June 26, 2007 3:54am CST
To fight feelings of loneliness, try the following steps: -Focus on your assets. Ask yourself, "what are my strengths?" Think of some talents or positive qualities you possess, and list them. When you feel left out, remind yourself of your strengths. True, you have weaknesses and you should work on these. still, try not to become overwhelmed by your faults. instead, view yourself as a work in progress. everything may not be in place, but some things are. focus on these. -widen out. Take the initiative ti meet people. granted, this may be challenging. "Groups can appear to be very intimidating," says 19-year-old Liz, "but if you just go up to one person and say hi, you're suddenly part of the group." Speaking of being left out, make sure you're not leaving anyone out--such as older ones. "when i was 10 or 11," recalls a teenage named Cori, "i had a friend who was much older. we were really close, despite the age difference." -Confide in an adult. Sharing your concerns with your parents or another adult can help reduce your feelings of loneliness. that's what one 16-year-old girl found out. at first, she worried too much about beeing left out. "i would think about what happened that made me feel left out," she says, "replied it in my mind. but then i would talk to my mom about it, and she would give me advice on how to deal with the situation. talking it out really helps!" -Think of others.We should be "keeping an eye, nopt in personal interest upon just own matters, but also in persobal interest upon those of the others. true, when you feel left out, it's easy to feel depressed or sad. however, instead of sinking further into despair, why not do something for someone in need? you may even be able yo forge new friendship that way! When you think of people other than yourself and do things for them, you have less time to feel lonely. this can make you more positive in your outlook and demeanor, makeing you more attractive as a potential friend. -be selective. its better to have a few true friends who care about you than many so-called friends who may get you into trouble. -be positive. everyone feels left out now and then--at least to a degree. what can help? instead of dwelling on negative things, strive to adopt a positive view of life. remember, while you may not be able to control every aspect of your situation in life, you can control how you react to things. when you feel left out, take positive steps either to change the situation or at least to change your view of it.