If I dont protect them who will??? A letter I wrote to a few family members.

United States
July 24, 2007 11:08am CST
STOP!! Saying you care about my kids and my family. And then treat them my precious angels like they are outsiders. If you have some kind of issues with me thats fine. But please please please dont take it out on my kids. They are innocent by standers in life at this point. They will love anyone and care for anyone. They have the biggest hearts and do not deserve to be treated like outsiders by people who do not know how to let a grudge go. They are all so young and have a lot of love to give and will pretty much give it to anyone. And they may be little but they know how to tell when someone is being fake towards them. And I get really sick of trying to explain to them why certain people treat them the way they do. So all I am asking is if you say you love my kids please show them that it is true and dont act fake towards them. People are always coming in and out of there life's and that is hard enough. So I think the people who are in there life's right now should show them how much they really do love them. I MEAN COME ON THEY ARE ONLY KIDS AFTER ALL. Did I go to far when I wrote this letter to a few of my family members? Was I wrong? All I know is that I get really tired of seeing my kids hurt by people who are supposed to love them. Please give me your opnion on this letter.
5 people like this
10 responses
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Umm I don't know enough about your situation and how family treat your children and even though i think this may be harsh, you must of at some point realised this needed to be said. I would not know how to react if my family treated my son with disrepect and pretended to love him but did otherwise. I am sorry to hear that you are going through this and it is sad that family treat your children like this, even if they do have a grudge against you. Kids often get caught up in all the adult stuff and I have just realised that it has happened to me and my cousins. With my Grandfather marrying 3 times and having 26 children, often my mother and her brothers and sisters get into arguements and fights and treat the kids in the same way. Sad but true. After countless get togethers or the dreaded family meetings we use to call it, some have been resolved but a lot of the differences stem to when they were young. Us younger generation have voiced our opinions and have asked that they keep their differences to themselves and resolve it amongst themselves instead of bringing us kids into it and NOT to treat us any different just because they have a grudge against our parents. I think only until the differences between you and your brothers/sister and family are resolved, your children may still feel the brunt of it. I hope not, but it may happen. Do what you have to do Lifez2short to protect your children, I would :)
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 07
You really think it was harsh? I have just been feed up with it and decied to do some think about it.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Fair enough :) Like I said i don't know the background of how this came about so sorry if I went overboard.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 07
No need to be sorry.
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
25 Jul 07
You did right. We as mothers have to protect our kids from bad things. For that we can do anything. Children make mothers very strong that we are ready to do anything just for our kids. You did well. They deserver this. Do not allow anyone to hurt your kids. Just take care of them and yourself.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 07
Thank you I feel better now.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 07
You are only doing what is right. Your own family and your children come first before anything. Your family should know better than to disrespect you and your children. I am glad that you have the guts to tell them off. I am having issues with my own family right now, and I know what you are going through. My cousin turned on me by letting my sick grandmother go to Montana, and I do not know if she will come back alive or much worse than she was before. My family and I are very divided right now because of my grandmother and her health, and it is maddness because she is our grandmother of crying out loud. I do not understand people sometimes.
• United States
25 Jul 07
It sucks when familys cant get along.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 07
I completely understand your situation. I went to bbq my husbands uncle was throwing and everyone treated our son ( then only 14 months old) like he wasn't even there or like he was less important then the other children. I understood if they treated me like that but my son isn't just family or just my husbands its all of their family. One of my husbands cousins, who is in the late 20's even ran into him on purpose when he was trying to play with the other kids, she knocked him over and acted like he wasn't even there. I was so furious that I walk out with my son and sat in the car until my husband relized that I left, I told what had happened and how everyone was treating us and he went back in the house and said something to some one(I don't know what was said or to whom it was said to but we got an apoligy from a couple of people) and then we left. I was shocked at how we were treated, I had only met a couple of his family members before but never treated like that and I would never let my family treat my son or husband any any rude way.
• United States
25 Jul 07
Im glad you got your aplogie.
1 person likes this
@cefaz_21 (2597)
• Philippines
25 Jul 07
I think you just wrote not only wht is on your mind but what is inside your heart and letting it out is good,since the one who'll read this are family members I hope they will really get your point. It pained me to see unloved kids specially ny family members, each child deserved to be loved and cared for.
• United States
25 Jul 07
Thank you.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
25 Jul 07
I don't understand the situation, why did you send this letter? how do they treat your kids that way? why do they treat your kids that way? For all I can say, it is okay to send that letter, a mother got to do anything to protect her children.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 07
Just down right mean to them.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
24 Jul 07
you are the only one who know what you feel and what happened. I can only say that this letter sounds like your heart's cry. I think you just have to be sure of who you will send this letter to. there must be someone in your family that is not acting like that, so you don't want to offend him or her.
• United States
24 Jul 07
I sent it to the right people no worries.
2 people like this
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
24 Jul 07
It’s too bad that you have to write a letter like that to Family of all people- What is wrong with people these days? I think the letter is fine if you are having a hard time with certain family members being bad to your kids- Kids have feelings also- and can often pick up on negativity or things that are wrong before us adults can- kids are innocent- I hope your kids aren’t around these family members often- that is our job as parents- keep our kids safe- and if staying away from these family members- then I say do it- for their sake.
• United States
24 Jul 07
They are not around them often but when they are they treat them as outsiders.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 07
NO you did not go to far but I do not think your letter will do any good. I think some people just do not know how to live and give of themselves. They say they do but they don't. My mom is one, she never askes about her grandchildren, she has three grandsons and one granddaughter. She has three daughters she never askes about my sisters either. I went up to see my twin sister. When mom found out I was going she said "You are staying in her rat infested home." I told mom "NO my twin's home is beautiful and does not have rats." Now how would mom know what type of home my sister lives in, she has never been there or even cared to write or call her. So when I went mom wanted me to take pictures of my twins home so mom could see it. I did not, because I felt if mom really cared she would have played an active role in my twin's life way before this now. When I got back mom wanted to see pictures I told her I did not take pictures. Mom said "Well I will never ever see where she lives now and it is all your fault." Ya right I was the one who did not have anything to do with my twin the last 20 30 years, I was the one who told her everyday of her life that she was not wanted. NO it was mom and now it is my fault mom will never see pictures of my twin's home. Give me a break. I feel some of your family members will never change and your kids will have to learn what fakes they are.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 07
You are probably right they wont change.
@liyan97 (2128)
• Northern Mariana Islands
25 Jul 07
Hello there Lifez2short! No you were not wrong, I have never written a letter to my family but I have become so angry that I told my mom to go to hell after calling my disabled son a “retard”! I wish that I could write a letter, I think it would make matters easier to solve without the usual angry vocalization. I have no regrets! I can tolerate mostly anything but when it comes down to my kids I will not put up with any kind of unwarranted treatment. Although I don’t know the full story, I will say that your anger is probably justified. I will admit that there are some family members that I dislike, but then when we are together and our kids are around, I set what ever issues I have and treat their kids as I would want my kids to be treated. They are just kids and should not have to suffer for the mistakes of us parents. I hope that you do give them the letter, and hope that they will open their eyes and realize that they are just kids and no matter what issues may lie between you all, when your kids are present, it is no longer about you issues, rather it is all about the kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 07
Thank you.
1 person likes this