my friend is gay help please

United States
July 22, 2007 4:59pm CST
hello every one i have a little problem i have a friend that is gay but he don't want to come out of the closet i know him for quite sometime and they way we met , my sister introducing to me as a double date right of the bat i knew and even i kept insisting to my sister she kept saying no, the thing is i am concern he has no one to turn to and some of his friends read his blog now i would like to help but he keep pretending he in no way i know he is and i want him to be happy and feel comfortable with me i really care about him but i am afraid i don't know how to approach him without making him feel bad please help
2 people like this
5 responses
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
22 Jul 07
he may not have any plans to come out. i would just let him go. when he is ready to come out he will and you can be there to show him support when he does. you might make him uncomfortable if you say something and he isn't ready. or there may be this off chance that you are wrong and then he will feel bad that hes giving off that impression.
• United States
23 Jul 07
thanks very much for your response its very good i think my worries and concern comes more from the things that i am hearing about him going in blind dates, which its ok but he already got in to trouble i don't want no crazy guy hurting my friend he is very trusting and think the world is made out of sugar, he trust too many people and is not good, but your right i should giving the space and time and when he is ready he would come out.thanks again for such good answer.
• Canada
22 Jul 07
Who says your friend has to come out of the closet just because YOU think it's time? You need to stop worrying about him, stop pressuring him, and let him do things his way. It's his life, not yours, and he needs his own time. Let him do this when he's ready. He may never be ready, but that's his business.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 07
i think you are missunderstanding me i want him to come out because he looks frustate and he is going out and lying about where he is i don't want him to get hurt i know he wants to tell me but i think he doesn't know how i just care about him a lot, for instant i'll give you an example he went to soho thats in manhathan an i hear the guy he met there it was a crazy guy, got drunk and try to hurt my friend i just think if he would feel comfortable he could take one of hes close friend and then he won't be along trying to find his mr right thats all.
@judyt00 (3504)
• Canada
22 Jul 07
then don't do it. Just accept him he way he is, flaws and all. When he is ready to admit he is gay to you, he will, until then, keep quiet about it.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 07
hi judyt00 i do accept my friend for who he is but i want him to know that so he could be himself, which lately he hasn't been, he is comimg from a old fashion house and i am concern also i know him he looks misserable.
@cyntrow (8527)
• United States
27 Jul 07
coming out is very personal and can be dangerous. even in this age, people are being beaten and killed, just for whom they date. That, coupled with family difficulties... I wouldn't want to be there. The only thing you can do is be a friend. If he trusts you, he will let you know and you can be a confidant. But let him have his space and his time. Eventually he will have to come out with it, when he meets the love of his life. You may be the only straight person he can turn to. Just be a friend and let him lead the way.
• United States
27 Jul 07
First of all honey, you can not force anyone to come out. You have to stop and think about the problems that gay people face. I am a gay male and I have a lover, we have been together for just under 8 years now. Everyone in our community know and don't have a problem with it. But in some areas in our country, gay people are downed by everyone. Yes, I know it is a shame that some people are still closed minded. I like the fact that you would like to help your friend, but give it time, he will come out in his own time.