what would you do?
June 25, 2007 1:32am CST
My aunt asked me if my cousin could move in with me because she was doing drugs and was in an abusive relationship. i agreed. I helped her get a part time job and enrolled her as a full time student. By doing so well in 6 months my aunt buys her a brand new car and I told her she doens't deserve it yet. Let her work for it but my aunt gets suckered by my cousin to buying her the car. Less than a week she got her car she already hit it on a light pole at work and now she comes home 2 am on school nights, doesn't come home at all on the weekends and does nothing what I tell her to do around the house. I try to decipline her but she calls her mom and her mom backs her up. I am to the point that I am ready to kick her out of my house but I can't do it because we don't have any other family here and I don't want her to be on the streets but I want her to learn responsibilities at home with her family first. Help! What should I do?
• United States
19 Sep 07
i went through this with my brother... and i kicked him out! trust me they can learn on their own. some times it takes tough love. she will be mad for a little while and then she will thank you later. my brother comes to see me now and helps out around my house now. he never did that before because he didn't respect me. i kicked my brother out and we had NO family here where i live. he found a way and so can your cousin. As for your aunt...she pawned her own daughter off on you and you should never have let that happen. that is her daughter and she should be dealing with her not making you be MOMMY for her. Your aunt just didn't want to take care of the situation and found a way to run from it. she needs to step up and be a mom not pawn her children off on someone else. i hope that you have been able to get through this since i see that you wrote this 3 months ago. you are in my prayers witmuch
9 Jul 07
You've done your part. I think, it will be better, for her if you speak to her alone, in the right time, explain to her the cause and effect of her doings, give her examples, show her right path, encourage her to seek God, start with John 3:16. Teach her the Bible, then, ask to her to go church with you, put her mind into church activities, like choirs, Bible studies, sharings. Then, if you can, invite her friends too, invite her mom. And be frank to her, tell her that in the end, it is always blood thicker than water. Nobody can help her but her own blood, her own relatives, no one will love her more than you can give, let her realize her mistakes, but making examples and showing the effects she might have. thanks
28 Jun 07
I completely agree with maddysmommy. I think your cousin turned out this way because of your aunt's lack of control and irresponsibility. You should definitely have a serious talk with your aunt and reason out why you feel your cousin should learn to be responsible. If your aunt refuses to see reason and if you really can't take it anymore, there's really nothing you can do anymore except take things into your own hands and take away the keys so your cousin HAS to keep to a curfew, and if her mom calls you to stop that you could just say it's your house, and that her daughter should know the rules since you're doing her a favour by taking her in. Just my two cents, don't know if this sounds too totalitarian :/
• United States
25 Jun 07
I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I think that is so unfair of your Aunty to ask this of you. WHY is she not taking care of her OWN daughter?!? I can understand if she was having trouble with her at her home and thought by sending her to another relative it might help (like what you have done for her already, which I must say that I think you are doing a great job). If she is under your care, meaning full responsibility, then you should be able to lay down the rules as you see fit, and she should be abiding by them. If the mother is interfering with that, then I think maybe it's high time she took her daughter back and she can deal with all the late nights, car issues, and so forth. I know you want to help your cousin, and I admire you for that, BUT she is ultimately your Aunty's responsibility and no matter how hard you try, this is going to continue unless your cousin stops and rethinks what she is doing and starts to behave and listen to you (which from what I am reading, she is not going to do). I don't know if you feel comfortable in doing this or if it's possible, but maybe you need to get together with your Aunty and cousin, either together or even just talking with your Aunty about what's really been going on at your home and how frustrating it is when you try to discipline her and she keeps running back to mommy etc. If you are not able to come to some agreement about her behavior and discipling etc, then maybe you should tell her to take her daughter back. I hope is works out for you all in the end :) good luck,