When someone touches or rubs your arm, do you feel comforted or weird?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
August 22, 2007 4:56pm CST
When I was growing up, I used to see adults touch each other on the forearms, when talking to each other. And, at the time, I didn't understand why they would do such a thing. Later, I learned that it's supposed to be a gesture of comfort and reassurance.
With that being said, I really don't like my arms being touched by perfect strangers! It doesn't make me feel comforted at all. Most times, I feel creeped out and strange. Sort of like, why is this perfect stranger touching my arm. Even if there's a smile on their face as they are doing that, I still feel very put off.
I guess if it were someone I knew then I wouldn't feel so weird. Maybe if I had been in an auto wreck and one of the paramedics was reassuring me that I would be alright and not to worry and then rubbed my fore arm, I might feel reassured. Perhaps, it's an unconscious gesture people do without even thinking about it.
So, how do you feel when someone touches or runs your arm or pats your shoulder? Does it feel like they are trying to be reassuring (assuming you're in a distressful situation, where you might need to be comforted)? Do you feel reassured? Or, does it make you feel apprehensive and weird?
7 people like this
32 responses
@raychill (6525)
• United States
22 Aug 07
A while back I met this really cute dude who was a touchy guy. Not so much the type you're talking about, but he definitely touched people. Usually on the shoulder, sometimes legs (if it was a girl, he didn't touch dudes on the legs) and it was funny. I didn't mind cause he was hot.
In general I really don't like to be touched though. Especially by someone I don't know at all. I know a lot of people who are "huggers" and I feel so awkward going to give someone a hug that I don't even know! I hug friends and family but not strangers!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (85498)
• United States
22 Aug 07
Now that you mention it, I realize that when someone does do that, I have the same reaction almost every time. When someone touches or rubs my arm, I usually use my other hand to rub or 'wipe' the place they touched. I don't know why. It's not that I think they gave me germs, it's just that I'd rather them not do that.
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
23 Aug 07
Yeah, I think we all get that creeped out feeling. I wonder why so many people do it if they are getting grossed out by it as well? Hmmm! That's a thought.
1 person likes this
@Thirteenth (291)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
I do that too. Being touched leaves me with a weird feeling where they touch me, so I often use my hand to try and brush it away.
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
23 Aug 07
Like you, I feel it depends on the situation, Beauty. I wouldn't have any qualms about somebody who was familiar to me rubbing my forearm, but I don't think I would accept it from a total stranger.
I have a tendency to touch a person's hand rather than their forearm, and if they're somebody close to me, I might even give it a gentle squeeze, but I never rub their forearm. However, I think it's just an automatic reaction to ease their pain or fears, or even a way of making them feel cared for.
Brightest Blessings.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
23 Aug 07
That sounds right! Thanks for lending your viewpoint on this one. Nice to see you again.
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
22 Aug 07
It all depends on yours and their concept of personal space.
Personally it makes me uncomfortable to the point of making my skin crawl, but it's hard to deal with because the other person sees it as giving you a kind gesture.
1 person likes this
@peanutjar (5198)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
This happens to me alot,especially with the elderly people.I know they dont mean harm and thats the ways some of them are,but it makes me feel weird and uncomfortable inside,mostly due to the fact that i dont know them.They like to comment on my daughter and when talking touch the back of my arm or the front.Yes there is a difference though,for me if its a doctor,ambulance worker,etc.i would feel comforted.When someone pats my shoulder it makes me feel like a child and that i did something good and i deserved a pat for it.I dont like that either.
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
23 Aug 07
Maybe that older person doing something like that means it's a comforting gesture from another generation. Guess modern people are totally different. Very interesting.
@Thirteenth (291)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
I would hate being touched like that. It would be annoying enough if it was someone I knew, but if it was a complete stranger doing it, I would be pretty freaked out.
1 person likes this
@aevinodkumaar (49)
• India
23 Aug 07
True, but when its gesture of reassurance, we got to think about it..
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
2 Oct 07
It all depends when it's my friends or someone I know or even my nurses I feel comforted, but if it's someone I have no clue who they are I may feel weird because I don't know them. If I was in an accident and a paramedic rubbed my arm then I think I would be alright.
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
23 Aug 07
Well Im like you when a stranger touches me I get so weirded out! And I want to run. But if its a friend or family Im okay with it. Ive always thought it was because I dont trust people. Ive always been leary and I need to really get to know someone before I will let my gaurd down. I dont think thats a bad thing.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
23 Aug 07
I would feel werid myself if someone I really didn't know was rubbing my arm to calm me down. I would tell them to please back away from me. That would feel strange to me also. I had a boss put her hands on my shoulders one time and I told her to get away from me. She was tring to calm me down I think but that made me feel really mad.
@angelsworld (142)
• United States
23 Aug 07
Depends who is touching. I myself felt comforted while my hubby did a lots of time, so no matter when and why??as far as others are concerned why should i think of it when i don't have to take anything with anyone else.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
24 Aug 07
If its friends or family that do it, I am ok with it. It's when a complete stranger does it then I would feel uncomfortable because they have come within my personal space. Not knowing them is scary enough but if its because they are just being helpful then maybe I will feel ok but still, a little apprehensive lol
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
2 Oct 07
Hello there. I do not mind being touched on my arms by my friends. However, I do not like being touched by strangers or acquaintances too.
In times of distress, it's always good to have someone by your side who can give you a word of comfort, a warm hug or just a sincere touch. =D
@CaitBaby (446)
• United States
23 Aug 07
I am not a touchy-feely type of person at all. I can't stand for people (especially people I bearly even know) to touch me. I really can't stand to be hugged either. Certain people are okay. Like I don't mind if it's my boyfriend, but you know when you go to family reunions and everybody comes up and touches you. It creeps me out!
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
23 Aug 07
I agree with you completely , I do feel weird when being touched by a stranger and wouldn't take comfort in the way it was intended from someone I didn't know but from a friend then I would definitely be comforted as the touch of a friend can be a big help when feeling down or upset about something .
@racheld (840)
• United States
23 Aug 07
Its pretty funny that I came across this discussion because my mom and I were just talking about this last night. My mom has this co-worker that has to touch you whenever she talks to you. She'll run 1/2 way down the hall to grab a hold of your arm or shoulder and then tell you what she wanted to say. Its really annoying. Some people are just very touchy feely, I however, am not. Personally, I don't like when people touch me at work. I'll have a few of the guys at work that will come over and pull on my pony tail or something like that. This one guy will pull his chair up to my desk so close that he's practically sitting on my lap. Sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable and other times I don't care. I guess it really depends on who's doing it!
@pinnibabu (135)
•
23 Aug 07
I would slap the person in case it is a stranger. I would not like such behaviour from my near and dear ones too.
