What did you do when someone close to you told you they were homosexual?

United States
August 17, 2007 9:49am CST
Recently my brother-in-law informed us that he is gay. Honestly, I wasn't surprised, but my husband took it pretty hard. You see they were both raised in a Christian home and just never thought anything like this could happen. A.H. (brother-in-law) says he doens't believe there is anything wrong with it but yet also says he struggles to reconcile his life to Biblical teachings since he does believe the Bible is true. ????? My husband and I talked to him about it but even though he says he is open minded to our beliefs, his actions are just the opposite. I asked if I could talk to him about it further and initially he said yes but now he says that nothing I'm going to say will change his mind. Should I try anyway or just leave it alone? What did you do?
2 people like this
7 responses
@zaichn (319)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
First thing is that I will definitely be surprised especially if that person shows no sign of homosexuality in the past.. and just suddenly break out of his shell and confess that he is homosexual. Next is take time off.. Not that you won't like or be a friend to that person.. But just take time to accept whatever he/she is.. Then accept him/her. You can't really do anything about it. They have their own lives. Regardless if they believe in the Bible. That is a good thing though that they remain their faith in God.. But remember, God created.. Adam and Eve.. NOT Adam and Steve.. :) It's their choice, their decision. Just give your husband some time off. He has to accept it.. Maybe not now but soon enough. Don't just leave it alone.. You can be there for your husband.. comfort him.. since he really took the homosexuality of his bro seriously.. I mean, he basically is surprised and maybe even angry.. Just be there for him. Best of luck to you!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Aug 07
Thanks for the response. I remember my first visit to their home, before we were married. Their mom showed me some pics of A.H.'s recent trip, about 10 girls and himself, and told me he'd never had a serious girlfriend. The first time I saw him he was dressed like he step off the cover of GQ. One of my very first thoughts was, I wonder... I think the signs were there, just maybe ignored. Anyway, we've already told him that we will always accept him as a person but that doesn't have to mean that we agree with his lifestyle.
1 person likes this
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Many people I've been close to have told me that they're homosexual. It doesn't make a difference ot me. They're still the same person they were the day before they "came out." A person's sexuality doesn't really change who they are.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
Hi jen_jen! I have a friend who have had a difficult time in telling his family of his true identity and that is being homosexual. He told me about his secret and how he was struggling with himself. I was just there for him and listen to his story and told him that maybe in time, his family would accept who he really is. I really am in no position to tell him what is right or what is wrong because in my heart I know that we have a merciful God who understands what we are all going through. Until to this day, he never told his family and he is still struggling to be straight but he is single and a celibate. He says he is just happy to have friends around him that understands him and who is helping him. But I see that there is some sadness in his eyes. Have a nice day and take care!
17 Aug 07
I can't really see how come homosexuality is such a problem, at the end of the day it is that persons choice, it doesn't make them any less of person or character, its just their genetic make-up.
@Bujoyseth (1684)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
well, i think, all i have to do is accept who he is.. it's his choice to be like that.. but still, i can't imagine why some people chose to be that way. i just can't understand what is their poinnt of view of deciding to be in that way of living..
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Well a friend of mine revealed it a few years back. I was totally cool with it and tried to encourage him to not feel so ashamed or hesitant to reveal it to others. Be who you are.
@jHoEn16 (2043)
• Australia
18 Aug 07
if it will happened in my case, for sure i will be shocked! but i will accept him whoever he is... thats his choice, and thats what he want to be... he is happy being a gay and he will be more happy to tell you and know that all the people around him accept him as he is... so just respect him and support him with all you can... goodluck