Your boyfriend/girlfriend are still communicating with her/his ex..

@zamm13 (363)
Philippines
October 27, 2007 6:30am CST
What will you do if you found out that your current boyfriend/girlfriend is still friends with his/her ex? Or maybe even worse, he/she now becomes the bestfriend of her/his ex. They talk a lot and sometimes hangout together. What steps are you going to take? Or do you consider yourself as a lover who is very trustful of her partner and who will not worry a thing? Do you consider this kind of situation a no biggie for you?
3 people like this
10 responses
@deserve40 (1642)
• India
27 Oct 07
I do not think that there is any thing wrong in that as long as it is being done in my presence or if it is not done at the back of me. This means that there is no malafied intention. Another thing is that if they were good friends and now again if they want to become good friends, who can stop them? I would like to find out why I am not considered to be a good friend in this situation. I have a clear idea that every one is free to have one's own ideas and opinions. Friendship is not feeling suspicious. But it is about giving freedom to your friend to do what every he or she wants to do it....
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Would it be okay with you if your lover hangout with his/her ex-girlfriend in a mall or in a park?
@deserve40 (1642)
• India
30 Oct 07
It is upto you, if you mean just taking or joking or being frank or friendly with ex-friend is not good then it may hurt you. Otherwise. they both are humans...there is no point to feel so much unsecured...
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Oct 07
My husband talks to one of his ex-gfs online, and it hasn't bothered me yet. She might come back to visit the area soon, and they'll probably hang out when she does. I don't feel particularly threatened. In fact, I don't see anything any of his exes could do to make me feel threatened. This sort of thing just isn't a big deal for me. If I didn't trust my husband, I wouldn't be with him.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
28 Oct 07
Yup, exactly! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! =)
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
I am elated to hear that you pretty much trust your husband. Well, maybe because your situation is a different one. I mean you're already married to him and you have a child. I guess that you went through a lot of learning experiences in your relationship and those made it stronger. I can remember that there were some ex-girlfriends of mine that I really trust so much. Because I don't know, some were really loyal, you'll know it when you're in a relationship. I was able to look them in the inside. I just don't the term for it, TRUST INSTINCT? Or maybe I just don't know that I'm talking about. Thanks for responding! See you around.
1 person likes this
@shak143 (1280)
• India
28 Oct 07
i dont think so it is wrong.that we have to cut over friendship with our ex friends.but we should not cross our limits.as now we are belongs to some other so we have to think about them also while talking wiht our ex friends.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
You're talking about moderation and control. Thank shak.
@slavezero (835)
• Philippines
28 Oct 07
With me and my partner, We dont tolerate communication with ex. my partner is a very jealous woman, and I dont want her to feel that so as much as possible I dont communicate with my ex, and if I did, I would tell her as soon as possible. She also dont communicate with her ex, and she tell me everything that I have to know, This way, we feel more secure with each other.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Compromise, as simple as that. Thanks..
@shadowing (309)
• Malaysia
28 Oct 07
Hi Zamm. Well, it has to depend on the exact situation. If I know that he and his ex is totally impossible to get back together, then maybe I am ok with that. However, to be frank, most of the time I will mad about this. I mean he has to know the limit for what should and shouldn't. If this happen on me, I will ask him to think himself, what if I am close with my ex and even hang out with them all the time. If he is ok with my movement, then I will be ok with his movement then. Haha.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Haha I like that one. You are very, very mischievous my friend. Just kidding. Thanks for your reply.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
27 Oct 07
I don't mind them talking at all. I just don't want him going over to she he's ex girlfriend all the time like my ex husband did. I had a good reason to suspect something and I was right.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Be vigilant and wary, I think that's your point. Thanks Shaun!
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
27 Oct 07
I totally depends on the person and the situation. My s/o still talks with one of his ex's because the have two children together. I wouldn't say they are "extrememly" close but they do disuss their personal lives to an extent. I wouldn't expect anything else. They are both parenting these children so I think it's important for them both to know what the other one is doing in life. I amthe samewith my ex. My ex and I were also friends for 11 years before we even started dating, together/marrid for a total of 5 years and have now known each other for 23 years. There is far too much time spent as friends to give up just beause we didn't work out as a married couple. Now I can think of a woman or two from my s/o's past that I would have an issue with but not becase I don't trust him, more becase I know what type of women they are and wouldn't trust them.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Again a different situation, mature people are involved. Situations between older people and teens are really different when it comes to relationships. It's so nice to know that you're lover can be trusted and you are a trusting person. We should really choose a lover that can be really trusted. I mean you're not included because you already found one. I am speaking to others including me hehehe. Very well said. Have a nice day.
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 07
This is just the same when I had my talk with my spouse about "leaving past behind", no more talk about past relationship. Should we talk about it, nope. I won't and I would be more appreciated if you don't start your past spouse topic. You will need to talk to your spouse, if he/she felt under this condition, it will do a serious harm in your current relationship. Why need to talk to his/her ex, while you are the one who is the trusted for now. Isn't an ex is the one had broken up, where broken up had started because of no more trust between each other? I think this make sense, and you may shoot this out to him/her, it's not wrong statement. Because I had this statement to my past spouse before broken up of this. At last my past spouse admitted that there is no love in our relationship since the beginning. I satisfied because we can decided this earlier rather than waited it until it's getting sour later.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Thanks for responding. I understand what you are trying to say.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
27 Oct 07
Wow thats a hard one there.I do not think i would like it one bit..First off why would he/she keep it a secret? What kind of relationship was it? did he/she sleep togeather?If they just went out a few times and found that they could only be friends and notheing else ,then maybe...but if they were like really goingtogeather and had a history,and was intimate then it would bother me.i would feel that they are still into each other,and i would make them choose between her and I...If a relationship is over and you find a new love then its time to move on.I see no reason to continue the old relationship.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
Good point slickcut. Thanks for responding. =)
• Australia
27 Oct 07
It depends on the person. My current partner used to talk to his ex all the time. It drove me nuts, because he had gotten back with her 4 times before he met me and she was still after him when he made it clear he didn't want to go back to her. He stopped now since I was pretty much going to leave him if he kept talking to her. He does talk to other ex girlfriends but I'm fine with them since I know there is nothing there.
@zamm13 (363)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
It depends on who is your boyfriend is? What is he like? Or depends on which ex-girlfriend of him he is talking to? Maybe I have trust some issues because I really don't want my lover to talk to one of her ex-lovers.