Obese Foster Father's child removed
By estherlou
@estherlou (5015)
United States
July 29, 2007 12:08pm CST
"Stocklaufer is a state-certified foster parent. He and his wife, Cynthia, had taken in baby Max from a cousin who couldn't raise him. The couple also has an adopted son named Bobby. Stocklaufer said Max's biological mother had signed over parental rights to them in April. He said he and his wife wanted to formally adopt Max, so they went to family court and expected quick approval.
They didn't get it. "We had Max for three months. He was taken away around the 13th of last month," Stocklaufer told KMBC's Jim Flink. "He means the world to us, and our world has been taken out from underneath of us."
How sad for this couple. Having the child for 3 months is certainly long enough to love the child and bond with the child. This is a weird story.
http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/13763346/detail.html
5 people like this
13 responses
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
29 Jul 07
This is sad! I do think the man should lose the weight for his own sake and the sake of his child but I don't think that his weight should be a reason to take away the child. The most important thing about being a father is loving that child not how much one weighs. My father has been overweight as long as I can remember but that didn't impact his ability to be a provider and father. There are too many men out there who aren't willing to be real fathers and it is absurd to take a child away for being overweight.
2 people like this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
29 Jul 07
From time to time we hear of this kind of thing when the very system that is meant to help goes horribly awry. Our children are our future and should be tended to more lovingly. The system there needs severe help and upgrading I am sure. I hope that this all works out with media attention and no long lastin damage is down to the child.
Thank for sharing this with Mylot. Attention to matters like this could be fixed if more of us knew and cared to do something about it.
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
29 Jul 07
I read this story earlier in the week on CNN. What I think is weird, is that this couple has a Foster Care license. SO they are allowed to foster but no adopt? The same judge that rules against them having Max, gave them Bobby. What has changed since they adopted Bobby?
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
29 Jul 07
That is ashame that they would take a child away from a parent because they are overweight. I think the judge could have handled this differently and I saw that several doctors offered the father free gastric bypass surgery. I think the judge made this decision based on the problem of child obesity in this country and seeing that the father was obese caused the judge to do this. I think it is cruel to take the child away for that reason since he has proven to be a good father in the past and has done nothing wrong. I can see both sides but I think the couple should be allowed to keep the child unless they do something wrong.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I think that is very unfair and to me it is discrimiation. It is very possible to lose weight. I wonder if the father was already obese when they adopted the other child?
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Jul 07
If that's really the reason that the child was taken away, that's horrific. I can't imagine what his being obese has to do with his ability to be a father to the child. And since they already have an adopted son and are certified foster parents, I can't see how the court could not see that he's already proven he can be a father in that condition!
Grrr. This kind of stuff just makes me so angry! Children are taken away from people who are taking care of them, and left with people who aren't. How dumb could the system possibly get?
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157665)
• United States
29 Jul 07
Unless there is something else that has not been publicized, this is just out and out wrong. It seems like in adoption cases we do not do the child any good emotionally because of stupid stuff. I applaud the community wanting to support this couple, by giving gastric surgery. We had better watch out or they will begin taking birth children away for reasons like this as well. This cannot be all of the issue, can it?
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
30 Jul 07
That is really a messed up situation. I don't understand how the mans weight has anything to do with his parenting skills. I know several people who are over weight and even some that are obese and have kids and do a really good job in raising their kids.
This story is really confusing and I have never heard of such a thing. I can't even believe the judge could be so... well, stupid.
Just because he is an obese man doesn't mean he can't take care of the child. I mean, I'm sure he is able to do thing, like walk, shower, and just keep up with himself, and if not, then I guess I understand. But I wonder if his wife is obese as well? Either way, if they can get around, work and so on and show the child love and all this, then I don't understand.
I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
2 Aug 07
Oh this is sad. These people seem to be good people. They seem to sincerely and genuinely care for this child. It seems ridiculous to think that this fellow's weight has caused the authorities to remove the child from the home...this simply does not make sense.
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
29 Jul 07
The story stated at the bottom that one of the decisions on whether or not a person is fit to adopt a child is medical. Weight issues is considered medical to some degree cause the heavier you are, the chances of heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, etc go up. I feel that is why the judge didn't approve the adoption. I feel for the guy but why on earth did he let himself gain so much weight to begin with? Is it medical reasons or just being lazy and eating all the wrong foods or too much?
@mummymo (23706)
•
29 Jul 07
If this is the real reason that poor baby was taken from a home where he was loved it really shows that the courts are not living in the real world! Sure they have to consider the welfare of the child but how exactly is being obese a factor that will damage a childs well being? Ok there may be health risks to an obese person but lots of people have inherited illnesses that can start showing up at any time! Is being in foster care really in the childs best interest when there is a family that love him and want to adopt him grieving at having him taken away - I think not! xxx
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
29 Jul 07
MY heart hurts for the father and the baby. I feel the judge had no right to take the baby out of the house just because the father is obese. I am obese, I am loseing weight it does not make me a bad mom because I am fat. I continued to work and do everything I was suppose to do as a mother of children when my kids where growing up.
@motorheadbanger (441)
• United States
12 Aug 07
If they think they can do this to one family, what is to prevent them from doing this to other families where the parents maybe obese?
