How do you handle gossip?(I am not one to gossip ane you didn't hear ir from me)
By sjohnson628
@sjohnson628 (3197)
United States
September 12, 2007 8:01pm CST
How do you feel when someone that is close to you does nothing but talk bad about other people? It really gets on my nerves! Especially when they are dissing ones that I really care deeply about!
This one person in my life does nothing but gossip and complain about other people and they do not care if the person they are dissing hears them!!!
I hate it especially when my name gets mentioned from this person's mouth.
It just angers me to no end.
How do you handle gossip?
Do you get angry?
do you walk away?
do you feed into the gossip?
Please share how gossip has ever ruined your life or how it may be ruining it right now.
3 people like this
12 responses
@adityamandan (102)
• India
27 Sep 07
well i agree with you completely. it sometimes really get on my nerves sometimes too. but let me give you an interesting solution to that. ever noticed and thought about as to why your ears are parallel to each other. so that it creates a oneway from where you let the words you enter one way and let them go out the other way and not effect your mind. its hard to do that but yet very simple. just requires little deliberate effort.
2 people like this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
13 Sep 07
I hate gossping. it ruins good friendships and relationships. It allows mistrust and I would not be close to tha person again. I hate it when I disclose something pesonal and I hear it all over the palce. Many times I have been in a particular spot - hidden somewhere and no sees me and I hear them talking about me. I do listen and then come out to let them know I heard. What i dont do is make a quarrel. I hate confrontations so I avoid it. I am not supposed to be heard quarrelling over these things - it is petty. Gossipping is done by people who have nothing to do, live for or care for. To occupy their time and to seem important they do that. I dont need that to be important. Look at me! I have always been important! Why talk about me if you dont think I am important?
So friend, just ignore them and continue to be who are. It caused me not to trust a friend that I considered as a sister. We talk but thats it nothing personal more than regular hello and so on. It breaks friendships and ruins everything and possibly everyone too.
1 person likes this
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
13 Sep 07
These people love to gossip about everybody and love to put people against everyone. At the same time they are so scared to comfront you. Gossip can destroy friends and families and these type of people don't believe in harmony and peace.
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
14 Sep 07
Well I have had first hand experience in a situation where gossipping hurt me and my relationship with the young lady I share the house with. People just pretend that they are your firends to get information to pass on to others escpecially the women.
Let me share this with you all.
As you know or may notknow we recently had our general elections here in Jamaica and how have a new prime minister. After working in this Minsitry for 9 years and currently undergoing transformation process of course may people are nervous about where they stand. This lady who lives at the back of yard who knows nothing about me my qualifications or educations is saying that she is glad for the new government becos some of us will go home. Now she is the main gossipper and contention maker in the yard so of course i laughed and went inside. See she is looking something or someone to quarrel with or about. I said they are not happy and she is not happy so she wants others to be unhappy but you know what they cant touch me. I ma filled with so much love for them that if they knew they would have just changed your attitudes and be better people. Even after they hurt and I can helpd them I still do. i refuse to let anythignor anyone with their dirty words make me or my family unhappy. Gossippers need a life!
1 person likes this
@Dolcerina (3376)
• Hungary
14 Sep 07
As I read the post in this discussion, I have to think that I am lucky. I do not know anybody who gossip about me (when I hear), or to me....
When somebody wants to gossip about others I ask back automatically something related to the conversation, but not about the person. In this way I close that conversation imediatelly. I think that is the best.
Gossip about me: yes, I remember I had a rude neighbour who gossiped lies about me, but I moved. God will care about her ;) I am sure.
1 person likes this
@billionaire5 (1333)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Well I can't say that it has ruined my life although it is really annoying, I have had people at my job gossip about me and I just let them. A friend of mine told me that it is when they stop talking about you is when there is a problem. Gossip can be taken in different ways now the people at my job had what they said come back to haunt them in the end so I just let the check fall where they may and let my personality and abilities speak for themselves because people are always going to form their own conclusions so I don't bother to defend gossip. Hi Sharon I haven't been here in a while nice discussion.
1 person likes this
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Sometimes It flatters me that people have nothing better to do than talk about me. LOL!
Hey I must be doing something right if they are gossiping about me......
AND if it ain't right then they are probably jealous!!!! LOL!
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
14 Sep 07
They talk about you because you are important. WWheenver someone says you never heard it from me run as far as you can from them. Man they are the main gossippers. Chances are what you say or didnt say is all over the place. Gossippers stay far from me becos even though I love people and interact with them I keep them at a distance. Certain things people just dont bother me with becuase I will tell yuou to stop right there and dont care how you feel. How does the next person you are talkinga bout feels? Next thing if someone comes to you and tells you tha someone else says ask "and what did you say?' Trust me they will never come back to you agin with any gossip. Or you tell them to call the person they are talkinga bout because you dont feel comfortable having that talk withour the next person.
@alfecris (181)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
normally i get embarrassed for them or even to me on myself when they talk about me.humiliation really gets me out of my nerves and it makes me feel unease. so how do i handle gossip, for me since it is there, i will just let it fly away and try to forget all those bad things i have heard about me or other people from them. well i do gossip before but know i have changed. of course i get angry to those people talking bad things about the others and yes the only thing that can make it close is to walk aways rather than to stay back and hear bad things which exceeds on the limits i mean that harms the lives of other people. in my friends, i could sense that they gossip me a lot when i am not around on their very eyes. the only thing i want is not to hear those bad words about me or the others so that i won't get really hurt.
@walkinthecloudz (233)
• Pakistan
13 Sep 07
goosips...i hate gossips and i hate those people who take interests in gossips. usually what i have seen due gossips people break their relationships. stupid people because due to communication gap the word of mouth changes so fast that when it reaches you it has changed into a new topic. thats why i dont believe on such :(
@paulsy (1263)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
I hate gossip! I get so pissed when I hear people gossipping about someone else's life. I mean, I guess they have nothing better to do with their own time, so they use their time gossipping about other people's lives. What irks me more is when I learn that they are gossipping about me! If they were gossipping about some truth, then, I guess I can't help that. If it were some good truth, that's fine, they probably envy me, and if it were a bad one, well, sorry for me, it's the truth, and the gossippers got to it. I should keep my trash in my backyard. However if it was a false story, I would get really mad, they'd better hide their faces!
1 person likes this
@naty1941 (2336)
• United States
13 Sep 07
I have an aunt that is a terrible gossiper and all my cousins know about it. She tells such big lies that she has ruined several of our relationships with the rest of the family. I hardly ever talk to her as she lives in Puerto Rico and I live in California. She had the nerve to ask one of my cousins why people don't want to visit her as she is getting on in years. She is 77 years old. My cousin told her that she is a liar and a gossiper and no one wants to be near her.
1 person likes this
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
13 Sep 07
At the moment there is no gossip going on around here. But as far as gossip goes. Well it depends on what kind. But if someone is always going to be talking about other people, than that is just wrong. It would have me angry as well. And I don't think gossip has ever affected my life, as I remember. but hey there might be something I don't know about.
1 person likes this
@zabawaus (1730)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Hi sjohnson,
I had similar experiences like people always talk about their girl or boyfriends or husband and wives. Or just talking about people around them which i really want to hear a word :) Whenever i am in that kind of condition i try to change the subject or tell the person that i really do not care. If after a while person still insists making gossip i get angry and warn him/her. If it goes like this it means that i don't enjot her/him friendship anymore so i cut the relation. It happened once :) Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@claire03 (1443)
• United States
13 Sep 07
i don't mind gossip since i know it's not true, unless i really seen it happened or i really felt its true. I don't like people who makes gossip cause they are just creating troubles or might as well call them "trouble maker" i don't like to be with someone who always makes gossip. It can ruin someones life and reputation specially if it's not really true. If somebody made a gossip about something i just clarify it and i don't act guilty or defensive since it's not true. i will just tell them to do something worthwhile. :)
@Rose7179 (217)
• United States
13 Sep 07
I agree with you. My family used to gossip about my (now) husband and I would always say something to them about it. It really gets me when people can talk behind someones back but never to their face. I usually just stop talking to them for a while.
1 person likes this
