Would you ever say this to a coworker?

@nicolec (2673)
United States
July 19, 2007 1:39pm CST
We have a visiting student at my work. He's here for only two weeks doing some research. I'll try and keep my personal opinions about him out of this, but let's say I don't think he deserves his degree. Well yesterday he left a mess in the lab. First I asked if it was his. He said no. I asked other people, they all said no. Went back to him and got the 'oh wait, i did put it there'. By the time I got back to him, some one else had taken it upon her self to clean the mess. So I thanked her for doing it. I then explained to him that we don't do things like that around here. If you leave something in the sink to be cleaned, clean it. Mind you, I'm not yelling at him just explaing the way things are done around here. He then said (this is word for word) 'kiss my a$$'. I was floor. I responded, 'excuse me, what did you just say to me?' to which he replied 'kiss my a$$'. To sum up the rest of the conversation (which included more bad words from him): I said I would not be spoken to like that, not from him or from anyone. if he didn't like how things were done around here he was free to leave. And if he didn't like how I did things, he was free to talk to my boss about it. His response 'whatever' Would you ever speak to a fellow co worker like that? This guy is in his 30's, married and with a child. So it's not like I'm talking some teenager. He's a phD student. Please tell me that I am not the only one to find this absolutely unnecessary behavior. I was so angry I had to go out side to calm down before I bashed his head in. What would you have done?
3 people like this
12 responses
@kareng (7980)
• United States
19 Jul 07
I think you did the right thing. I would take it a step further and go inform my boss of his behavior. It is uncalled for in an office environment. I hope your boss will call him in and sit him down for a little talk! I work in somewhat the same kind of environment...labs and visitors. I can't believe someone would have the nerve to come in and be rude like that. Most of our visitors are really nice and polite. Good luck in resolving this!
2 people like this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
19 Jul 07
I did inform my boss. I'm not sure of the outcome, but I haven't seen much of him today. He was here a little this morning, but that's all i know. You would think as a visitor you would do as told. All I know is that in two days he will be gone and good ridence.
1 person likes this
@chabella1 (131)
• United States
19 Jul 07
hello nicolec you are totally right, all you did was tell him i mean hes co-workers are not his keeper he have to pick up after himself i believe his mother didn't teach him any manners and she did everything for him, don't worry yourself about the little things he probably has his bobo and blanky at home and he probably still wears pampers so the point is i'll have done the same thing no problem he is wrong and you are 110% doing your job, good luck nicolec.
2 people like this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
19 Jul 07
I love that! Hi bobo and blanky at home. thanks chabella, i needed that laugh. It's put a great image in my head.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
19 Jul 07
can you talk to your boss? his advisor? you should not have to put up with stuff like that, no matter who it is...i wouldnt sit there just idley by, do something!
2 people like this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
19 Jul 07
I did talk to my boss. First because I am of the opinion that when ever something like that goes down the boss must be made aware of it. But I don't know the out come of it all.
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Jul 07
He may have book smarts that will get him jis degree but he will never really learn the true nature of being human and how to treat others with the respect they deserve all i can say is hopefully other will realise his true nature adn he will be treated that way.
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
19 Jul 07
Honestly, my friend, he doesn't even have the book smarts. It amazes me that they will some day allow this boy (as I can't call him a man) to graduate with a high degree.
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Jul 07
That si scarey but liek the sayign goes not what you know but who you know wonder what he is paying for his degree.
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Jul 07
That sounds like such an odd and immature thing to say. I wouldn't say that to a coworker, or anyone else for that matter. I don't understand why people would use that expression...it just sounds crude. Would you REALLY want someone to kiss your a$$? It just sounds so immature, it must have been odd hearing it come from an adult.
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Immature, yes. Very much so. It makes it seem like he is over and above everyone else. It just frustrates me that some people can be so child like.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
20 Jul 07
that is really rude... you definitely don't deserve to be talked like that... i will be very angry if i am in your position as well... and to think that he is a PhD student... he seems to me like an uneducated person by the way he is behaving... just tell your boss and stay away from him... luckily, he is just a visiting student...
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I think that's part of what irratates me more. That he is getting his phd. I think that makes him think he is better then me because I don't have one. But additude asides, his work shows he doesn't deserve it. But I don't get to make those choices.
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
Breath in, breath out and before you know it two weeks is over. Now you can breath again, free from his foul presence. And I agree just tell his immediate supervisor about his "attitude" and let him deal with it.
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
20 Jul 07
The problem is I don't know his immediate surpervisor. He's in another city. But I did tell mine. Want to hear something funny? I had to clean up HIS mess yesterday. He wasn't here, thank fully, and there was his mess in the sink. So instead of another confrontation I just cleaned it. Came back to my desk. Looked at another co worker and said 'breathe in, breath out' She knew exactly what I was talking about.
@chabella1 (131)
• United States
20 Jul 07
hello nicolec i am glad you laugh about it but believe me is the truth when some one have that kind of attitude usually they are inmature little kids and that is what he his keep laughing nicolec.
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Yes I know what you mean. He won't make it far in the world if he explodes at people like that.
• Philippines
22 Jul 07
You are right, he doent deserve his degree nor his degree deserves someone like him. If he does, he should know what is proper and what is not. Would be doing the things he should and wont do the things he shouldnt. I cannot talk to a co worker like that. Its too unethical not unless he was so rude and I was provoked. But aside from this, no way.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jul 07
He was inappropriate, but are you his superior? If not, then it wasn't your place to instruct him in how you do things at your workplace or to tell him that he could leave. The whole situation with his attitude should have been none of your concern. You were worked up over a dirty area, which is basically nothing. If it bothered you that much, you should have gone to your supervisor and had him/her discuss his orderliness with him.
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
28 Jul 07
First of all you come into my discussion already with a chip on your shoulder and upset with me just to post something to get back at me. Not apprecaited at all. Second, the mess made had to do with a machine I am in charge of. And it is my duty and my job to be sure it is taken care of. Third, I don't care if I am his supervisor or not, I will not be spoken to like that by any one. Especially in a place of profressional work. And finally, a dirty area in my lab is a big deal. We work with chemicals that can damage you in ways you don't want to know about. So yes, it is very much my concern that he knows how things work around there.
• United States
30 Jul 07
It's "appreciated", and as I told you before, I have nothing personal against you? Why would I stress myself out like that? And why are you? Secondly, I happened to think it an interesting post, so decided to give a reply. If you'll notice, my tone was calm and impersonal. I would've said the same thing to anybody, regardless of whether or not I agree with them on other topics. And perhaps you should've given all the information in your original post. How was I to know it was your job to make sure it was clean? I don't "appreciate" your biting off my head about it.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
3 Aug 07
That was very unprofessional of him and I would have told the boss on him. It sounds as though he may have some serious authority issues and someone may need to talk with him about it. I would try to steer clear of him for awhile and I would not speak to him unless I had too. He doesn't deserve any kind of respect.
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
3 Aug 07
I agree that it is very unprofessional. I have had no dealings with him since. I did tell my boss and he is now very frustrated with him as well.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
22 Nov 07
He really should be reported for his behavior. That type of behavior might be expected from a teenage kid but certainly not someone of his age. It shows a total lack of respect for the ppl he works with. "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS" **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~