What would you say to your mom if she planned out your summer? (as an adult)

United States
June 30, 2007 2:46pm CST
Now I am not saying that this is happening to me at all cause my mom is great. But so far I am seeing this happen to my friend and I am wonderin what other people would or would've done in this situation or if this is normal. My younger sibling is 20 so I don't have to deal with this at all. I have a friend that graduated from college a bit ago, and got his first new job. It's a really great job, pays well, tons of benefits, and they'll even pay for his schooling if he wants to take more school. He got a new apartment in a new city, (a suburb of the Twin Cities) so there's tons to do. He still wanted to make frequent trips to his college town to visit old roommates and good friends. In addition, he has a lot of friends in the cities from High School he still likes to hang out with. However ever since he graduated, and the summer started he gets phone calls from his mother or his brother that go, "By the way, after we pick up (or drop off) your furniture, your brother is staying with you." His brother is like between the age of 10 - 12 I can't remember. He has had to decline hanging out with friends to stay home with his brother. And his brother ended up staying for not 4 days, but two weeks. The two weeks were in which his LAST two weeks before he moved outta town, meaning he had no chance to spend his last week with his friends at all...he just stayed home or brought his little brother everywhere with him. All of the friends were annoyed cause he's lippy and couldn't really hang out like we usually do cause of it. 2 weeks later, he drops off his brother back at his parents house and then only a week after being at his new place his Mom goes, "Oh by the way I'm dropping off your brother for another week." I heard they were getting him a new couch, which imo is going to be in their defense why he needs to watch his brother for the rest of the summer. Now the kid is old enough to take care of himself now, I actually think he's almost 13. And his family is not going on vacation or anywhere where they need someone to watch him... they simply are just dropping him off and leaving him there for weeks at a time without even asking! Now how would you feel if you were in this situation? I would think a 23 year old young man would want to have a social life and go out with their friends once in a while. I mean, nothing wrong with family and taking care of eachother. I have 5 siblings, all in which are married with children in which I have to baby sit sometimes. This is all fine and dandy, but weeks or even months at a time dropping off a kid to a young man just starting his new life I think is ridiculous. That's just my opinion. I guess what bothers me about the whole situation is not that he's staying for weeks at a time, but because my other friends told me, "He doesnt want his brother to come" and he's just being a doormat and letting his family decide whatever they want and he just goes with it. Now I hear they're buying him a couch today, which makes me think they're gonna use it against him and say "well we bought you a couch so you should watch him." Shed a little light on this, parents, young adults, ect. Maybe I'm just not understanding, or maybe this is ridiculous. =P If it was me, I would tell my family "yes, they can come over..." If they ASK me first, not just "btw i'm coming." And also make arrangements to pick him up. Last time they said, "We will pick him up in approximiately 4 days." And it ended up they decided not to pick him up at all and said, "Just bring him home whenever you can" So he had to make a 5 hour round trip to bring him home 2 weeks later and spend money on feeding him. I dunno, I may sound selfish but I think if it's not your kid you shouldn't HAVE to watch them unless the family really needs your help. In my opinion they just wanna go out and have fun and make their oldest son do all the work for the summer. Sorry some ppl may attack me for this, but I would at least want to be asked if it's okay first instead of just having the kid dropped off every week for weeks at a time. Maybe he really wants to be with his brother, which is cool and all, and it's nice to have extended visits. But just getting randomly dropped off without being asked for weeks and weeks at a time, I think is kinda rude.
2 people like this
2 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
1 Jul 07
Ok, i think the parents are being a little selfish - cant they dump their youngest son off with another relative, especially since the college guy kinds needs to have a life, get ready for work or schooling & such. Honestly, if that was me, i'd be inclined not to accept the couch :) If i don't take the couch, then they cant use it against me can they? It'd be ok if it was once in a blue moon & for less than a week but 2 or more weeks at a time is too much. I'm 25 & my sister is 20, i can only handle her being here for a few days at a time, we get under each other's skin & end up fighting. I don't think i'd want someone 10 - 13 years old here for a long time either, too much to worry about & i wouldn't be able to do anything like i usually would. He needs to grow a back-bone & stand up for himself, tell them he's not gonna accept their gifts if it means he is forced to take care of his younger sibling for weeks at a time, just coz they don't want him at home.
• United States
1 Jul 07
My thoughts exactly. A guy at that age should be able to go out with friends, head out to the bars, go on a day trip to see friends, stay late at work, have a girlfriend over (he has an efficiency so there's NOOOOO privacy), or just have alone time. None of that is possible and sometimes i wonder if they don't want their son to have a social life. I don't think it's good for the kid either, cause for all you know he may feel like he's being tossed around.
• United States
1 Jul 07
I personally wouldn't put up with it. As an adult I would simply thank them for being so concerned and tell them that we have our own plans, etc.
1 person likes this