How do you handle a NEGATIVE friend?

friendships,friend,people,name calling,hurt,wonder - friendships,friend,people,name calling,hurt,wonder,questioning
United States
October 24, 2007 1:11am CST
I'm referring to a friend that never takes anything I say to heart. Or listens to any advice I try to give? Someone who is never happy for me and deep down inside hates me and has admitted it to me? She claims again and again that she is a true friend and declares she loves me? She has called me names that I care not to repeat only because I am in love with my boyfriend and I have haven't been a virgin since I was in my 20's. I really try to be a supportive friend because I know her life is difficult. Yet, mine isn't easy either. My boyfriend may have money and a good job but that doesn't make our lives all flowers and candy. She thinks I haven't fought for anything in my life yet I have what I have only because I clawed my way to get what I have in life. But I just don't carry on about it. You just do what you have to do. You know what I mean!!! I have fought with health problems and continue to do so every day but I don't bit*c*h about it. And according to my*friend*, this is the price I had to pay because I am not fat and ulgy. Like she thinks, God said,"choose, health or looks..." yeah, right! We have been friends for nearly 20 years. And I try to remember the good times and that helps. But I don't deserve to be hurt. My b/f hates the fact I get abused and wonders why I always forgive her and thinks it's only because she and I were friends when my mom was alive that I remain friends with her now. I don't know. I tried to talk to her today after not talking to her for a couple weeks. She had called me a name again. So I didn't answer her calls. Tonight, I heard it all again. I may be wrong because I want her to do something to change her life and not just be mad all the time. I know not everyone will change their lives but should I continue to let this person hurt me?
2 people like this
3 responses
@alamode (3073)
• United States
24 Oct 07
Back away... she isn't a friend, and she will damage your life, given enough time. I have just gone through all of this with my sister. After watching her abuse the entire family, I stepped back and am not seeing her. No fights, just no contact. She doesn't miss any of us... we've just proved to her friends what low-lifes we are!LOL! So life will go on... in a better way for all of us!
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 07
You are not wrong from first place. She didn't want to accept your advices at first place, I better stay out from her, since we had given her a negative.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jul 08
You are right. She never has wanted to listen to what I said. I've tried to help her in every way I could. A person can only try so much ....
@laurika (4536)
• United States
25 Oct 07
I think this is very sad situation and you shouldn't be around tha person for very long time.I think she is just jealous of you, what you have and she doesn't but she didn't realize you have problems in your life too, like you said not everything is great. But let me tell you something similar.I have friend who is kinda similar to yours.We have been very good friends since High school.We have fun and always support each other.But after she came to the college to bi city, it look like she is jealous of me and she almost didn't ask me, how I am oing, when we talk to each other.I am sad for that, becuase I remeber old times, when we were good friends, but I would rathoer not call with her those days so often, becuase it is just only taken my energy.So I understand you are forgive her all the time, but be carefull, becuase it could take all the energy from you, if she would treat you like this.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jul 08
So much the same! I have known her for years.... I will always love her but I can't make her love herself. I have to care about the family I have now. She doesn't understand that my life isn't easy. She never wanted me to have a life beyond what our childhood use to be. She thinks just because I've gone on with my life that I've left her behind and it's not true. I've tried to remain friends with her but my life now is the most important thing to me just as my friends are.... She is the only friend who has all these negative feelings towards me. It makes me wonder...