are YOU too dependent on your child?

United States
November 18, 2007 9:14pm CST
I ask this and it may seem like a silly question to some. But i have been told this many times by my older sister as welll as my husband.. they say that i am too dependent on my 6 year old daughter... when they say this tey mean becuase i can never do anything unless it beneifts her... i didnt want to send her to school i wanted to homeschool her, when she is away all i think about is her and if shes having a good / bad day... i cry when she sleeps out even though its very rearely and its only at my mothers or sisters house..when she prefers to be with someone else i get heartbroken...etc etc... i dont think this is dependent on my daughter i think that it means im a very loving mother... what do you rhink? and how about you are you too dependnet on your child as well?
1 person likes this
13 responses
• Canada
19 Nov 07
I don't want you to take this the wrong way but by the sound of it you are a little over protective of your daughter. She should be the one to miss you so much she cries not the other way around. Now YES I think it means you are very loving and you are obviously a good mother but at the same time you need to have time for just you as well all us moms do. I have 2 kids and when they go to stay the night at my families homes I am ok with that as long as only one of them is gone. I can't sleep without kids in the house I have nightmares. SO I guess I can kinda see where your comin from but at the same time I think you might need to get out and start working part time or something while your daughter is in school that way it might take your mind off of it.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Nov 07
thank you for your response. I had all intentions on going out to get a job when she started school, but then became pregnant... in the next few weeks i will go from being alone while she is away to having two babies in the house..lol it will be a big change! thank you again and god bless
• Canada
19 Nov 07
Aww Congrats hun. Yes it is a very big adjustment. My daughter was born just before my son started school and at first it was hard. My daughter never wanted to sleep when she was little and I had to be up with my son during the day so I was definately sleep deprived LOL. My son was an awesome sleeper when he was a baby and is now as well so when my daughter was the complete opposite it was the hardest part of being a new mom. Congrats again hun and Good Luck Hugs
2 people like this
@aseretdd (13712)
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
Well, i think you are not too dependent on you child but you are somewhat like an over loving and over protective mother... but i don't blame you for being this way... with all the perverts and evil doers around... I myself am starting to become dependent on my daughter... and i dread the day when my baby would have to go to school and i will be left thinking how she is doing there... This is something that we as mothers should overcome... when they are babies they tend to depend on us all the time but as they grow older... they would want independence little by little...All we can do is accept the fact that our children will grow up someday...
• United States
19 Nov 07
yes i can accept the fact that "Someday" she will grow up, but she is only 6 so i want to "keep" her as close i possibly can for the time being... your right there are so many sicko's out there today its scary.. thank you for your response
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@jeanbug23 (567)
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
I think it's not right to overly protect our children. This is what I have done to my 6 year old daughter and I feel sad knowing she had been so dependent on me. Everything is given to her without being asked. Before she wants something, I already knew it so it is easily prepared right into her eyes. Now, I have problems regarding her behavior because she's been used to me and she doesn't know how to do things right without me.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 07
i have a 6 year old as well and some of the time i have that problem, bt not that she wont or cant do it herself its just something her father or others cant do it for her because she has gotten used to me doing it for her all the time.. and to me its not a big deal i have no problem doing so.. i love doing things for her.. thank you for your rsposne
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
Yea, it's not really a big deal. After all, they are just kids. Someday they will outgrow these things.
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@fyrechsr (293)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I feel you are a loving mother. I do not believe in the saying "over protective mom" How could you be overprotective? I am told constantly that I am just that, because I have never let my kids run the neighborhood or do as they please. Well Im sorry but I still have all of my kids and they are alive. I think I am just being a good mom. To say you shouldnt miss your child that much is ridiculous I think. You just keep loving your child the way you are. Don't ever stop.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 07
thank you so much for your kind words.. i agree there is no such thing as an overprotective mother just a kind loving careing mother... our children mean the world to us... what is so bad about that?? thank you so very much! take care and god bless
@subha12 (18462)
• India
19 Nov 07
I think you are right. you are just a mother who loves her child very much. its not that you are very much dependent on her. it is very natural emotion of a mother i think. I have also seen my mother something like these.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 07
thank you so very much! take care and god bless
1 person likes this
19 Nov 07
we are all depended on each other. but maybe you thought too much. like you and your husband,you baby needs her time and room,right? you should get out and get to know much more friends.don't worry,your baby would keep you in her heart.
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• United States
19 Nov 07
thank you and god bless
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@dayzz25 (552)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I think it sounds like your a very loving mother. I'm the same way...well my daughter doesn't spend the night with other people yet. She's only 11 months old. I love being with her and I'm sure it's going to break my heart when she chooses someone else over me. :( I think as mothers we feel the pain that our child feels. It just means you have a very strong bond with her. I don't see that there's anything wrong with that at all. My daughter was born 12 weeks early and spent the first 2 months in the NICU so maybe I will be a little protective of her but it's only because I care about her. When she was first born I wouldn't even let anyone hold her but her dad. I didn't get to spend much time holding her so I figured it would be just us two to hold her so she bonded with us not with other people. I think you sound like a great mother and it's good to hear that there are people like you in the world. Keep up the good work.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 07
thank you so very much! I would have done the same thing if my daughter was born that early. that must have been so heartbreaking i culdnt imagine what you had gone throuhg, but thank god she is healty and well now! god bless and take care!
1 person likes this
@azimsay (546)
• India
19 Nov 07
If our children will fifth years old ,children also helping with us.So its call we dependent our children.Because they also worried about us.Parents and children both of us are dependent.
@riyasam (16582)
• India
19 Nov 07
i would think you are a very loving mother.only mothers can understand other mothers not husbands.but i do not understand how your elder sister said so.and mothers tend too be little over-protective of their daughters.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Nov 07
no not like that
1 person likes this
• China
20 Nov 07
yes, I also have the same view with your relative. You are too dependent on your children, also you are a very loving mother. you loved your children so deeply. That is why you feel heartbroken when your children have a close relation with someone else.
@cthorn (20)
• United States
20 Nov 07
I am pretty much the same way, but I wouldn't call it being dependent on your child. I've been told that I'm selfish when it comes to my three year old son. When he was a baby I didn't like it when other people held him. I got upset about the way his grandma changed his diaper or held him. I think it is just being protective, and I figure that most mothers are this way. I wouldn't read to much into it, sounds to me like you are just a good mom.
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
19 Nov 07
I think you are just being a good mother. The fact is she is still very young and so that bond is going to be there. I understand how you feel. You should spend this time with her because they grow up so fast...trust me my son is a teenager now! I miss the days when he was a baby and younger...it was so nice. Never mind what other people have to say...she is your daughter!