Happy B-day Mommy, we miss you!

@34momma (13896)
United States
August 15, 2007 8:48am CST
The other day was my mom's birthday. It has been 13 very long years since she passed away. and this is the only year that i didn't completely break down and lose it. I don't know if that means i am starting to get on with my life, or if i am just all cried out. what do you think? I miss her very much, my mom was a great person. I just feel bad now that i didn't get so upset this year. does that make sense to you?
2 people like this
11 responses
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
15 Aug 07
i am sure that last year was not the last year for you. I think this will go up and down all your life. my mom losta child 28 years ago and she still have days that she cries. When u love someone and they die, you will never really get over it,and u will always miss them but I think that u will be more able to remember the good things and that they are in a good place now - without any pain at all!
2 people like this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
15 Aug 07
that makes alot of sense to me. because i never want to get over her, i guess i just want to get over the pain that comes with lost.
@ozwombat (56)
• Australia
16 Aug 07
Gday 34Momma maybe its because youve grown more as a person and realising that while your mums physical presence isnt there shes always in your heart there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You have nothing to feel guilty for just remember shes always in your heart for you to talk to when you need :) Take care ozwombat-pete :)
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
16 Aug 07
she is in my heart and i talk to her all the time. just knowing that she is listening to me really makes me feel good. thank you so much for you kind words
1 person likes this
• Australia
17 Aug 07
I am glad you feel that way and your very welcome so many people hear their beloved from other side but choose to ignore thinking their crazy because its what certain people tell them :) never ever feel guilty for way you feel your feelings are very valid pleasure meeting you :)
• United States
15 Aug 07
I, too, lost my mother back in October of 2004. It does get tough on her birthday & on that day she passed away. Anyway, the only way that I see this being answered is to wait another year & see what happens then. Even a good friend or family member that you knew all your life would not be able to REALLY a definite, honest answer.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
15 Aug 07
i am sorry to hear about your lost. and it is good to talk to people who know and understand where i am coming from!
• United States
15 Aug 07
Well, my mother's birthday was near the end of May, with Mother's Day being in the middle of that month. We ususally celebrated the two at the same time.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
15 Aug 07
I believe that it means that you are starting to heal. There is no need to feel guilty about that, it is a good thing. I loss my mother 27 years ago at the age of ten and I am still missing her. The healing process can take time. Let it flow. Don't fight it or question it. Just do it.
@34momma (13896)
• United States
15 Aug 07
you are right i just have to keep my head up and not fight the feelings when they do come or when they don't come, thanks rozie
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
15 Aug 07
You're welcome.
@disvachic (10123)
• United States
16 Aug 07
I think it really does make sense to me 34 momma.Because you did not break down and cry this year you shouldn't feel bad.YOu love your mother dearly and she knows that.I think your reason for not crying is you're getting on with your life now. She is in heaven a safe and happy place and you are keeping her in your heart but going on with your life.She will always be a part of you and have a place in your heart regardless.So dont feel bad.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
17 Aug 07
you are right. she is safe and i hold her memories in my heart and mind and if i stand still just so, i can smell her. it is a wonderful thing to know that she is always right there
@yojspew (171)
• Philippines
15 Aug 07
I understand what you're feeling...my dad passed away last Feb. 2005...and last month was his birthday...we went to the cemetery to visit him...I still do miss him a lot but I've noticed that the lost is not that painful anymore...I think it's true what they say that "Time heals everything" I think in your case, you're starting to heal...just keep it up and always remember that your mom is in God's hands now...she is happy and free from any pains of this world..^^...just like my dad...^^
@34momma (13896)
• United States
16 Aug 07
so true, time heals all. and in time things what hurts ya. i am glad time is working it's thing on you
@cmsk2005 (1770)
• United States
15 Aug 07
I am sorry to hear it but this is the time which has this power to hel us. I believe in it so strogly and i have this believe that only time can heal us completel and nothing else lke time. So you will be ok and with time and ofcourse when you are with your kids and feting around with them, that is a world you can forget everything else for it. It is not anything you can feel bad, this is the way things goes here on the earth
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
16 Aug 07
she was a great grandma to my oldest son. i just loved to watch them together!
• Ireland
15 Aug 07
I went through the same with my grandfather, and I was so worried that if I stopped being upset, he would think I didn't care. Then a friend reminded me of how much he would love to be still alive and would be so proud of me for being strong and living my life to the fulest, since he couldn't anymore.
@34momma (13896)
• United States
16 Aug 07
it is great when you know that you are not alone. so thank you so much for sharing your story with me and i know when others read they will get something from your response
@TerryZ (22085)
• United States
15 Aug 07
Hi 34momma! I do know that feeling quite well. And each year it gets so much easier. I didnt believe it when someone said that to me but now I know what they are talking about. I dont know if it means your getting on with your life but I do know its alot easier to cope with these happy days. You take care now. Oh and yes it does make sense to me.LOL
@34momma (13896)
• United States
15 Aug 07
thanks terryz. i tell you quilt is a hard pill to swallow you know!
• China
16 Aug 07
Time is the great medicine to any pain and misery of people,your leading a happy life is the best wish to her in heaven.
1 person likes this
@Jaytech (2251)
16 Aug 07
I think that your upset is the same as it was, you've just learned how to deal with it, that's what time does, it teaches us how to cope with how trauma's & worries. Try not to feel bad, your mum loves you very much & is in a better place now & one day you'll be reunited again :)