off if the girls in question take it to seriusly. After all, I am a married man and I dont want to give anybody the wrong impression. Take care, Terry
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
20 Jun 07
It's good that you try to be aware of the other persons perception and back of when it seems the person is getting the wrong impression. I think a lot of people forget to do that.
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
20 Jun 07
It is said that jokes are half meant. That's probably why people misinterpret your joking around as flirting.
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
20 Jun 07
Good point. I've hear that expression. I always applied it to sarcastic jokes. It never occured to me to apply it to joking/flirting.
1 person likes this
@FSCAries (881)
• United States
20 Jun 07
I tend to be a flirt, in the right situations. I don't flirt when in professional situations or anything, but if I am out trying to have a good time, I tend to flirst a bit. Flirting makes you feel good and it makes others feel good too. There's nothing wrong with a little light hearted fun, as long as you don't take it too far.
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
20 Jun 07
Sometimes it makes others feel good. As you said, as long as you don't take it too far. People just need to really pay attention to the reaction they are getting and not assume that the other party is cool with it. Thanks for your response. I agree it can be fun as long as the partys involved are on the same page.
1 person likes this
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
20 Jun 07
I do flirt, but i flirt in a friendly way...I wouldn't do it in such a way that it could bother my love..nor i want to take it further than just a friendly conversation. I think that the meaning of flirt online is a bit different to real life anyway...many flirty comments said here would never be said in person...it would sound way more forward, and could even make someone uncomfortable. I just try to be nice, and sometimes make some teasing or flirty comments, but nothing too bad, always harmless..i already got someone in my heart :)
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
20 Jun 07
I agree that sometimes people take things further online than they would in real life. I'm glad for you that you have someone in your heart :-)
1 person likes this
• India
19 Jun 07
...that curtis stone is so flirting with all the girls on that show .....naturally u want to be noticed by your steering looks
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Curtis Stone? What show? Apparently it's not a show that I watch.
@gradyslady (4055)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Sometimes we do it without even knowing it. They say women flirt when they touch their face or their hair when they're around men. I don't know if I really believe that though.
@mejluvya (213)
• United States
3 Jul 07
I'm not much of a flirter. But I do think it sucks for women because if you try to be friendly, people call you a flirt. Then if you try to keep to yourself, you are considered stuck up.