Have you ever been seperated or divorced??
August 4, 2007 10:17am CST
What was the determining factor behind your decision to seperate? How did you know when it was time to say we can't do this anymore, its not working, its over??? This is important to me because my marriage is having some issues and I'm very confused.
4 Aug 07
Well my divorce was easy, my ex was an abusive man that was a complete jerk. Once I realized I couldn't fix him nor could I accept his faults, it was over. I think it's what your heart answers to these questions. Can you continue to live with him as is? Cause unless he has shown you he can change it most likely won't. If he can't change, can you? Can you learn to accept his flaws? These were the questions I asked myself during that marraige.
• South Africa
4 Aug 07
I was married for 5 years and it was 5 years of utter hell. There were moments that were fun and good but mostly they were blanked out by all the misery and problems that we had. Eventually it reached a point where I could not deal with it any more and I tried to move out. The night I moved out, he hit me and pushed me around... that was the last straw and I immediately filed for divorce. It is now just little over a year ago and he is living with me. At this stage he still has his own room and we have worked out most of our problems... He went for help and has made some huge changes. He is still trying and so am I and maybe one day things will work out for us, but at least we are trying. I do not know when the right time is when you say ok I cannot do it this anymore or I cannot live like this anymore. I think it is when you realise that you really did not want this type of life and you wanted more from life and from your marriage. Once you realise that you have done all you can but there is nothing forthcoming from your partner. When you realize that there is way more to life than this type of marriage...\ I hope this little bit of insight has helped you in some small way...
4 Aug 07
i left for 6 months last year because he was a control freak and very indimidating. i moved out, had my own place...it was very hard on my kids...but later we went to counselling and have gotten back together and it is much better than before. try counselling, its worth it!
• United States
12 Feb 08
Everyone is different, but deep down be honest with yourself. You cant say that everything is going bad with the marriage and then put on a front for your friends and family that everything is okay. I have been divorced and honesty is the best policy. Good luck I know what you are going through