the past,the future

If I went back into the past, I would not make the mistakes I made now, that is the very serous mistake and I would not listen to people who did not want me to see about a medical problem that has practically ruined my life and lessened my chances. I would have kept the child I gave up for adoption, when my boyfriend asked me not to leave him, I would have told him to ask my father for my hand in marriage. I would have saved my money instead of wasting it. I would have worked at clerking instead of listening to my foster mother saying I was not good enough for them. The file clerk and steno jobs are now gone the way of the dinosaur, but being a waitress and a sales clerk has not and many paid for their way through university did those. However if I go back in the past, would I remember what I do now or would it be a blank?

That is a really hard question to answer. See, there are things I wish I'd done differently BUT I also know that if I had done those things differently I wouldn't be where I am today...in particular I wouldn't have my 3 youngest boys. I could trade a lot of other things that make up my life now but they aren't on that list. I think I'd rather just concentrate on changing my now so I'm not looking back in ten years and wishing I could change it.