do you think that if you lost 2 kids?

September 22, 2007 7:56pm CST
HI, I have a sister that has had two boys. they are 9 years apart and she lost both of them. State took them away. I have the yougest one we adopted him. Ok here is the thing she hasnt changed her life at all, still has no home of her own, still drinks and she just had twins!! yes that is right 2 little girls. Far as i know she is being watched and she has to go to court,. they babies are still in the hosptail because they were to early. ANyway she is still allowed to see them everyday and be with them. I cant get any one to give me any answeres bout them or what will hapeen. What would you do? what do u think? After all i am their Aunt and i have their full brother, he should be able to know them.
6 people like this
5 responses
@KissThis (3008)
• United States
23 Sep 07
Since your sister is already in the system I would suggest to you that you contact the social worker handling the case. More then likely the State will ask that it be given custody of the twins. Meaning that any time your sister fails to meet the States standards they will remove the twins from her care. I have also been through a similar situation with my niece. I adopted two of her four children. The other two live with their birth father. If you aren't able to adopt the twins I would suggest trying to set up sibling visits.
2 people like this
23 Sep 07
yes i will thanks. I tried calling down the county where they in the hosptail they woulnt not give me no info. I am going to call the worker i know i see if she can get ahold the worked that took my son from her to see if they can help me. I know she is waiting to go to court, i just dont understand why she is allowed to be with them. must be they havent decided yet.
1 person likes this
@KissThis (3008)
• United States
28 Sep 07
The state is allowing her to be with the children now is because the state feels the children are safe with her while they are in the hospital. They also can stop her from being with the children until the state can get a court order. Have you heard anything about what is going on?
1 person likes this
2 Oct 07
no i havent got anywhere yet. The worker that helped me adopte our son has been trying to help me. I hope to hear from her this week. She was going to call today to try find out some for me. Be nice to know for sure so we can get ready, the waiting is hard. thanks again
@briarose (124)
• United States
23 Sep 07
She has an addiction and needs help. Has she ever gone through any kind of rehab? It is sooo sad I tend not to be tolerant of addictions when they are affecting the health and safety of others but I have never had an addiction so I shouldn't judge to harshly and I have heard that even with something as devestating as losing your children isn't enough to make you stop. She needs the tools and education and support to keep her off the bottle. Her bad habits are probably a contributing reason to the prematurity, and they will probably encourage her to see the girls as much as possible because it will actually help the babies thrive. If you are not on speaking terms at all is there another family member that can intervene? It is such a touchy situation but if she is still drinking and shows up at the hospital under the influence the nurses will alert social services and more than likely the girls will be place in foster care with supervised visits until it is determined your sister is able to care for the girls - if she even wants to? If her addiction is too great she may not want that responsibility. I know this may be very difficult and don't know if you are asking because you are thinking of taking the girls in if need be but the most important thing is that little boy you are caring for and God bless you for giving him a loving home and family. I will keep you all in my prayers.
2 people like this
23 Sep 07
From what i know she wants to keep them. She says she is sober but i cant belive so. SHe doesnt have a place, i guess she is getting one so have one when they get out. She said when they get better i can go see them/. She cant forgive me for taking her son, even though she is glad he is with family she still has hard feelings for me. She was so bad he was in forster care for year and a half with no contack with family , then i finllay was able to get people to listen to me and i got them. Far as i know if the girls are taken away they can go right in my care if i want to not to go to forster care. If i am able to that is what i will do. I will make sure i can handle them and the 3 boys i have at home allready. My 12 and 14 year old and the 5 year old. All my boys. i love them with all my heart.
1 person likes this
@briarose (124)
• United States
23 Sep 07
God bless you. I don't know if I could handle twins:) That is a shame she has such hard feeling towards you but I have no empathy for her, she made those decisions that led to his removal addiction or no addiction. I am also happy to hear the girls could forego foster care and go directly to you. Hopefully it is true that she is sober but I don't see how she is going to get a place so quickly. You sound like you have a big heart and I know this must be an extremely difficult time for you. Just take care of yourself and I will be thinking of your family.
2 people like this
23 Sep 07
thanks so much i will. I love the kids so much .
1 person likes this
@Jshean20 (14374)
• Canada
23 Sep 07
It's unfortunate that things turned out that way for your sister, how noble of you to adopt her little boy though, you deserve a pat on the back for that. Until your sister has changed her old ways, she shouldn't be raising those twins. Sounds like she needs a friend and some help to get her life together again...
2 people like this
23 Sep 07
there has been alot of peole to try to help her and before the state took all rights away from her before they had her in rehabs all over the state. they didnt work. she was so close to getting him back that on the frist 4 hour home vist for him to see her at home alone. She was not there, they found her later on in anthoer town drunk. So that was the last straw.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (90075)
• Marion, Kansas
23 Sep 07
If I was predicting, I would say that she would not be able to keep them very long either. It is hard to care for twins, and much harder to care for premature babies. Are you saying that you would want to adopt these two children as well? Think it over. They may have health issues and other problems if she drank throughout her pregnancy. What is the little boy like Is he okay? Even in the case of the welfare of children, there are two or three things that hold true. Number one, most states presume (whether rightly or not) that a child is better off with their biological parent. and secondly, until she does something seriously wrong, they will not remove the children from her custody. The old "innocent until proven guilty" thing. I am sorry to hear this about any child, or children.
23 Sep 07
HI, yes the little boy is fine.he is 5 nowYes we are thinnking about adopting them to. BUt we will check in their health before we decide to.Also from what i understand when they were born the hosptail called the county who took my son and they said putt them from the mother. But they had to be flown to another hosptail cuss they were so small and sick. From what i know she still is waiting for her court. I am just taking it one step at a time and will see where it brings me. If i can i will get them so they can be with their brother and cousiouns
1 person likes this
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
23 Sep 07
I wouldn't want to see them go in to foster care, it sounds like that's where they'd be headed if no one intervenes... Maybe she's sober, maybe she isn't but if she doesn't have a place to live I see that as an issue. Twins are hard enough, premie twins I imagine would be harder. Does she work? Where's the father? Does he want to step forward and take care of them?
1 person likes this
23 Sep 07
no she dont work. the father is with her but he is no good either. he isnt fit be a father
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 07
Sad situation. Why does she keep having kids if she's not willing to grow up?
1 person likes this
2 Oct 07
I dont know why she keeps having them For one she dont see she has a problem. She thinks she can handle it but of course she cant. so hopefully it will stop soon. she doesnt deserve to have kids .other people be good moms and cant have any