What is too little time with a two year old?

United States
June 25, 2007 11:12pm CST
As a single mother, college student, and worker, I sometimes think that I don't give my two year old son enough of my time. He goes to daycare mon-fri from 8-5. He usually goes to bed at 8 at night, sometimes 9. On the weekends I work from 7-1 or so and that takes more time away from him. Sometimes what I do have the time, he goes to a grandparent's house instead. The daycare is great and really helpful, but is this too little time to be with my son? My mom was a stay home mom with all three of us and sometimes I wonder if that is better than being gone so often. Daycare is good child interaction, but what about mother interaction? Any thoughts?
1 person likes this
6 responses
• United States
26 Jun 07
Being a single mother is never easy. Been there done that, so I know where you're coming from. Quit feeling guilty. You're doing what you have to do for you and your child. College won't last forever, but you'll both be better for it in the end. Good luck and God bless!
• United States
26 Jun 07
Thank you for the advice - sometimes I just wonder if I'm not giving him enough time when I'm trying to work overtime to make ends meet, though I know that jeopardizes my time with him. I also consider college as my way to make the future look better. I just needed to see if I'm doing what I should be.
• United States
27 Jun 07
I had my oldest just 8 days after my seventeenth birthday. The "donor" didn't stick around for whatever reason, so we were on our own. I doubled up and finished high school a year early. I think not going on to college is something I will always regret. I was worried about all the same things you are. End result? I ended up working way too much just to make ends meet. At least with a college education, you'll be able to find a better paying job. And something else I've realized is that kids don't remember a whole lot from when they're two. Hang in there.
• United States
27 Jun 07
I guess my only thing is that the time is going so fast and I just hope I don't regret not giving him enough attention. I know he is only two and won't remember it, but I thought that other people's opinions would be interesting on this topic.
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
My mom was a working mom too because our family needed the income but I believe she raised us very well and all of us are close to her even as adults. I am a firm believer of quality time. Sometimes out of financial need, parents need to work to provide for their children. But I think it is possible to make good on the little time that they do spend with their children. If you are really concerned about the amount of time with your child, you can assess your spending. How much do you really need? How can you save? Maybe, if you are able to find ways to save you won't need to take on weekend work for example. I hope this helped.
• United States
27 Jun 07
Well, when I go back to school, I have to work weekends if I want hours at all. I need to work the hours I do to save a little during the summer in order to have extra for the school year. When I do have a day off, I take advantage of it. I really do try to give a few minutes to him whenever I can.
• Philippines
27 Jun 07
I read your reply on the other post and you're right that a little is better than nothing. I guess since you really need the income all you can do for now is to make the most of what you have. And since you avail of your days off, you get a little more time with him. At least by the time you finish studying, hopefully you'll get to spend a little more time with your child.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
27 Jun 07
I really don't know anything about being a single Mum but i think as long as you can give your son maybe an hour of just 'together' time then i think that should do it. If you can do more, that would be FAB but as long as he knows he's loved by him Mum then that's all that matters. I think it's good that he sees his Grandparents. At least he'll have more family interaction rather than just the childcare all the time. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job with him & if you can give him a little extra time after work on the weekends (if you finish at 1) then i think he'll be just fine & as he gets older, he'll understand why you weren't ALWAYS there & i'm sure he'll treasure the moments you do have together!
• United States
28 Jun 07
He has gotten used to the time I can give him and he seems okay with it. I spend the time that I can with him at night. He has plenty of extended family interaction, which he loves as well. He's a pretty happy boy.
• United States
26 Jun 07
I feel the same way sara. it's hard especially when we only make minimum wage, well a little higher than that, but still. with bills we pretty much have to work as much as we can, which is hard with a little one. but i think you spend enough time with him.if you wanted to spend more, than i would try to find some way to.
• United States
26 Jun 07
I was just wondering what other people really thought. I spend plenty of time with him, I think, but some days I think twice about it. But the bills are paid and sometimes there is a little extra money so I'm feeling alright.
• United States
26 Jun 07
I have several small children running around my house. I make time every day to give them each 45 minutes to an hour of "mommy and me" time and I make sure that we play for about a half hour togther. It's hard, but I would try and make the most of the time you have available with your son. Obviously, we'd all like to be stay at home parents but sometimes that doesn't work out. You have to do what you can with your resources. good luck
• United States
27 Jun 07
I try to make time each day, even if it is just reading a book. I don't know if I could do the stay at home life personally because when he was first born I had to and got bored with life because I'm so used to working and school. I guess a few mintues everyday is certainly better than nothing.
• United States
26 Jun 07
My son will be 3 next month and I've only worked 6 months out of his life. When I did work, I wasn't able to spend much time with him during the week and I didn't like that at all. I hated leaving him at daycare all day. My 2 1/2 years staying home with him have been the best because I get to spend all of my time with him. Maybe you should consider taking online classes or trying to find a work-at-home job in order to spend more time with your son.
• United States
27 Jun 07
I was hesitant about daycare at first but he really likes it and they are really helpful with things, like potty training, playing with other children, and disipline. I think my little guy would be upset if he stopped going to daycare not that he has been goinh for a year. I had taken one online class at one time but it was much more time consuming and difficult. If I'm home with my son, he wouldn't allow me to do homework or online classes. And with the education program, which I'm starting, you have to do hands on stuff. I really appreciate your opinion though.