I was not born to be a vessel for babies!!

Believe it or not, until about the age of 35 or 40 your body releases a hormone that tells your brain to make babies. In some women, this homone is stronger and they are probably the ones saying these things, but all women who have all the right equipment have it to some degree. This is why even women who should never have children still usually wind up having children. The urge is there.

THANK YOU!!! OMH! I don't have kids, never wanted to have any and society in general has made me feel like I'm less of a woman for it. It makes me mad enough to spit nails Cyn! I don't have to follow the general rule of the majority of women in this world to be considered a woman. Also, when I say I don't feel like I have any maternal feelings, I really get beat up! It irks me as well when people just "assume" I have children. They act all surprised and "oh" when I say I don't. I sort of take it offensively, why do people asuume that because your a woman and married that you have kids?? Bay Lay Gray xx

"I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in the world, but I was not born to be a machine. I am a woman and a wife and a mother in no particular order. I am not a container" *applauds* BRAVO that was said just perfectly! and I too get EXTREMELY ticked off when I hear/read etc someone making statements like that (a woman isnt a woman until giving birth)..Especially if its said to someone who unknown to the commenter is UNABLE to have children..I get so livid!! Yes I can and have had children...but being a mom, having kids IS NOT what makes me a woman..What makes me a woman is my character, my mind, my heart, my soul NOT whether or not I can have children... excellent topic cyntrow!

That was very well said, Cyn! I, too get so angry when it's implied that a woman isn't complete if she doesn't have children. I have one daughter and I lost a second one when she was 6 months old; she'd been born very prematurely and back then there wasn't nearly as much they could do for preemies. As it turned out I was unable to carry a baby fullterm due to what is call an "incompetent cervix" - even that term makes it sound as though I'm incompetent because I can't remain pregnant for a whole nine months! Anyway, because of that problem and the chances of losing another child if we were to try again my husband and I decided not to have anymore children. You wouldn't believe how many times I've been asked why I would ever choose to only have one child, didn't I know how unfair that was to my daughter? Or sometimes it was how she'd grow up to be so spoiled and selfish because of being an only child and never learning to share and always getting her own way and everything she wanted. UGH!!! Before we lost our baby we were already being told how we "had" to try one more time (at least) for a boy. I love my daughter with all my being and don't even let me get started about my grandkids because I'll bore you to tears but, like you, I'm a woman, a wife and a mother and gram among the other roles I play in this play called life. I wouldn't be a better woman or person if I'd had more children or a worse one if I'd had none. Thank you so much for putting it into words so well! I'm not a container either. Annie

Oh I agree that you are not a machine nor everyone of us. Its our choice if we want to have kids or not... though some who wants to have but cannot have even one. As woman, we are gifted by the capability to nurture a child in our body... its a right not an obligation... but once we accept the right to be a mother, we are also tied to the fact that we already have the obligation and responsibility. Being a mother and the fact that once the nest is empty we have nothing... please remember that you are also been a child to your mother. Every mother has to let go of the child once it is ready to stand on its own. Thats life and love. We do not have kids as an investment that we will have something for the rest of our life... As the kids love their parents in their own way, they will show love in their own way... it depends on how we love and raised our kids.

I agree with you.Yes,women are not a wessel for babies,and we need time to do things that we like.We can also have our career like men. Certainly I know that you love your baby very much:)They are your fourtune,and they love you, too. wish you a happy family

If a man could have a opportunity to have a baby like a woman, that would be fair. He would not beg a baby from the woman or a woman would have physical stronger than a man or a woman would be stronger as man. If the man wanted a baby, the woman turn the back to him, that would make so much pain, whom he would move and turn around to look for a baby with?

I agree. I never wanted children so I guess to some I am not a woman right? That's okay. At least I live in a country where I have the choice to have children or not.

Well I often say that my kids are my life and that is true I could not bear to think of what I would do if anything happened to either of them but I do have more going on in my life as well. My eldest niece, sister in law and one of my oldest friends do not want to have babies - ever - full stop. Don't get me wrong they like children are fantastic with mine but they just do not want to have their own - ever. I admire them for being honest and for not having children they really do not want - there are enough children out there who are damaged from having a lack of love and attention in their life or who have no family and grow up in care. It is shocking the kind of abuse that women get when they say they do not want children - some people act as though they are sub human or mentally ill because of it. I agree with you - having children is wonderful and fulfilling but not a prerequisite for women to have 'lived'. xxx

Very well said, cyn! It is funny how our society has double standards. We want to be equal to men and have the career and the lifestyle that goes along with all of that. Yet we also have to pop out babies and do all that goes along with that. That is a lot for any person to handle. Each woman should make her own decision about what is right for her and her spouse and their lifestyle. I remember when I was told that I most likely would not be able to have children (silly doctors didn't know what they were talking about since I now have two). I was devasteded and felt like I was a failure. It took a long time of examining my feelings to figure out why I felt that way. It is what society tells us to feel about not bringing a baby from our bodies into this world. There is so much more to parenting than carrying the baby.

I believe that it is a womens right to chose if she wants to have kids or not. I will say that the best days in my life was the day I had my kids but that is my choice. But then we also have to look at the other side of this issue where people have children and say they want them and cant take care of them. Then everyone gets to pay for that mother to sit at home doing nothing.