I am a daughter....but me and my mom barely talk now.

Canada
August 30, 2007 8:34pm CST
I was really close to my mom. But she basically made me choose between her and my husband. My husband who I pledged my life to and my mom...I picked him. But I miss her like crazy!
1 person likes this
8 responses
31 Aug 07
A good mother should never say this to her child... Im sorry if it hurts you to hear this but she must be a bad mother to do this to you!
• Canada
31 Aug 07
My mom has said alot of bad things to me...I guess this is just another bad thing!
31 Aug 07
it may hurt you to hear this, and im sorry to say this, but it is the truth, she is a bad mother! she should supprt you whole the wway
• Canada
31 Aug 07
You know people around me have been saying that to me my whole life...and you see it once and you say the same thing. Maybe I am just too hard on myself.
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
2 Sep 07
Umm i don't mean to pry and I know its none of my business but how can your mom make you choose between your husband and her? does she not know that one day you will find someone to share your life with and begin to start your own life? You know, even though you may not be on good terms at the moment, why don't you send her a card and tell her that you're thinking of her and that you miss her. What hurt could that do? I bet she is missing you like crazy too and maybe doesn't know how to approach you or?!? Hugs!!
• Canada
2 Sep 07
I guess my mom thought I would be with her for my whole life even though she kicked me out at 20. I guess I was supposed to bypass my plans and be loyal to her. Wow that feels better to say that!
@vinzen (1022)
• India
1 Sep 07
We all will miss our moms, if we faced such a situation. But i would not let go of her so easily. If you really love your mom, then you must try to analyse the reason why she said what she said, why shes behaved this ways, and try to make her come back to you. I mean that therer is always a reason for things to happen and maybe she felt hurt, or was pained by either your or your husbands some behaviour or maybe she has felt that your priorities will not change and you will forget her once your husband comes in the scene, so she would not have been happy with you getting married. I agree, it was not right on her part and she should have acted maturedly and you both should have talked things out, but maybe, shes not the kinds, her nature maybe different, she loves you and did not want to loose you. She thought maybe you would choose her instead too, that ways she would have you to herself. But you loved and got married and wet away. I am very sure, just like you, your mother would be still hurt. I would suggest there is no harm in going and talking things with her, and explaining them to her lovingly. Am sure all will get well, as she too will realise that its got over now and you are already married, and you too can assure her that you would keep coming to meet her, make her feel special and make her realise that she has a special place in your life too.
• Canada
2 Sep 07
Thanks for the wonderful words.
• United States
31 Aug 07
That is a tough situation, taylor. You should choose your husband because you are an adult, but you also only have one mother. What is her issue with him? If it;s something that can be resolved then it's worth a try. Talk to your husband and see if he'd be willing to work it out with your mom. Then talk to your mom and try to get the two together.
• Canada
1 Sep 07
I'm afraid if they get together again it will be a big fight! And I have been trying to not make that happen for 7 years now. They both hate each other and I'm stuck in the middle.
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
31 Aug 07
Sorry your mom made you feel this way! Mom maybe should have voiced her views on your husband and let it drop. Maybe with time you and your mom will be able to patch things up. If she believes your husband is not the right one for you, maybe she will see he is making you happy and change her mind. Don't give up calling her, she is still your mom!
• Canada
1 Sep 07
You know I have done that for her...I don't like her husbands but at least they make her happy so I just act like I like them.
@AmbiePam (49079)
• United States
31 Aug 07
Oh, that is so hurtful. I was reading a discussion the other day from some people in Asian countries, well developed countries, and they were talking about if it come to saving their mother or their wife, they would choose their mother! That stunned me. Because people need to to stay true to each other. And if she doesn't understand that, it's sad. I bet she misses you just as much as you miss her. Do you think you could try to contact her and see if she is receptive?
• United States
31 Aug 07
I'm about to play devil's advocate here, and I'm not trying to be mean, so please don't think that. Your message was short, so I am trying to understand the dynamics of the situation. What reason did your mom give for a "choose me or him" kind of sentiment? Was it something she said, or was it through actions that she displayed? Did she think your husband was mean to you, was hurtful or disrespectful? I agree that moms can be a bit overbearing at times or just out and out mean. But, you said you and she were always close up until you married. It's sad that you and your mom aren't close anymore. I couldn't imagine my mother and I having that sort of rift between us, and it would be devastating if there were. Sometimes just calling a person on things helps. Would talking to her help? Perhaps calling her up one day and asking point blank, "why can't we be close like we were"? or "what can we do to fix this"? I totally agree with you about your husband. You chose to be with him forever, and it's unfair for someone to expect you to back out of a vow that you made. Fate made you her daughter, but your choice made you HIS wife. It's different to love because you have to versus wanting to. I do hope that you will be able to work things out with your mom. Sometimes time heals wounds and things that seemed big problems before will seem smaller with that passage of time. Hopefully, that will be the case with you and your mom. Try not to give up on her.
• Canada
1 Sep 07
It is a long story...but I know my mom thought I would always be true to her. But I guess I need to think for myself for once!
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
15 Jan 08
My Mom and I went through a period of about a year when we didn't talk b/c we had a huge fight. It was really hard on both of us. Thankfully, we've moved past it and we talk again now but I still regret the time we missed out on. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~