Is there really a big difference? Or do you consider these things the same?

Yes, to me there's a difference. When you're in love with someone, it means you feel "butterflies" and usually expect them to make you happy, and you make them happy too. There's more to it, but it's basically superficial. As long as it feels good--emotionally and physically--you like it. But loving someone means choosing to love them, no matter what they say or do. And frankly, it's a lot harder. It takes work to truly love someone. Loving is unconditional, but being in love doesn't last.

well, yes.. there is a difference.. though i will contradict what you said about dying for this person when you are "in love" i think being "in love" is still shallow, it is what we first feel and yes, you feel there are butterflies in your stomach, your face lights up when you see this person... you think - i mean just "think" you can do anything for this person... but in reality you can't, and you probably won't. whereas when you choose to love someone, having that feeling of heaviness in your heart when you dont see this person, you think of him all the time, perhaps miss him... that is deeper than the first one. You can stop "being in love" and sometimes you feel you dont have feelings for this person but still chooses to be with him/her and do things for him/her that you never thought you are capable of doing... life changing decisions are present, etc... that sure is leading you to true love... cause it is a choice.

They definitely are not the same. I have felt love several times for women I have had relationships with and even for my ex-wife, but I have only been IN LOVE once. Unfortunately the timing was not right and she was not IN LOVE with me although I think she loved me. Before it happened I had wondered how I would know if I was IN LOVE and if there was a difference. Then I just knew. After we were no longer together I knew it was possible but I was back to wondering how I would know. I hate to tell you this, but if your bf thinks there is no difference then he may love you, but he probably isn't IN LOVE with you. Sorry, but that just seems to be the cold hard truth. Now the question is, are you IN LOVE with him? To leave this on a bit more positive note, it certainly is possible to be happy with only loving and not being IN LOVE, but the later is really better.