I'm confused...can someone explain traffic generators please???

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So I'm sitting here logging on and off the 30 or so traffic exchanges to see what they are about. Some of them I can't even get past their advertising page. It finally dawned on me that they weren't getting ME traffic I was getting THEM traffic. Why did I come to this conclusion? Well they provide you with all these "tools" to promote their websites, how exactly am I benefiting from them if I put their banners and texts ads on my websites. And to top it off I have to "surf" for the right to have my websites "seen." So clue me in folks, do I have this all wrong?