raped and pregnant

If she wants an abortion, then sh should get one. There is nothing to feel bad about. It wasn't her fault she got raped, it wasn't her fault she got pregnant. 8 weeks is early enough in the pregnancy that the fetus won't feel anything if she gets an abortion. It doesn't know it's there and it wouldn't know if she got rid of it and there's no chance it could everget hurt or be in pain from how it came to be. If she does have it, then there's no telling what kinds of things could happen to it. It might have a good life, but it might not.

Well I am sorry for your friend - how dreadful for her. My advice to her would be to do what feels right, and what is best for her. It is her body and her life - if she feels she cannot go through with an abortion, then it is her choice and I would support her, but if she decides to abort I would support her. If it were me, I firmly admit I would abort - I know I could never look at that child without remembering the dreadful things that were done to me to create him/her. I would end up hating the child, and that would be far worse. As for giving it up for adoption - how would that child feel when one day it grew up to reaise it's birth Mother rejected it because of what it's natural Father had done? But that is me - everyone is different, and have their own views on this. The only thing I do know is that your friend will need a good friend right now whatever she decides.

If it were me I would tell her that only she can mak the choice and that no matter what she decides I would still be there for her. She has to know she will not lose her frends and family over it.

Can't really give advice here since its her life. Saying get an abortion or no doesn't do anything. I've seen many sides of the situation. One girl I knew thought the baby was a blessing despite the circumstances; while another girl was completely horrified when it happened to her (she didn't keep it). This will be a tough decision and I'd say your friend has to make the decision herself, not based on what others say. I'd put this in the realm of self sovereignty, let your friend do what she thinks is best.

Oh dear...this is a woman's worst nightmare...I shudder just at the thought of it. I think if I were her, I also wouldn't have the heart to do abortion. Instead, I THINK I may give my baby up for adoption...but I can't say this for sure 'coz this is just a hypothetical question for me. In real life, I may act differently. Who knows??? Well, whatever she decides, the only thing you can do is just be by her side. Crossing my fingers so that your friend'll make the BEST decision so that she won't live with regrets.

I think that if she wants to have an abortion then she should do so considering the circumstances. It's not like she made a dumb mistake or something and now doesnt want to deal with it. This was something horrible that happened to her (the rape not the baby) and if she isnt ready to have the weight of this on her shoulders then she shouldn't have to.

If it was me personaly I would have an abortion I wouldn't want to have that constent reminder of what happened in my face everyday, it would tare me to peices.. How would the child feel also to find out they were conceived through a rap, and not intended.... So sad, my heart goes out to your friend she must be going through hell... I hope she has her friends and family to support her through this, and get all the help she needs to grow stronger and gain back herself...

OMG Thats just terrible. Well she has to a certain amount of weeks pregnant to get an abortion. If I were her I dont know what Id do. I feel so sorry for that woman. I hope things work out for her.

I would support her, but, it's ultimately her decision. She should make it on her own without ramifications of being ashamed or shunned. She better make a decision soon either way. It wouldn't be a hard one for me, under the circumstances, I would have one.

Support her in any way that you can. Find out if she want to go see a good doctor to talk to such as a psychologist to help her in the decision making. It is a terrible thing that has happened to her but she is not the first one and unfortunately will to be the last woman that this happens to. Dopes she know the rapist? If so them make sure that he pays either for the upbringing (if she decides to keep the baby) or the abortion (if that is the way she decide to go or at least the doctors visits and other medical cost, what ever they might be.

Taby, you know Im really sorry that happened to your friend. It would be my advice not to listen to too many people on here. Your friend needs to make this choice on her own, without prejudice. She has to block out everyone and be strong. Im sure its making her head go in circles, I get that way when Im trying to balance the check book! Support her, and tell her that you support ANY decision she is going to make. Perhaps even if you dont really. She doesnt need pro's and con's pulling her left and right. Bay xx

It is all up to her decision actually. However, if she wants to keep it, she needs to think futher ahead, such as, will she hate the kid later in the future, everytime she looks at the kid's face, cos it will remind her of her tragic experience. For me, I would have aborted it.

You do not give your friend ANY advise at all. The last thing someone needs in this situation is hearing a million "well what I would do" scenarios. Be a friend and let her know you will support her no matter what her decision. DO NOT listen to any of the "holyier than thou" people that say abortion is not an option. I personally do not believe in abortion BUT it the case of a rape pregnancy it should be legal. I'ts a horriblr thing to happen to anyone but if you recommend what she should, she follows your advise and regrets it later...guess who she is going to be mad at?

Hi taby, sad to hear about that. Sigh, I mean it's bad for her situation but..abortion is not encouraged. Well, after all I don't know what to advice. I mean it's hurt for a lady to meet this kind of thing and in fact the child is unwanted but..yet I feel abortion shouldn't be applied. God bless her...

I think that she has a choice in life. She can choose to have this baby and give it up for adoption or raise the baby by herself with the support of family and friends. Since she would not be able to live with herself if she had an abortion, this is the best possible solution for her. Giving the baby up for adoption would give another childless couple, a chance to experience love that only a child can bring.

Although I don't agree with abortion, I can't make this choice for her. All I can do is give my own opinion and I think the only good adivce I can give her is to go with your gut feelings. Fallow your heart. I'm sure she will make the right choice. She could have the baby and then give it up for adoption, or she could raise the baby as nothing happened. And believe me, it can be done. I know mothers that have kids that were rape victoms and they went ahead and had the child and raised it with no problems at all. It's a rocky road, but you just have to have support. But in the end if she wants an abortion, then that is her choice. But she should think everything over, but she shouldn't wait until the last minute. She is 2 months and the baby is growing. Soon she might even build a bond. It has a heartbeat already. She just needs support. Good luck with your friend!

I have done a lot of research on the subject and usually the victim of a rape keeps her child or releases the child to adoption. She has already been victimized and abortion would further victimize her. Has she heard of the Crisis Pregnancy Centers, they provide cribs and clothes and help to mothers in need. I do not believe in abortion. Many women do because either they hate children, and because they blame infertile couples for being infertile, or they had abortions themselves and want to punish pregnant woman for daring to get pregnant, many of them have the idea that if you got pregnant when single even if a man tied you up and beat you senseless, it is your fault and you should be punished. They also believe that no one in the whole universe will want the baby, and it should not be born. This is a link to the Crisis Pregnancy Site. http://www.priestsforlife.org/crisis.html I do not know if she is Roman Catholic, (I am not) but they will help her.

Is it possible she was pregnant already when she was raped? The morning after pill is of course not 100% effective, but taking it within the recommended time frame is of course the most effective it can be. If she were already a few days along in a pregnancy, then the rape happened & then she took the morning after pill- it'd be very unlikely to end the pregnancy. If that's at all possible & if it would help her decide what she wants to do; I'd suggest she get in for a trans-vag*nal (can't believe MyLot doesn't allow that word) ultrasound as soon as possible. The earlier in a pregnancy an U/S is done, the more accurate it is with determining the date of conception. If that's not possible, I'd suggest that you encourage her to talk to a therapist who specifically works with survivors of rape. If she wishes to continue the pregnancy, of course that's her right. But she'll reasonably need more support & help throughout the pregnancy as she heals from the rape too.

I don't know wha to say. It's a pretty personal choice. My daughter was concieved out of rape and I went on and married the man. It's up to her I guess. But if she did all that and she is still pregnant there must be a reason.

In most cases people go for an abortion, but you have to let her know the status of her body before she does that..So she doesnt go for abortion and loses her womb.To me I support abortion this time around because it is unbearable to mother a child or such circumstance. please this is just what came to my head at the moment and cant be considered 50% best solution, just making contributions anyway.