How do you deal with a miscarriage?

Ireland
September 6, 2007 8:55am CST
self explanatory...?
3 responses
• United States
6 Sep 07
I had a hard time when I miscarried. I got really depressed. It was difficult because I had no one to talk to about it. None of my friends had gone through it. My mom had, but she refused to talk about it. I finally ended up joining an online support group. Being able to talk about it with someone who had been through it and understood what I was feeling really helped.
• Ireland
6 Sep 07
i am sorry to hear you had to go through that practically on your own,was your partner not supportive?i am glad you found support from a group, i think its so important to tlk bout it. I miscarried just after christmas and had to bottle it up, im only 19 and i couldnt tell my parents and my boyf didnt realise i was so bothered as we hadnt planned a baby.
• United States
6 Sep 07
My husband was supportive to some extent. He got me out of the house and kept me busy so I wouldn't sit around and cry. He also held me when I did cry. He just didn't want to talk about it and I needed to work through my emotions. Even if he had wanted to talk about it, I'm not sure it would have helped any. He's a man so there's no way he could understand how it feels to have another life growing inside you or how it feels to know you're losing your baby and there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening.
• Ireland
7 Sep 07
no mine had no idea what to say or how to broach the subject but i eventually broke down and made him listen..just listen..coz i had no1 else to talk to.it still slightly hangs over me a little but its not like a dirty secret anymore
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
7 Sep 07
You grieve. Between my two sons, I lost a baby very early in the pregnancy. Many people couldn't understand why I was so upset since "it wasn't real yet". To me, that was my baby. Maybe my daughter I always wanted. I was so happy when I found out and I had bled with my first so I wasn't too worried when I spotted with this one but it was over fast. My hormones were a mess. I was crying a lot and grieving the loss of a child I would never know. It took time. Ironically I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery a week or two later and I probably would have lost the baby anyway because, at the time, they had to go in and open people up, not just suction out the gallbladder. That didn't make me feel better but I always wondered if it was all as it was meant to be. I would never have had the surgery and a stone was blocking a duct and could have killed me. I guess we never know why things happen. I still think about the middle baby and what he or she may have looked like and how my life would be different but I have two wonderful sons and I am grateful. I bled with the last son too and BOY did I freak out but he was just fine. I guess you just have to grieve for your loss and eventually, it does get easier.
• Ireland
10 Sep 07
i guess you just have to believe things happen for a reason. thank you for sharin your touchin story and i am glad that it was all ok for you in the end,losing something you love be it unborn makes you appreciate more what you do have in the end god bless
• China
7 Sep 07
that is terrible to me ! i mustn't let my girlfriend face that!! so before my wedding,i mustn't let her impregnation,because i know miscarriage is a big harm to a woman.but what i worried is she has not menses this month !!BLESS!!my god !
• Ireland
7 Sep 07
she missed a period? don't worry too soon, there could be loads of reasons she missed it..stress,not eating correctly etc. for assurance do a test if you'r that worried but it will sort itself out in time. as for gettin married before havin a baby..i dont kno if this is such a big deal, some people feel its just right and i appreciate that but i wonder do they just feel obligated and if so then they marry for the wrong reasons.