Do Bi-Polar Disorder & Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome Run Hand-In-Hand?

Thanks for this very informative response--and all I can say is that, for all you have to deal with, you really do well! You sound, in several ways, like the friend to whom I'm referring, because he puts up these kinds of walls at times and shuts me out--often, when I'm not even expecting it. I mean that we can have a telephone conversation, and he's in an upbeat mood. Then (as with the latest episode), he will write me an e-mail and tell me that he's removing all traces of me from his life because I called him at the wrong time. He'll tell me that I'm doing a good job with something one minute and will then call my efforts worthless when he gets in one of his moods. I think that, in his case, it's more post-traumatic stress syndrome than bi-polar when it comes to symptoms, but I'm starting to wonder whether or not he's also bi-polar. I'm not too sure about the bi-polar, but he has certainly had enough really bad things happen to him in his life to make him want to put up walls when he feels himself becoming too close to somebody because he doesn't want to end up going through the pain of separation again. As for myself, I'm like Garth Brooks--to know the joy of the dance is well worth not avoiding the pain. If I knew ahead of time that Pat would die of A.I.D.S., I still wouldn't have missed those hugs from him, his wonderful, contagious laughter, preparing a spaghetti dinner for him, attending parties for writers, etc. If I knew that Brenda would end up dying after botched back surgery, I still wouldn't have missed going to parties at each others homes, driving around looking at Christmas lights gracing some of the most beautiful homes in Indianapolis, our long, gabby phone conversations, etc. just to avoid sitting here crying while I write these words. If I knew that Mike would drown, Roberto would be murdered, Nancy and Allen would both end up dying in their early thirties of neurological tumors, Joyce would be taken by a heart-attack in her forties and Danny by a massive stroke in his fifties--even knowing all of that, I wouldn't have missed those friendships for anything. If I knew that Julia would end up getting Alzheimer's before she had even turned 60, I still wouldn't have wanted to miss those years of knowing this bubbly lady who was always ready with hugs, did goofy things such as dressing up as a hooker to go to a Secret Pal Halloween party at church, and having a party where everybody dressed like hillbillies and ate hillbilly food in the barn that had been prepared by her and her husband, Harold, who passed away a few years ago (also a personal loss). If I had known that Mark would end up having all of the health problems (several of them potentially life-threatening) that he does today and that it could be very possible that I'll survive him by more than a few years, I would still make the same decision that I did back in the summer of 1975 to become friends with this beautiful guy! My friend is older than I am by several years, so it's likely that I'm going to have to go through a separation that neither of us chose one of these days (not TOO soon, I hope)--on the other hand (just as with those of my friends who experienced untimely deaths), I could end up being the one to leave. But I can tell him that--as far as separations go that I have control over--I'm not going anywhere! I want him to believe this so badly! He's never going to lose my friendship! I've had a few times in my life where a friendship has ended due to the other person shutting me out. If I knew what I do now back when I first became friends with these people, would I have become friends with them? All I can say is, as Garth Brooks said, "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance." I still have the memories of sitting on the floor of my apartment and gabbing on the phone about guys, funny things that happened to us, our life goals (hers being nursing and mine being teaching and writing), etc. with one friend who ended up hanging up on me, calling me names, and spreading lies about Mark and me. Those are good memories (the happy times, that is). I'm glad, in spite of how things turned out, that I had the chance to enjoy those good times. There are still so many happy memories to remember about the year, 1977, when I was head-over-heels in love with the most wonderful guy. His lies and rejection that fall hit me hard, and I'll always remember that pain, too. But I can still remember the feel of spring breeze on me as I sometimes just couldn't contain my joy and went dancing off into the night just from being happy that he was a part of my world. Those good feelings are what I choose to remember the most. Anyway, you take risks whenever you form a close bond with somebody. That's a given. I can deal with that. My friend deals with that, too--but in a less healthy way. He will put his life into compartments for one thing. If something goes traumatically-wrong in one compartment, he can always just walk away from it. For another thing, he does this shutting out business in anticipation of the end of a friendship. By doing this, he sets himself to miss out on something lasting. When he draws a circle to shut me out, I just draw a bigger circle to surround his circle and hope that he'll, once more, feel safe to leave his circle and let me hug him. I find a couple of your "symptoms" to be especially interesting ones, because I have them, too, at times. While I don't go on a wild-and-wacky spree and make a huge investment, I have been known to buy an outfit a couple of sizes too small--a kind of leap-of-faith. I haven't done this lately. What I have now are clothes in different sizes that once fit me. While I've given some of them away, there are still a few in each size that are waiting for me to fit into them again! I've also been known to pack a suitcase and take unplanned road-trips. Those are fun! Just knowing that I want to go somewhere but not yet making up my mind just where before leaving home. Think I'll save up my money and take one of those kinds of trips in a few months! In the meantime, I can take one-day trips like that. Off the subject a little bit, but one thing I love to do is to find little towns that have unusual names (or names that are meaningful in some way) and their own post offices. Then, I'll send postcards to people bearing those postmarks. Anyway, thanks for your helpful feedback, and I wish you the best with your challenges. You, as with the friend about whom I'm talking here, are always in my prayers and love. You're both wonderful blessings to me!

Wow ! You are going through a lot right now! I wish I would catch you on care2 IM. Plus you have been through a lot of deaths in your life time also. You may have a little PTS disorder yourself. That might be why you have packed and did some of the things you did too. Sweetie just hang in there you will have to be an Iron child on this one, don't give up on him. I am praying for you both! God Bless you and give you the words to say! Hugs and prayers in Jesus!

No, the reason that I pack and take off without knowing where I'm going is simply because it's fun. Most times, I know where I'm heading and even, in some cases, make the motel reservations. But there are just times when it's fun to play things by ear. That's one way to discover new places that might even be places I put on my must-return list. Actually, I do have PTS that makes me do the above stuff: Post Travel Sentimentality My folks and I loved to take road-trips from the time that I was little, so this kind of traveling around and seeing both new and familiar places is just a part of my life. I usually travel with a camera and take all kinds of pictures. Remember the story about the doll buggy full of cats and dolls where I would push it along the driveway and pretend that we were going on a big trip? Thanks for your prayers! Already, in my current situation, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel--and it isn't going to turn out to be a train (that is, unless I'm off the track and enjoying watching it go by--or having it stop and this sexy passenger from San Diego getting off with his two favorite stuffed dogs)!