Kid's birthday party etiquette

United States
October 2, 2007 6:26am CST
Hi, looking for some advice here. My daughter will be 7 years old in a few weeks. I was planning to have a pizza party for her with some girls from her class. There are 3 girls she is friends with from last year and then 3 other girls she has become friendly with this year. My question is, should I invite all 12 girls from her class? I don't want to hurt feelings, but a few of the girls she hardly knows, since school just started. How do most parents handle this?
5 people like this
13 responses
@sunshine4 (8710)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I wouldn't feel obligated to invite all the girls from your daughters class. My daughter turned 7 in May. We had a swimming/hot tub luau for her party. She invited only 5 girls~ the ones that she is friends with. I got their addresses and mailed out the invitations. This way she wasn't handing invitations out and not including everyone. I would say invite the friends your daughter wants to come. I also don't like it as a parent when my child is invited to a party just because she is in the kids class. She came home with an invitation just yesterday for a party for a boy named Nick. I have never heard her mention Nick before. I asked if she wanted to go and she said "No, I don't even really know him." I am guessing that his mom just invited the whole class.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 07
Thank you for your input. You made a good point- I hate it when my kid's get invited to parties for kids they hardly know.
1 person likes this
@cefaz_21 (2597)
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
I guess it would be better to ask your daughter about it,if she wants them all to come then invite them,but if she doesn't then you don't have to invite them all,it's her party and she should be happy..you know,inviting those other girls from her class which she hardly knew can put pressure on her and it might spoil her party..but if she says she wants all the girls to come..you have a big party to prepare for! big but absolutely fun!
@34momma (13918)
• United States
2 Oct 07
i think you should just let your little girl pick who she wants at her party. as you said school just started and she doesn't know the other girls tht well. let this be her day have who she wants. that's what i do
@vicki2876 (5640)
• Canada
2 Oct 07
Actually my daughter had a birthday on the seventh of September. She is 12. We had a "make your own pizza party" HEHE When we discussed who to invite, it came down to inviting all the girls from the class. We didn't want to leave anyone out and though I could handle the 14 children if all actually showed up, which I figured only half will. But they all did show up. They all had a ball. Even though not all are her close friends (no one dislikes each other though) it was a party and fun. Figure out how many you could handle. Can you handle it if all showed up? If you can then great. But if you only invite the 6 then the others may not feel bad because that is still a lot of girls not going. It is when only a few girls are left out that would suck. Typically here for your daughters age most parents invite the whole class. But I wouldn't do it if it was too much. Though we had fun and I was prepared (sort of LOL) for that many people it was a lot of work.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Oct 07
I remember when my daughter turned seven. It's such a magical age, yet they can be quite fickle, lol. I don't think you need to invite all 12 girls from her class. I think you should caution her though about not mentioning much about the party while in school or around those that you aren't inviting, so that their feelings aren't hurt. I once invited 10 boys to my son's 8th birthday and it was a shear nightmare. I couldn't keep track of all of them, even with my neice helping. But then boys are rowdier than girls sometimes. Have a great party, and enjoy your little girl on her special day, after all it is your special day as well.
1 person likes this
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
3 Oct 07
I don't know about your school, but I know that in our district, all members of the class have to be invited if the invitations are passed out in the school. So, what I would do is get addresses or telephone numbers of the six girls that she wants to invite, and extend the invitation to them. I don't see any reason why she should have to be forced to invite people that she doesn't really know. It's HER birthday, and she should be able to have fun with people she enjoys.
1 person likes this
@cikedo (3487)
• United States
3 Oct 07
If I was in your position I would only invite the 6 girls your daughter is really friends with. Since it doesn't sound like your daughter knows the other children as well as the other six girls then I don't think they would mind that much. Parties can get expensive and you shouldn't feel the need to take care of everyone just because they happen to be in the same class as your child. If you do decide to invite all 12 girls I wouldn't worry too much since not everyone who is invited always shows up.
1 person likes this
• India
3 Oct 07
Since its a new start for her in school, I think you should invite all the 12 girls to the party. She'll then get along well and this is the age when the tiny tots enjoy their life. But be sure the next time, invite only her friends, most probably she'll have a handful by that time. Many many happy returns of the day to your daughter from my side in advance. Take care.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3817)
• United States
3 Oct 07
I would have to say that marciaj is right. That's what I plan on doing with my youngest. Taking enough cupcakes and drinks for the class, then letting her inviting a few kids from her class. That way her class gets to enjoy her birthday and have a party party on the weekend so she can enjoy the whole day. 6 kids for your daughter isn't bad, but you also have to consider family that will be coming to the party. So that adds up fast.
1 person likes this
@Razzles (391)
• United States
3 Oct 07
I was in this same situation when my kids were younger. I decided to invite all the girls. It is possible that not all the girls will show up. Anyway, there will be no hard feelings. Have fun!!
@vissy10 (82)
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
If I'm in your situation I would invite all the 12 girls. My daughter will gain more friends and who knows, her best friend in life might come from that "hardly knows" group. And, if those girls don't get invited, they might take it personally and alienate my daughter in their group. I would rather have many girls liking my daughter rather than not liking her. Girls these age, unlike adults, can be comfortable in their peers even if they don't know each other well yet. Happy birthday to your daughter ^_^
@reinydawn (11651)
• United States
3 Oct 07
I say just go with her friends. Why start at this young age making them feel as if they have to cater to everyone else? It's HER party, why should she have to invite people she barely knows. I'm sorry, but I think that we don't allow our children to be "rejected" (if that's what you want to call it) and that's something they will have to learn to deal with. When my kids were little, they only invited their friends. And when they were invited to a party that was just inviting the whole class they usually did not go. It always seemed like some kind of social standing, and I'm so not for that! Happy Birthday to your daughter by the way!!!!!
1 person likes this
@dpurchas (91)
• United States
3 Oct 07
Personally I would just invite the friends. I don't think it would offend anyone. I have had the same situation in my school and my daughter wasn't invited to a party but some of the other kids were. Although my child is younger and doesn't get affected by stuff like that. I still think it would be ok to just invite the friends though. If nothing else, you could see if you could bring cupcakes or something to the school for the whole class so that the other kids aren't left out.
1 person likes this