Do you defend other people?

It is not something she is alone in doing, I'm afraid. I've known quite a few people, especially coworkers, that are like that. Say one thing to your face & bad mouth you behind your back. :( I know when I was growing up, I was always told, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I think this concept may be behind the "nice to your face" part, while a close family member feels comfortable telling you the less nice things about them when they're gone. My mother had a habit of doing that to my hubby when we were having some troubles years ago. So yes, at that point I did do a lot of defending when she would start talking bad about him when we were alone. I know she had had some bad experiences in life by then, but the situations weren't the same and I needed her to understand why.