You just found out your spouse has a lover. What is your reaction?
7 Jul 07
First, I would maintain cool. Act as if nothing has happened. Then, I would do my personal investigation and try to get as much proof as possible. Once that is done, I would confront him. There's a possibility that he is going to deny about this liason. Well, I would show him all my trump cards and see if he's ready to admit it. Then if he still denies it, I would part with him and serve him a lawyer's letter!! That's me.....
7 Jul 07
Hi thanks for the friends request...I accept. I love your slogan...so true...a big simple abundance gift...every day. With new friends I like to check out their site and comment. This is an intersting topic. If I found out my spouse had a lover the first thing I would want to do is sit down together and talk! I would need to know what he thought was missing in our relationship or what went wrong with 'us.' After having what I hope would be some respectful dialogue I would listen and try to decide if there was any hope of salvaging what we once had. If he was no longer in love with me or did not have any desire to 'fix' whatever was broken in our marriage through counselling and accountablity I would begin the process of letting go. I would find my own counsellor, talk to friends, vent out my feelings and do my best to handle rather than repress whatever I was feeling. Finally I would let him go...because I have enough self-respect and dignity not to plead or beg any man to stay with me who doesn't want to be there. I'd rather cut the ties, heal and maybe look for love again once I knew it wouldn't be re-bound affair.
7 Jul 07
Thanks a lot for your thorough reply here, it shows such a difference on how a quality post can stand out from all others. I agree to your views, that love shouldn't be pleaded or begged. We have enough self-respect and dignity and should always preserve it no matter what. And thanks too for accepting me as a friend. Am looking forward to more correspondence with you soon. "Carpe Diem" "Seize the Day"
8 Jul 07
Thank you for the genuineness of your acknowlegment...I appreciate it. I am glad we agree on the dignity aspect... it is important. Maintaining safe boundaries and striving to create a healthy partnership is so important. I volunteer at a shelter for women and children who are caught in the trap of domestic violence. Sometimes they take their husbands back when they have been abused on all kinds of levels...including adultery and end up in some bad situations. I appreciate your comments and look forward to chatting again.
7 Jul 07
If one of the couple has got another lover that means he/she has no trust on first one. He/she is living with him/her just for time pass. In such case it is better to leave at once and look for someone else. To drag such relation is not suggestive as there is no love. Mutual understanding is must in any relation. Any indifferences can be shorted out with discussions. Both must be open minded otherwise involvement of other guy is inevitable.
• United States
7 Jul 07
I am not married but if i was and caught found out my husband had a lover i would be very upset because my heart would be crushed.Of course i would start crying and probably argue and ask him a whole bunch of questions.I think i would play detective.Have his lover meet me for lunch and have him show up at the same time.Set his butt right on up!!SO i can see his stupid look.I would pack my stuff and go!!If he do it once he will do it twice.