Am I too bad for still feeling the anger at my husband who have died already?

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Am I too bad for still feeling the anger when my husband died already? I have been married before to a man of my age, at first everything was alright but then after a year I found out he was a drug addict, that's when I knew the reasons he was hitting me,kicking me, slapping me, and all the things you couldn't imagine a husband could do to his wife, I lost one of my teeth because of him.. he punched me in the cheeks that's why! I loved him so much and I did everything, I took care of him, prepared his clothes, foods, made our house clean all the time, took care of our children, I almost loved him as my God but he never really loved me the way I did to him, ... One day I wake up not wanting to see him anymore.. and he became paranoid, he accused me of things I swear I didn't do... he killed himself by taking a muriatic acid, and died after few months of hospitalization...but why is it that I still feel the anger?? I still feel the pain, the insecurities he brought me, what I couldn't accept is that inspite of all the things i've done... he still did that to me... am I worhthless of his love??? am I unworthy??? how can I forgive him... I cannot move on.... other people think I did... but I know I've still not... Everytime I remember him, I feel angry of what he did,... what do you think can I do to forgive him??