Helping a friend who's depressed

United States
October 30, 2007 1:23pm CST
Hello all, I've got a friend who's been really really depressed. I won't go into detail, but I want to ask, how can I help this friend. I'm in NY and she is in England, UK. So what kind of advice do you have for someone who's really depressed and can't think of anything else but ending it all and is scared to ask for help? This friend is a member of mine on my forum she's been talking to myself, my sister and a couple of other members in a locked forum (for privacy). Any advice would be appreciated
4 responses
• India
31 Oct 07
It is very sad to here. Depression if not taken care can lead to Sucidal Tendencies. You should not allow this to happen to your friend. I know there are plenty of reasons for one to get depressed. Now there are excellent Medicines( without Major side Effects)available to treat this completely. Ask your friend or take your friend immediately to a psycologist. Once the treatment is started I bet your friend will be totally alright within 3 to 4 months time and lead noraml life like others. Please dont ignore.
@glamgrl (384)
• Ireland
30 Oct 07
she needs to speak to a good doctor urgently is she on antidepressants yet?
• United States
31 Oct 07
Well that's the thing, she's too scared to go see a dr, plus she hasn't had the money or insurance to see one. She isn't on any antidepressants either. But like I said in my comment to the previous comment, we have encouraged her to seek help in some way. My sister is on my forum and she has asked her questions which she found in her psychology book. And we've found several links about depression and have had her read them. Also we've found phone numbers to hotlines.
@meholl (510)
• United States
30 Oct 07
Keep being a good friend, be supportive, listen. Be a shoulder to cry on from a distance. Be encouraging about what is still positive in life. Help her find positive things in life, such as your friendship. If you feel that there is a great possibility that your friend will take her life, ask if she would like you to get her some help. Sometimes when one won't ask for help themselves, they will let someone else help. Popular belief says that someone that talks about taking their life is only taking, and someone that is serious won't even talk about it and just do it. I believe that if someone is talking to their friends about taking their own life, they are looking for support, help in getting through the hard times. Does your friend have friends in her part of the world that will rally around her and give her support as well? I am not sure if this would help, but maybe sending your friend a gift with a card, something she can hold on to, that really shows you love and care for her. Let her know what an asset she is to your life and of those around her.
• United States
31 Oct 07
Thanks for the advice. This friend is really scared to talk to anyone on a phone or seek counseling, I believe she feels they will patronize her or be little her. She feels more comfortable talking to people on a forum like she has been on my forum in a private section where not everyone can have access to. She has stated that she's not close to any of her family and she hasn't mentioned anything about having a friend near by that she can go to talk to. She had 1 online friend who she talked to a lot which she said today she had a falling out with over the weekend. One of my members on my forum has offered to be there for her even if it's just to listen to her. Whether it be on the phone or over a messenger service. This member has been through some of the same situations. She is making the 1st step I believe to be writing down how she feels with us on my forum. Today I sent her an ecard letting her know that we are all here for her and we care for her. She is on no meds as of right now for this. But we are encouraging her to seek some help, whether it be by calling a hotline or a friend or something. Plus we're encouraging her in several other ways. I'm praying that she will improve.
@bbsr13 (4196)
• India
15 Nov 07
the following simple steps will help achieving peace of mind and overcoming depression. first of all you advice your friend to give up drinking if addicted. secondly,advice her to chant a mantra or sound which she loves and focus on the moment of chanting. this focuses the wandering mind on the chanting.also advice her to be conscious of the moment, to live each moment as it happens is the wise path and the only way to be truly awake. at the same time you may suggest to practice this using a sound like OM or JESUS.