How do you know when to compromise and when not to?
By kiobug
@kiobug (2250)
United States
October 1, 2007 9:39pm CST
My boyfriend and I often get into jams with money. Him more then I and I help out. Its okay with me if its unavoidable but he makes dumb decisions. I love the kid to death but i'm a workaholic and don't feel like at 18 I should be working for both of us. Sometimes I feel like i'm giving more then he is but he expresses his love for me so much and i'm so emotionally passive how can i argue? Ive been getting more stubborn lately but its easier not to fight. Latest incident-he was off work for two weeks because he could be....now he is way short in money for bills....i said it was okay for him to stay home but i also feel that he should be aware of the fact that he needed money and gone to work to at least cover that even if he didnt want to....and he let his bank account get overdrawn because he waited two days to go to the bank knowing he wrote a check that was going to get cashed.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
3 Oct 07
My friend went through something similar except he was do really dumb stuff, like be out of work for 6 months. A few months ago he sprained his ankle really bad skateboarding, they thought he broke it and she took him to the ER. They don't have insurance and had to pay with a credit card. Then he couldn't work for a while and it broke her. They had to break the lease on their apt, she moved back with her mom and he got an apt with his friend. She lived with him for about 4 years and she just got fed up with it.
My fiance has a bit of a problem with frivolous spending, but he's getting better.
If I were you, I'd light a fire under his @ss. Taking off two weeks just because he can? BS. How old is he?
2 people like this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
4 Oct 07
Is he in school? Because at 21, he should have it more together than that. It doesn't matter if his parents don't help him, I'm sure he's more than capable of taking care of himself. My fiance has been paying his own bills for a year, after getting kicked out of his parents' with no notice or money at all. He stayed with me and my mom for a few months until he could find an apartment(we have a bit of a shortage here sometimes) but then he was on his own and he was working full time and going to school full time and paying all his own bills. He really needs to learn a work ethic, which seems to be what he lacks.
2 people like this
@kiobug (2250)
• United States
4 Oct 07
Haha omg that is totally us. His parents kicked him out and he lives with my mom and I. He never finished college. He did a semester at our community college and one at an IT school which put him in debt for a school loan. $25,000. He has paid his own bills since he was eighteen. (car, car insurance, gas, computer payments, internet, cable, cell phone, etc.)
1 person likes this
@redfruit2008 (6)
• Virgin Islands (U.S.)
6 Oct 07
It sounds like your boyfriend needs a dose of tough love ! He seems to be taking advantage of your kindness and loyalty and you need to let him fall on his a@@ so he can realize that your not going to always be there to bail him out of his mistakes and its not your job to constantly bail him out cause your not his mother
2 people like this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
9 Feb 08
It is not easy to say "no" to someone you care about but you know in your heart that you will have to one day face this prolbem...but its always easier to give in today?
You are the only one who can know when to "pick your battle"..
this problem is not going to resolve yourself..if your boyfriend is concerned about
you he will learn he has to be more responable..i know ..i was married to a women
did not know the word of maturity or responsability..her parents gave her
too much and she never had to be accountable..she went through six marriages and
six divorces with three children and never changed..but lets hope you can do
better..Good luck..get some mutal help as you BOTH need to be on the same page
