Suspect Friend is Using Drugs

@worldwise1 (14892)
United States
October 16, 2007 1:35pm CST
I have had a very close friend for many years who was on drugs when I met her. I was happy to be a part of her making the decision to leave that lifestyle behind and get clean. This friend is quite a bit younger than I am, but we have always had the best relationship. For almost a year now I have agonized about her because I have seen signs that she might have relapsed. You never want to admit these things, but when the signs are there you cannot continue to ignore them. We used to spend hours on the phone every day. The upshot of this is that she became involved with a man of dubious character just before I started noticing the changes. I do know that he would enable her to have easy access to drugs. She had been doing so well, even raising her little granddaughter. I have tried to think of a way to bring up the issue with her but it is not easy. I keep telling myself that I could be wrong-but I don't think I am. Should I bring up the subject to her? Recently she has told me a couple of times that she wanted to tell me something but she always gets interrupted. I love her like a little sister and would hate to see her fall back into that lifestyle.
6 people like this
5 responses
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I think I would find a time to be with her when she won't be interrupted. Ask her what it is she had wanted to tell you. Maybe you won't have to bring it up, she will. If that isn't it, I think that I would say something to her and hope she is honest with you.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I think she has tried to tell me, Thoroughrob, but she can't get up enough nerve to. She has always held me in such high regard that I know she doesn't want to disappoint me. It will be up to me to draw her out on this.
• United States
17 Oct 07
I had a very similiar situation that I went through. I did bring it up to my friend that I thought she had relapsed and she got offended and even told me that she would have nothing to hide if she was doing it and that she would have brought it up to me. Years later she told me that she had relapsed at that time and when she realized that people could notice she was ashamed and that was what made her stop for good. So I do not regret bringing it up even though she lied to me because at least I know that I did my part in trying to help and showing my geniune concern for her.
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@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I am thinking along those same lines, mandyb. She has always given me most of the credit for her going into rehab before, and I did threaten to stop being her friend if she didn't get some help then. She really looks up to me for some reason and I plan to use that for all it is worth.
@Thomakis (45)
16 Oct 07
It is definitely worth a try to at least attempt to get to the bottom of this, and I'm sure that regardless of the truth, your concern should be appreciated nonetheless. The problem is that when it comes to dealing with addictions, once a person has - at any time in their lives - developed a dependency on any substance, quitting it is virtually impossible; one simply refuses to satisfy their cravings, which eventually get less intense over time (but are still there.) Best of luck with this problem, though.
@gabs8513 (48821)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 07
If I was in your Shoes and I know it is not easy I would actually ask her in a gentle way make her trust you and see what she says just tell her that you are worried about her and that you care for her so if she is you would like her to be honest so you can help her Good Luck and I really hope it works out Hugs to you
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24726)
• Australia
21 Oct 07
Of course you should bring it up. She has been trying to let you know I think by mentioning the "something to tell you". For some, it's very easy to relapse. I gave up smoking for over 2 years and met a guy online who smoked. We planned to meet and for some reason I found myself smoking again because I was going to be meeting someone who smoked. Yes, terribly stupid and a feeble excuse but that's what it was and zI'm once again battling to stay quit. I've been smoking on and off since Feb. I'd say your friend needs your help and is aware of how big an ask it is and doesn't want to risk losing your friendship. It's quite understandable. Good luck.