Will you leave or not?

Philippines
July 14, 2007 11:00am CST
Infidelity between couples are happening everywhere these days.Wether you're a man or a woman no one is spared of temptation but it is at the man's weakest time that temptation occurs. I would just like to get some reactions from all of you, giving these situation...If your partner had a child before and after your marriage, would you still accept him/her and forgive him/her, including the child that came out from such illicit relationship... Hmnn, let me see how far people love here in my lot...
1 person likes this
13 responses
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
15 Jul 07
You know, I don't really know how I would feel if this really happened to me. I would hope we could work it out but that would depend entirely on how this came about and what happened to "us". If there was a child involved, then I hope to think i would want to be part of his/her life if he/she wanted to be part of mine.
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
It 3would be great if your man would be truthful to you from the very beginning. I believed it would work out that way. Hard part is maddysmommy, what if the other woman wouldn't want your man to end the relationship or share regardeing the lovechild of their relationship... So COMPLICATED...with the web of wickedness!!!
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Ugh very complicated! If that was part of the equation then who knows what I would. If he's got himself so deep into this affair, then it's obvious he doesn't love or want me anymore, so I would probably have to let his @$$ go. I would be better off in the long run, but who's to say I would do this. I really don't know!
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
God forbids that to happen...and for everyone, I guess we just cross the bridge!
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
It's true that infidelity is rampant nowadays. I decided to separate from my husband because he was cheating me. If ever my husband has a child before we got married, I can accept him and even treat his child as mine. But if he has a child with another woman while we are still married, I don't think I can forgive him for being unfaithful during the marriage. There's nothing I can do to change the situation but to accept the fact that he has a child out of his illicit love affair.
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
Hi single_mom...May God give you the hope and courage each day to live your life purposely! Truly, a wounded heart can never be able to give out love...As the wounds are raw so is bitterness arise. Acceptance will be a road to recovery...Be strong always,somebody as TRUE as your heart is for You waiting along the way!
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
Thanks a lot for your wise words. Everyone has the right not to suffer from any form of pain. My marriage may have been ended by infidelity of my partner. I just chose not to be hurt forever. Don't worry, I have accepted things now with courage and understanding.
@34momma (13895)
• United States
15 Jul 07
my man and i both had children before we got together. and now we have a wonderful little girl that we both love very much. if he had a child out side of our relationship we would be done and over in a New York minute. and i know if i got pregnant by someone else then he would leave me. i don't think that going outside of your relationship when you are having problems solves them. if you want to be with someone else then i think you should leave the relationship
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
I love your convictions and truthfulness...With the way you look at marriage and relationship, that is the real LOVE, TRUST and commitment that are all essential to a wonderful and happy marriage! I admire your response and honesty...Keep your relationship and marriage alive with your vows and commitment. SALUTE!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13895)
• United States
15 Jul 07
thank you. i just feel that if you can't be honest with yourself and what you want, then you will never be able to share that in a relationship. the old saying is so true, treat people they way you want them to treat you. and if they don't treat you the way you like, then teach them
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
If I find love on that person, I'd gladly accept every single thing that she have in life. I believe that's one important thing to consider in keeping relationships smooth-sailing, I know it's not easy, but if both do help one another nothing is impossible. I think maturity, respect and trust for another is what both parties' need. For me, being forgiving is being humble..
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
You are in its real essence of loving a TRUSTING and FORGIVING person...But the fact that such relationship built on LOVE and TRUST had once TARNISHED with infidelity and deception, add on the illigitimate CHILD...What if he/she will do it again twice...thrice...and on and on..WOULD you keep on forgiving??? That must have been tough!
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
As what all other individuals have, I also have my own limitations on everything.
@mrsjbelle (1641)
• United States
26 Dec 07
No way I would be gone. If you love me dont cheat on me. That is a big time deal breaker for me.
• Philippines
26 Dec 07
Even you love the person so much...No space for a second chance?
@lbinkley (1078)
• United States
24 Dec 07
If he had a child from a previous relationship I wouldn't think twice about taking that child in as well. That is perfectly acceptable. If he had a child with someone else while we were together, I don't think I could forgive that, because I would always be thinking in the back of my mind that he would do it again. However I would NEVER take it out on the child, because it is never a childs fault. They don't ask to be brought into this world... so why would you hold it against the child?
• Philippines
25 Dec 07
A child innocence wouldn't be blamed for mistakes done...that is true!
@mcjustin (82)
• United States
18 Dec 07
You pose an interesting question, though you place infidelity squarely on the mans shoulders. Remember, women commit infidelity during their weakest moments too. Either way, I would find it extemely difficult accept my partner back. Yeah, that sounds cold-hearted but I can't honestly say that I could foregive and FOREGET. Are you really foregiving the act if you can't foreget it?
• Philippines
18 Dec 07
Tough love huh!But, Love cover all wrongs. You're most welcome to respond to my other discussion,"When you forgive, do you really forget?"
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
2 Dec 07
Actually, if the child is before the marriage, I wont mind because it means that it happen just before we got married. But if the case is after marriage, I would really have to talk to him. If he would promise that he would not do it again... I may forgive him. But if he keeps on repeating it then it's a different thing. I believe that it is also important that we respect ourselves even if we are loving someone.
• Philippines
15 Dec 07
For sure lucky witch.Tough call of LOVE indeed!
• China
28 Jul 07
loving her is not leaving her~~~ so love her and be together with her together make happiness...make a great tommorow
• Philippines
2 Dec 07
hmnn zhengdafeng...you had TRULY LOVED a person...goodluck!!!
• Kottayam, India
15 Jul 07
It actually needs a great heart, very few people are like this.
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
I agree...Cheers it is still a beautiful WORLD!
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
14 Jul 07
I don't believe in divorce as an option for a marriage. If my husband cheated on me, I would take him back. He would be miserable for QUITE SOME TIME, because he would be cut off from everything except access to the house, but i would take him back. I feel like taking them back and making them live with you when they know they have lost your trust and your respect is a bigger punishment than divorcing them.
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
mkirby 64. Must have been a very tough LOVE for YOU!That is a good way to give some lessons and he learns from mistake!
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
14 Jul 07
well, love is between forget and forgive. Nothing is more than that. If you love him and he already have a baby but you still love him just a little of this. So will you leave him? Also, it might be two different kind of situation here... if he is a player and he just goes around and get the baby then you have to go too. But if the first relationship didn't work out but he has a baby and he also a good man for you, so why dont you forget about this and accept him?Share some love with another people is a good thing. Like one of my friend, she loves this guy and they have been dating for like 3 years and she never know that he has a baby at all until the last minute. But she still accept him and be with him until now. so it is depend on the person too. make the right decision and I hope you will be happy with it.
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
God bless your friend's heart and love...That is one in a million girl.Before and after...Hmmnn, True love forgives!!!
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
14 Jul 07
Very good question.. I would have to say if I love that person and he does have children from his last relationship yes i would glad take his children under me. Not just because I want too just because I will accept the person for who he is not what happened in his past. Alot of people these days do have children from their past marriages or relationships but that doesn't change who that person really is. Love is a very powerful thing at least in my eyes it is. For a person who loves children I can't say no.
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
Wow, you're a great person...That was the answer of before the marriage occur. What about the infidelity and a child during your marriage...Would you still accept him and take the child?