Do people question your decision to be childfree?

United States
August 13, 2007 7:14pm CST
A lot of times I find that others (friends, family, coworkers, strangers) do not respect my choice not to have children. I hear a lot of bingos (baby-jingoism) from them, like about changing my mind and being selfish, and all sorts of crap like that. What are your experiences? Do people respect you or do they harass you?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
14 Aug 07
Yes I know what you are saying, I never had children, and never really wanted them, some people just don't understand that some women are just not the maternal type, I love children, other peoples, I get on well with children, I think they think more of me as a friend even my nieces and nephews never called Aunty they called me by my name, and when they were young could talk to me where they couldn't talk to their parents, but I never really wanted kids of my own, I prefered animals, we are all different and just because you are a woman doesn't mean you have crave to have babies....it is quite normal, I often look at some mothers and think they were not meant to have children so, people should do more for what they want themselves than bow down to what siciety says they are meant to do....we are ok regardless...
• United States
14 Aug 07
I don't like children or parents, personally, but everyone has a right to their opinion on that. I just wish people I know would stop telling me that I need to have kids. No, not a single person on earth needs to have kid. Some may want them, but it's not a need any more than a sport's car is a need. I would rather spend my time and energy on more important things. And maybe someday get a cat or something.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
14 Aug 07
Yes I know, I have had people tell me it is good to have kids for when you get old, but coming from one that has volunteered at a nursing home just because you have kids and I have known a couple with many it doesn't mean they are going to me there for you when you are old.
• United States
14 Aug 07
Yeah...I know of a lady with seven kids. Only one of them ever visits her in the nursing home. I mean ever. :(
1 person likes this
@Mayuko (1272)
• United States
13 Jan 12
I'm at a young enough age where people don't expect me to already have kids, so I don't really hear many comments from people. And I don't go around telling others I'm not having kids -- not unless they bring it up. It's mostly my older sister and mother who seem to think my early decision to be childless is something I'll change my mind about someday. They say things like "You'll change your mind when you're married" and "When you're too old to have kids you'll regret it" and "When your friend have kids you'll want some too". It really bothers me because they make it sound as though life is all about kids; that especially as a woman, my ultimate goal in life should be to become a mother. That's just wrong. Everyone has different goals, dreams and desires, and while I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure of the specifics I want in life, I do know with absolute certainty that becoming a mother is NOT one of mine.
@Poison_Girl (4164)
• United States
13 Jun 09
I usually get the usual (cliche) answers, too. "Oh, you'll change your mind someday" and crap like that. Well, I don't like kids, so no, I WON'T change my mind. Only the understanding and open-minded people respect my choice and don't give me crap about it. I haven't even told my family yet. I'm sure they'll eventually figure it out someday. And what's with people calling us selfish? If you ask me, it's the people who have kids to fill some void in their life or just for the sake of having them that are selfish. They're probably just jealous that we figured out we didn't want any before it was too late (like them). HA!