He wants to be a princess...or Super Girl

@foxyfire33 (10009)
United States
October 17, 2007 12:22am CST
Yep it's Halloween costume time and my 4 year old son is very passionate about pink and all things "girly". I really do think it's cute but it's times like this when I'm not sure what to do. He's only going to be little for a short time so on one hand I want him to have happy little memories and do those little things that will bring him pleasure. Besides it's just a Halloween costume, right? But on the other hand, I can't imagine sending him to preschool and out trick or treating in a princess costume or dressed head to toe in pink for Super Girl. I've talked to him about being a prince instead of a princess, or Super Boy instead of Super Girl, but he wants nothing to do with it. He is very insistent that he wants a princess dress or a pink Super Girl costume (and by that he means the pink leotard, pink tights and a pink cape). So, any one else having costume issues? Any ideas on what I could do to give him what he wants without being too "girly"? (and please no rude remarks...he's a 4 year old little boy!)
2 people like this
13 responses
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
17 Oct 07
While, his request may seem hard for you to understand...it apparently means quite a bit to him...society would just have to get over it if this was my son...it is just a costume...so what is the harm??? I would not be hung up on what others thought of it...if he wanted to be a "boyish" costume then would there still be a question?? Probably not.... It is a costume...not a real-life admission of anything long term...I know that many people will disagree with me, my friend, but I really do not see the harm in letting him have his way on this costume..... I know that you will do whatever you think is best...I hope that you and him can reach an acceptable decision that is right for all concerned....
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Generally that's my opinion too. I'm just being overprotective because he has no friends at school as it is. The poor little bugger!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 07
If it was jus for trick or treating I would say let him. But he's in preschool and we all know that kids can be cruel. You might be doing him more harm than good by letting him be that. The kids at school are gonna be brutal on him about it. saying it;s a girly costume and such. I have a 6 year old son and if it was me in this position what i would do would be take your son to the costume store and try to show him the boy costumes. Explain to him that there is no princess costumes in the boy section. Point out other costumes that might catch his eye. I'm not saying let him follow the crowd, but you also don;t want your little boy coming home in tears for the rest of the school year because all the other kids are teasing him about a one day halloween costume.
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
17 Oct 07
That's exactly what I wory about too! The majority of trick or treating will be done at relatives or friends houses so they all know him and what he likes. It's the school part that could be the problem. He has a black and pink back pack and a pink Hello Kitty lunch box but that seems different than a whole dress or outfit. Maybe the trip to the store will give him some different ideas for the school costume at least. I want him to be happy with his costume, not a target for teasing!
1 person likes this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
17 Oct 07
You could let him have two costumes one for school and one for tricker treating? -Amber
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@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
17 Oct 07
That's beginning to sound like the best compromise. Thanks!
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Your welcome, there is nothing wrong with having two costumes, twice the fun! :) years from now when your going through your pictures with your son he will remember how much fun he had that halloween. -Amber
1 person likes this
@MH4444 (2161)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I like that idea. Very creative and fair. ^-^
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I think since he has a black and pink backpack and a hello kitty lunch box at school. The kids in his class already knows that he loves pink, I don't see the harm in it. Instead of getting a boy costume for school, what about him going as something that a boy or a girl can be. He has a wonderful imagination to come up with a pink Super girl, good luck with finding a pink cape and if you do let me know where. I have a 5 yr old little girl that's been into pink since she was 2, lol, she calls it the new black. If anything, you can sit him down and somehow go through with him about what the other boys in his class would think if he went to school in a dress or a pink supergirl costume. Get his opinion, honestly, he knows his classmates better than you. Good Luck, and I can't wait to see pics of his costume either way.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Well, I read this and went and talked to him...he says that he thinks the other boys should wear dresses too so it would be ok! I really don't think I'm going to talk him out of this no matter what...Maybe a Prince in a tunic costume would work, that way it will be a "boy" costume but will still look enough like a dress to keep him happy lol. If we did the cape thing, I was just going to buy some pink fabric and make one. They're pretty easy to make.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
18 Oct 07
You have a very high strung little boy there. I do love his imagination. Don't let him lose that, it will go very far in his future. So sweet that he thinks that all the other boys should wear dresses. Your idea with the prince costume sounds great. It's so hard to sit a child down and explain things and fear of risking of putting out that light in there eyes. Think of it this way, while the other boys are out playing with cars and other things, your son is getting closer to the girls, lol. He just has to slowly lose the dresses and go from there. With wearing pink, I don't see anything wrong with that. I see a lot of pro football players wearing it. I even seen a t-shirt that say's I'm wearing your girlfriend's t-shirt which is pink, lol.
• United States
17 Oct 07
Well I don't know about supergirl but super woman has the same colors as super man. Maybe you can get him to wear that. Then at trick or treat time he can be a princess
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
18 Oct 07
LOL nope tried that idea...to him Super girl is all pink. I've pretty much decided that he WILL be a princess at least for trick or treat, for school we'll decide as it gets closer.
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
17 Oct 07
Lol,my daughter wants to be: Spider Man Skeleton Zombie Super Man I just laugh,shes 4 1/2 years old and i dont care if shes the man from the moom,haha.As long as shes happy,im happy.Their too young at this age to know any better,plus i dress up as a man,super hero or anything manly at haloween anyway and im a woman,haha.Raggedy andy is nice or a clown.I think its cute this time of year at halloween when you see little boys dress up like that.Alot do here and it does not mean that when they get older that they will go a different way.Their young and little,whats the difference if girls play with trucks,pirates and such,mine does and shes still girly.I hope you find an answer to the costume dilemna:) Peanut
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
18 Oct 07
That's the kind of girl I was too...never into the frilly girly stuff. That's why I normally support him in liking dolls and stuff, I don't see the difference. That's the one thing that always bugged me, how people have those stupid, narrow minded opinions about how boys should be and how they'll turn out "different" if they like anything besides cars and manly man stuff. If that was the case I'm thinking there would be a lot more "different" women in the world lol
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I would allow him to pick his costume to trick-or-treat, and then you pick the one that he will wear to school. That way he gets his way, but he doesn't have to be subjected to mean-spirited comments from friends at school. You could make one of the costumes from things you have at home, that way you don't have to buy two new costumes..Or go look at a consingment shop for some ideas, or many times they have costumes.. (I just sold my son's old costumes there last week). EIther way, he's still young. I overheard a disagreement between my son (3 yrs) and his two older boy friends (5 and 6 years old) they were arguing over who got to be the princess in the resuce the princess game they were playing.... My son showed them how to twirl like a princess.. it was cute and very funny, one of those things i'll never forget, and will remind him of when he is older. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Your son sounds so cute! The two costume idea is sounding really good. He's already having trouble making friends at school because he's shy and likes to play with the "girl toys"...the girls don't know what to make of him and the other boys won't play princess and doll house. The last thing he needs, I think, is to go there in a princess dress. Even though he'll go to a different elementary school than the other kids, he still has to spend the rest of this year there and that is a long time to a 4 year old.
• Canada
17 Oct 07
what i difficult issue. you mentioned that for school it would be more difficult to show up in a princess costume. i've made a comprimise with my daughter. i made her holloween costume that she wanted and it's a little fragile so i told her if you want this one nice for trick or treating then you have to wear one of your dress up outfits for school and keep this one nice for trick or treating. so you could try to get him to wear something different for school and then let him be what he wants to be for trick or treating. i just wanted to mention how great of a mother you are for listning to him, and being understanding that he likes pink and princesses. most parents would say your are a boy and not allooed to even like that. good for you.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Thanks! I have to deal with so many not so nice comments from people it's good to hear a nice one for a change!Just the oter day e told his grandpa about a doll and princess castle he wants, his grandpa replied "Dolls are for girls and sissy boys, you don't want to be a sissy boy"! The way I see it, he's just a little boy, his preferences mean nothing (and even if they did, so what), and there is nothing wrong with a boy liking babies and pretty things. He'll probably grow up to be a great father and husband just because he's not so concerned about being a "manly man".
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 07
I think the color pink is becoming big with all boys I have a 10 yr. old and a 13 yr. old and both boys like the color pink. He is only 4 let him be what he wants to be it won't hurt him at all. My son at the age of 2 dressed up in a girls dress for Halloween and everyone said he looked so cute and my other son dressed up like a girl just last year at the age of 9 and had so much fun with it. My 13 yr. old just told me he wants to dress up like a hooker this yr. you are only a child once in a life let them enjoy !
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@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
17 Oct 07
See, that's what I'm thinking too...he's only a child once! I know pink itself is becoming popular with boys...I'm just not too sure about the dress part, at school at least. Thanks for the encouragement though!
17 Oct 07
I don't think thats healthy as a child to wear a feminine costume. The reason why its not healthy is beacause, your'e telling him its ok to be feminine even if youre a male on halloween. I wonder what his father thinks of this? Boys have to be boys and sometime parents need to guide them into being a boy.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
18 Oct 07
And why is it not ok to be feminine? That's exactly the narrow minded thinking that makes me angry. Unless his father is going to spend hours at the sewing machine making the costume and then more time consoling his disappointed son I guess he has no say in the matter. "Boys have to be boys"...if you can come up with a valid definition for what a 4 YEAR OLD boy has to be then maybe we can talk.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
18 Oct 07
The child is only 4. That's like dressing a little girl up in pink and giving her a doll to play with and telling her that's all she can play with, no boy toys.I have a 5 yr old that does love her pink, but still goes outside and plays with her little boy friend across the street. I don't see how role playing is going to do anything to the child. All in his head is that he's playing. For the color pink, so what it's his favorite color. I have two daughter's and one likes pink while the other likes black and red. I as a mom, honestly can't stand the color pink and tried my best not to have it in my home. Instead of boys being boys and girls being girls. What about kids being kids.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Exactly chertsy! Thanks!
@kevere26 (223)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Perhaps there's a happy medium such as letting him know that if he's going to be a princess he needs to be the prince too. After all, that's fair for both the princess and the prince. I'd advise sending him to preschool as the prince to avoid having the kids hurt his soul. When he goes trick or treating he'll be able to brag about being both!
@maddysmommy (16235)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I say let him be what he wants - I would rather see my kid happy than not happy wearing a costume he doesn't like. Ok so some of the kids might tease him - thats when mommy steps in and tells them off LOL or tell their parents LOL or you know what I mean.
@Debs_place (10525)
• United States
18 Oct 07
How about a gender neurtral pink costume...a pink eraser, a pink flamingo, a pink pig...make it a flying pig... This way he could get his pink fix and hopefully not have the other kids pick on him. Or maybe he could be a pink peep (marshmallow candy) and give out peeps to the other kids. Usually having fun food is a way to make friends at that age.