depression/gambling life in genral

July 26, 2007 12:19am CST
I feel as if my life just sucks since i had my 5 child im depressed over my looks im depressed over not having loads of money im trying to quit smoking but only slowly winning on it i dont sleep much cause i just suffer all night long from back pain i get to the point where i gamble on line to make loads of money which are just scams cause once i win heaps go to withdrawl it too much of a headache to get the money but i just keep doing it then it makes me more depressed cause i know i should not have done it im tied all day cause i cant sleep due to the back ache i get to the point where ive just about quit smoikn but for some reason 4-6 days later il just go by a pack then i get chest pains from doing so some nights i just wish i never would wake up again but i love my partner and my kids too much that i also dont wont to leave just yet can anyone suggest anyways to keep me busy during the day anyways to make decent money online not these little pennies i need to find a way out of this depression im in
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1 response
• United States
26 Jul 07
I have walked in your shoes, I was depressed most of my life, I tried to end it all twice but I screwed that up. I got pregnant the night of my high school graduation and we got married. We ended up having one more child. I continued to be depressed for years. There where days I did nothing but cry. Then I went to a doctor and told her what was going on and got on the right medication. I started to see the light of day. I now have more bright days then dark days. I was able to go to school to become a nurse and worked for 20 years at our local hospital while in school and working I still had bad days but I continued on. Now the best advise I can give you is go to your physician and be honest with him/her; tell all. Tell him/her of the back pain and the depression. With the right medications and theapry you will start to feel whole again. I do not know what it must be like to have to take care of 5 children and your partner. I could hardly function with my two. I know I was not doing them any good by not taking care of myself, my thinking was not clear. MY days where spent thinking about what a waste I was, what a looser I was, I was fat, ugly, I did not desever anything, and the list went on and on. Now those thoughts are not with me. The kids are grown and happy adults. I am still married to their father it will be 30 years in September. I am disabled and yes we have a lot of money problems but I can think clear enough not to put myself down every second of the day. Good luck to you.
• Australia
26 Jul 07
thankyou for that i just dont like the idea of going on the medication cause its meant to make you sleepy or get addicted to it but i have to do something cause i hardly do housework my partner works and does housework i cant be bothered dealing with the kids only if i have to i have a 5 month old that i wish i could enjoy spending the time with him but if he cries during the night or early in the moring i get his dad to deal with him which is pritty unfair but i will go talk to the quack