Choosing the child

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The process of deciding which child to adopt is referred to as 'choosing' This does not imply that the couple choose one child and reject the others. In fact, lliterature in the West now speaks against this way of going about adoptin; it is beleived to place a tremendous pressure on the child, almost as though since she is 'chosen' she must live up to the expectations of the adoptive parents. As applied to the process of adoption, choosing is the choice that a couple makes to adopt a child as an alternative means of parenthood. This is what the title of this book refers to - Ours by choice. A traditional practice in adoption was for the couple to visit an orphange an select the child they found most appealing. Today, we are moving away from this, and we are explaining to couples that it can be emotinally traumatic for them to see a large group of children and choose a single child from among them.