Incredibly Lonely on the Holidays....
July 4, 2007 3:33pm CST
Well it's the 4th of July. I did think that I was spending it with my boyfriend who is 3 hours away from me, but then his little brother showed up for the week and he has an efficiency so there really wasn't room for me. My friends moved into new apartments three days ago, and I have no idea where they live and now they do not have their land phone or internet anymore so I can't contact them. I don't know where they live yet, and though I know where they work that doesn't mean I know their schedule or think it's right for me to show up. My family doesn't live in town with me. Basically it's the 4th of July and I have absolutely no one to share it with. I could keep myself busy, but I'm almost a little too depressed to do anything right now. The reason why I didn't just go down to my boyfriend's despite not having enough room at his place is because he told me he's coming 3 days from now to town to visit everyone and stay with me, then I was coming back with him Sunday to spend the summer before college started. If I stayed with him not only would I be with him, but also just minutes away from my brothers and sister's. So I feel like the lonliness is temporary. At the same time I am never sure about it. He has told me many times that I am coming with him on Sunday and we're going to a theme park for my birthday and inviting tons of people. But I somehow don't believe him. (That's a different story in itself) I just finished my 1st class in summer school yesterday so the rest of my summer school is completely online, which means I'm not going to classes and interacting with people today or tomorrow, or Friday. I am going to get a summer job, but until I know what city I am for certain going to be in in the coming days, I don't have a job either. I am no bum, I am ready to graduate this December and I alway work in the summer, but right now I'm not sure where I will even be soon. The only time I will feel confident in that is when I'm actually there and it's settled. So as of right now it's the 4th and I feel so incredibly lonely and sorry for myself, which is probably pathetic. I dont like to be, but I don't know what else to do... I hope the lonliness is only temporary. What do others do when they are very lonely and feeling like there is no one in the world (at that time) to be with.