what is your definition of a good listener?

@yiumao (25)
China
August 20, 2007 12:18am CST
It seems to me that the pace of our live is getting faster and faster,and everything is rushing and rushing. We do not have enough time to do this or do that. A lot of things have been ended up being the victims of our fast pace and high tempo society. One of them i'd like you to share is the lost art of listening. Do you interrupt other's talking? Do you show any sign of impatience while listening other's talking? How important is the listening in the relationship? How to improve our listening skills? I am listening...
3 people like this
9 responses
• India
20 Aug 07
well i am not a very good listener as i tend to interrupt when i have some doubt..thats not a good idea..because if you are talking about communication skills then you need to have a good ear and a bad tongue..lol..who does not like to be listened by the way..how i'll define a good listener is...amm..let me think..like this.A good listener is not someone with nothing to say but the one who can keep his points on hold for some limited period of time...hmm..cool na..one more..a good listener is a good talker with a sore throat..lol..now in case of a relationship i will say it is very important to be a good listener as many of the arguments can be avoided as well as the your partner also feels good if you listen to him/her..so in the long run it pays you off as you become more respectable be it any kind of relationship as others will start coming to you because you lend them an ear and thus attention..it is a human behavior to seek attention as you must be knowing and if somebody gives you that attention you will definitely go for that person..so to be a good listener you need to be more patient as well as self controlling..
• India
20 Aug 07
yup a good topic for discussion..keep it up..i tried tagging it as communication skills but i don't know nothing appeared..i dn know why...anyways...got to go now
@artemis432 (7396)
• United States
20 Aug 07
A good listener is someone who engages is what is called active listening. The process of active listening involves participating in a conversation in such a way that results in mutual understanding. Rather than focusing on other things - tv, computer, other people - what you want to say next, this form of interactive participation, this true listening, involves focused attention on what the other is saying. Even in an argument. Its important to be able to reflect bact to your conversation dance partner what has been conveyed. "It sounds like what you're feeling is..." "What I'm hearing you say is..." This form of interaction has many benefits, one hears the first time and doesn't have to have the same conversation over and over - and may learn something very interesting, second it avoids a misunderstanding or misinterpretation of what the other is saying and most important, it paves the way for further discourse. It opens the person speaking, encourages them to go further. Whether in conflict or in conversation this brings two people closer, makes each feel as if the other is truly intuned with them, and in time, it makes you more and more in tune with the person, so that you can listen, if you're open to it, on many levels. Conversation is like a dance. It can be jerky and have each stepping on each others toes, or it can be flowing and smooth. And, like the music we dance to can have a harmony and rhythmn to it. Too often we lose that rhythm and harmony, like you said because we rush about and don't take the time for the important things.
• United States
20 Aug 07
Btw, this was a really great idea for a topic!
• India
21 Aug 07
1 who listens and if any doubts ask after the end and clarifies it
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
21 Aug 07
simple... shut up and listen.
• India
21 Aug 07
nice qn..
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
20 Aug 07
Hi yiumao. Listening for me is when you realy hears the other person not only with what his words tell you but what his heart is telling you too. There are sometimes hidden messages beneath all those words and we just have to be more senstive. I guess that requires time and in some cases you just need to give a little of it. Well, that is just my view. Take care and have a nice day.
@teleios (738)
• Philippines
20 Aug 07
i think I would know if a person is a good listener by the things he/she does NOT do, and not by the things that he/she does... I have been in situations where I felt so low and depressed and the only thing I wanted to do was pour out everything I was feeling. The people who just sat there, quietly holding my hand or nodding from time to time, they helped me far better than those who would butt in every 5 minutes to tell me how confused they were about what I was going through, and how helpless they felt seeing me like that.just being there, emphasizing without being nosy AND noisy, that's what a good listener is.
@vinzen (1001)
• India
20 Aug 07
Thanks for listening!! Yes, this is an art that many dont possess, as no one seems to have that kind of freetime, and is forever on the move, rushing and thinking ahead and wanting to run of for errands. And they dont realise that communication skill are very important if we want realtionshiops to prosper and if we want people to talk and listen to each other, we have to make that effort. We should first be good listeners, and learn to give a fair hearing to the person, try and understand what they are saying, analyse their thoughts and talks, and when they have ended, then give our views, suggestions. We should not interrupt them while they talk ,as it breaks their flow and sounds rude as well, and instead should wait for our turn to talk, for which we should have ample free time at hand. Incase we are in a rush, we should apologise and excuse ourseleves saying that wed get back to them soon and make sure that in your free time you do give them a proper hearing. If we are not able to listen , we cannot communicate effectively with anyone, listening comes first, then talking.
@wonderful1 (2076)
• China
20 Aug 07
i'm a good listener, i often keep silent when i make friends with strangers, then i think i can know him/her more. then i can learn lots of news and knowledges.so be a good listener, then you can find a different world. But sometimes, i don't want to be a listener of someone, she often talk about others private things, it is very boring for me, then i will go away.