Who controls your finances?

@smin2x (46)
September 26, 2007 4:31am CST
I'm just wondering who control and manage the finances. husband or wife? As for me, it's hard to manage my family's finances. My husband do the earnings and keeps the earnings. He usually is the one who buys the grocery, pay the bills and just gives me a weekly allowance...I think there is something wrong with this kind of set up but I don't know how to change it.
2 people like this
7 responses
• Canada
5 Oct 07
As long as you feel that you are being respected and treated like an equal partner in your marriage, the set up you described can work well. The problem comes if you feel that you are being treated like a child, or if you feel that your husband sees his earnings as "his" money and he gets to control it. Money earned by the adults in a family belongs to everyone, for the maintenance of the entire family. I have a part time job and my husband works full time. I look after the children during the day, while my husband works. I only work weekends. The money I earn goes to pay for groceries and is used to buy household necessities. It's not mine just because I earned it, and my husband understands that his earnings don't belong to him, they belong to the family. You might be happier with a part time or full time job. It could be anything-it doesn't have to be a "career" type position. You'll be earning money to contribute to the family's needs, and you won't have to rely on an allowance if you want a small thing for yourself. You could start saving a bit for your children's futures, if you have kids, or you could save a bit every week for your own future. I'd encourage you to go for it.
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
27 Sep 07
On opur case, i was the one who is doing the budgeting in our home. Since i am the one who is present with my kids. My husband works abroad and he sends me money every payday. The money he sends is good for our one month budget. It is really a tough job. Since i need to stretch the amount I am recieving to our daily expenses for the whole month. Sometimes I experiences shortage that is why I engage in on;ine programs hoping to earn an extra income that will help me augment our financial needs.
@kishusia (1069)
• India
26 Sep 07
We are a joint family. My father-in-law, my husband and my brother-in-law earn. My mother-in-law, me and sister-in-law manage the household. Finances are being managed and controlled by my in-laws. We also contribute. It is a nice arrangement.
@claire03 (1444)
• United States
26 Sep 07
We manage and control our finances both but primarily my husband does most of it since he owns his business and he wants to monitor the money that's been coming in and out. For personal bills i pay and write the checks that comes out from our personal account and he's just the one who makes the deposits. About grocery's usually he pays for it, everything with regards to food and household needs he takes care of it. If i go out to get grocery i just pay cash or i use my credit cards. I don't spend too much and i only go shopping once a month with him or his mom. Who would control the finances just depends on the situation and what was agreed by both of you. Take care and have a nice day! :)
@ailema4ever (2675)
• Finland
26 Sep 07
I think it depends on both of you. When my mother started working again after we got a bit older, she and Dad had different savings account and they'd each be in control of their own earnings. Right now I'm currently unemployed, so my husband gives me monthly grocery budget and if I need more to buy clothes or anything, I'd ask from him. I don't think there's anything wrong with this kind of set-up as long as you're happy with it. Is the money he gives you enough? If not, then you should talk to him about it. The only thing I require from my husband is that he saves money every month. The rest: I don't care how he uses his salary as long as we've got enough food and daily necessities. When I go back to work later on, I think we'll split responsibility. ;-D But for now, I have no problem with this kind of set-up.
@lisa_wxy (393)
• China
26 Sep 07
in my family,we control ourselves money:) sometimes ,my bf give me some.
@sephrenia (567)
26 Sep 07
For me, my husband controls the finances, not because he particularly wants to, its just that im rubbish with money and I wouldnt get everything paid on time so i let him deal with it and get given so much to get me through the week at uni. This for me is ideal because then i dont panic about not having bought something we needed or forgot to pay something important. In your case it sounds as though things are a bit different to me. Its obvious that you want to have some say in what money goes where so I would start by telling your husband how you feel about getting given an allowance and that you would like a greater say in how the finances are managed and then move on from there. I cant think of anything else that would help you to be honest because its been so long since i was in charge of money but i think if you talk to your husband it might help a little.