Do you ever feel like your mother should "butt out" of your business?

United States
August 12, 2007 2:38am CST
Sometimes I feel this way. My mother for the longest has her mind made up that she ALWAYS knows whats best for my child. I have had to tell her several times that this is my child, not hers, and I know what is best for him. The thing is sometimes she jumps to conclusions without even knowing what's going on and says hurtful things, which is one reason why I moved 50 miles away. She had me so stressed living in the same city as her. Even though I moved when she comes to visit me, the same thing starts again. We end up arguing often and it really stresses me out. Sometimes she will apologize and sometimes she won't. I really love my mother but I am really sick of it. Do you ever feel like your mother should "butt out" of your business? Have you ever dealt with a situation like this? What would you do?
2 people like this
6 responses
• United States
14 Aug 07
Yeah, been there, done that. My mom has learned to lay off tho. I had to downright be rude to her tho, and we didn't talk for over a week because of it. She's finally figured out that I am going to do what I am going to do. She raised me to be independent and think for myself, which is exactly what I do. Good luck to ya, hon. I sympathize.
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Aug 07
Oh boy it's the mother subject. I am such a mom! I babysit one of my grandchildren every day while my daughter goes to school. I try to remind myself that when her mommy comes home that I am not her parent. Will actually let me just say I also remind myself of that every day and my grand daughter as well by always mentioning mommy because for one mommy as to be away from her so much right now! When my duaghter comes home from school though and decides to stay for dinner I once in awhile catch myself correcting my grand daughter when her mother is right there beside her. I don't mean to, it is just a quick reaction. It is no sooner out of my mouth when I am saying sorry honey but my daughter as already done the mom thing. Like mom I am here now you don't' need to discipline her I will. So my side of the story is, my daughter needs to give me a break and understand that I am the caregiver every single day and sometimes at night depending on my daughters need for study time and it is hard to turn it off sometimes when your granddaughter is about to turn her water glass upside down for fun! I remember what it was like when my kids were little and how important it was for me to have my parenting respected and not over ruled by my mother or anyone for that matter. I have 3 grand children by 3 daughters and i try honoring their parenting wishes when they are around or even when they are not around and I have the children visiting me. I give advise when asked and try my hardest not to when not asked but I have to admit sometimes I fail. It is just so tempting to give my imput! LOL
1 person likes this
• Australia
13 Aug 07
Yes, but I don't blame them at all for trying to be supportive and trying to look out for you. But i'm sure you will start to question her if she started to not worry anything about you and so no, so it never is an easy situation.
1 person likes this
@kakuemmom (862)
• Canada
12 Aug 07
Yep Yep Yep all the time but my mother lives in the downstairs in law apt. I see her all the time but she knows when not to push to many buttons. I used to get upset when she would take it upon her self to tell me what i was doing "wrong" or should i just say not "her" way. But now i just nod my head and say uh huh, and leave it at that even though she is always giving her opinion i just don't listen but she is right sometimes and i think that is what she lives for lol. Now my mother-in-law well that is just a different thing all together she is always telling me what she thinks is wrong right to the point where she will not only upset me but my children as well she will say some really hurtful things but then says i didn't mean it that way. Whatever i look at her age and her health and i let it go i will not fight with her then come home and find out she has passed away so i grin and bear it but complain to my hubby later lol he has big shoulders. Such is life
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
12 Aug 07
this is what called generation gap our elder dont knw about todays necessities and they think as their old experiences but sumtimes their old thinking works gud so never get harsh with them and try to make them understand
1 person likes this
@BinKsBaBy (507)
• United States
12 Aug 07
OMG YES !!!! I DEAL WITH THIS ALL THE TIME! And Mine never says sorry and it never ever stops! I feel that maybe cutting her out completly would be the best thing at times because all the fighting is starting to rub off on my daughter and shes only 5. After spending the day with Grandma she comes home with an attitude and a whole lot of stuff about mommy she heared, so its got to the point for me that I see too many negitive things that come from being around her and not enough positive ones! I dont need my daughter to have this attitude and feel its ok toarguee with me about anything and everything at the age of 5 We have her TEEN years to do that LOL GRRRR not looking forward to those teen years!