Is there always a rivalry between two best friends?
September 25, 2007 8:27pm CST
Rivalry. Competition. Race. Do you like it when there is a rivalry between you and your best friend? Do you feel challenged by that? I don't. I don't even think that's fun at all. Friends are supposed to be building each other up - not tearing each other down just to stand out and become better. I have a best friend who happens to be so competitive. She has this obessessive personality and lately, is so fixated in becoming a better person than me. She tries everything that I do, she flirts with my crushes, she flaunts things she can do and have, and she even challenges me in trying to do things... I know why she's doing that - but I can't understand it. We're supposed to be friends, right? Honestly speaking, I like it when we challenge each other during exams because it motivates me to study more. But I expect at the end of the day, both of us will be happy for each other. But then whenever I win, she gets all sulky and discouraged. Then she challenges me again but somehow her tone is bitter. I don't like it that way. Sometimes, I even think I should just let her win... She's a great best friend though. She just has flaws... flaws that can be corrected if it's not too late, right? IS there always a rivalry between two best friends? Is that normal?
• United States
26 Sep 07
YEah I do feel rivarly between me and my friend.I don't think we want to have rivalry between us, but I guess it is just natural.Women are always jealous of each other.For that is maybe better to has a man friend, while they are not jealous of us woman.They have diffrent opinions and are very helpful most the time.But also friends girls has a lot of advantages too, that's why my best friend is woman.
26 Sep 07
That sounds a bit dysfunctional tbh. Friends arent friend to feel good when the other isnt succesfull. The only competitions I have with my friends are either in fun or to improve. We compete in games, wethers its computer games, bowling, billard, soccer or what not. But in life things like crushes, dates, looks, and those things, we do our best to help and build each other. My friend is bad at making contacts, so I spend a lot of time easing that road for him, seeing that I am very easygoing and open. He helps me to keep focussed when needed. I would never ever consider going out with someone he had a crush on, and I dont tell him he is fat, instead I offer to stand by him when he says he is going on diets, or going to start excersicing (I then offer to help with the excersicing as its always easier when are not alone). Its easy, friends build each other up and help when needed.
26 Sep 07
Sometimes when there's competition in a relationship...it is sad.In a way, it would mean it's the end of it. Feelings of inferiority are meant to be dealt with. and "bestfriends" are supposed to be there to help fight it and go through with it. If you feel there's a competition between you and your bestfriend. Stop it. Unless you are ready to lose your relationship with her.or that person. Humans are weak. if there's anything else that could make you turn away from another human--that's Hurt. So keep away from competitions with the ones you love and cared for. It's unhealthy. You are there to help her/him lift up each other's spirit and confidence..and not to feel that you are one of his rivals or anything.
26 Sep 07
Not at all. Me and my best friends are closest pal and we could do anything for eachother but not compete with each other. I know it is little bit different in studies but I was always better in studies and I helped her alot on improving hers. I never thought that I was better than her I just thought that I could help her. And she was always more beautiful than me but she never thought on flirting with my boyfriend or crushes. She always stayed way back on things that would hurt me. She would even not think of doing things that would probably hurt me and so would I. I think that is the reason why we are best friends. Bestest friends since we were 8.
26 Sep 07
Friends should show love and support for each other and enjoy the successes of each other. As a Christian, I find nowhere in the bible where a competitive spirit is encouraged, yet as a race, let alone friends, we are swamped by competition. Good friends should not compete. That is not friendship. The key to friendship is trust, loyalty and sharing.
26 Sep 07
Not me. For me rivalry and competition has no place in a friendship. Me and my high school and college buddies don't compete against each other. Instead we support each other and are happy when one of us becomes very successful. Sorry but your best friend doesn't sound like a true friend. Right now you only have crushes. Imagine what she would be like when you have boyfriends or husbands.
26 Sep 07
Honesyly speaking i dont like the idea of rivalry between my bestfriend, friends supposed to be the persons who will cheer you up when your down, and support you in times of distress or trouble, anyway what it the use of having a rivalry? what's the importance of it?.. peace..
26 Sep 07
I think it is there in case of true friendship also. In case of best friends too, you always try to be superior from your subconcious mind than the other friend. But it is not always the case. The competetion is good but as far as it is healthy one.
13 Oct 07
When it is best friend, i dont think one should have a rivalry between him/her. Best friend is such an important person in life. We must always look up to him for whatever he is doing for us and the way he handles us when we are under problems. A rivalry must never exist with such a character at all.
17 Oct 07
Well, a rivalry always starts between me and my best friend when one feels jealous of the other. And that just sucks. I feel jealous of her sometimes but I don't indulge in that feeling because I value her. I guess the problem is the feeling isn't vise versa.
6 Oct 07
i'm not sure why other people do that. i hated it because my supposed bestfriend was also bent at beating me in everything that i did. and went as far as keeping my entry for the national painting contest just so i wouldn't stand a chance to win. some people are worth competing but some are better just left alone. maybe she is just insecure but i,too, feel like that sometimes with my friends but i don't go overboard and feel sulky whenever they are doing great. i would rather feel inspired to do better than to sulk and be unhappy for their success.