Inviting friends

@ElicBxn (60883)
United States
December 21, 2007 5:03am CST
I'm in something of a quandary. I have a friend who would probably like this site, someone that would probably earn me a few cents a month if I were to invite her. However, I also have used this site to discuss things I don't want her to read - because I have discussed her on it. I know her well enough to know that she will go thru EVERYONE of my discussions and grill me on them. She'd get all upset about some of them and could make my life uncomfortable. I HATE confrontations. I just stop going around people that cause them. I stay away from my brother for just this reason. She would also be asking me all kinds of questions, not willing to try and figure them out for herself. How do I know this? Because I went to the paypal page to get her to join & she hasn't done it yet - I think she's hoping I'll do it for her. I don't know her info well enough to do that, but I think that's what she wants me to do. I also know that if she finds this site she will know by my screen name that this is me. So, my friends, should I invite her myself or just hope she never finds mylot? If I do invite her, should I just tell her right up front that I'm not going to discuss what I've written, that I never intended to hurt her, and if she takes offense it maybe she's not all so perfect after all. What do you guys think? So far I've only one referral because I like the fact that I can discuss things here that I might not else where because I don't have to face you in person. Its that old introverted bug-a-boo coming out to bite me - again. I know some of you have been lucky enough to actually meet, or know, some of the others on the site, but hopefully they aren't as touchy about things as this friend is. Please let me know what you think....
4 people like this
7 responses
@CEN7777 (858)
• India
21 Dec 07
Hi ElicBxn, There is nothing wrong in inviting her on mylot. But I think It would have been much better, if you have sit with her and done all fromalities of my lot and paypal for her. Very few friends are like her who are so close to some body., in fact you are very lucky for having such friend. i think If you talk to her she will realise the fact or let the time to go she will be able to understand you much better. But real issue will resove only when youmeetand explain her personaly.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
21 Dec 07
Years ago I would've invited her in a minute, but she's gotten so - prickly - in the last few years, since she's become so disabled, that I don't like dealing with her. The upshot is that she is my client as well as my friend with Girling. I hate to have to leave this job just because of mylot (for one thing, it pays better....) I also hate to have to get a "real" job that means I can't do things with my mom like I can with this one.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (49059)
• United States
22 Dec 07
Client too? Oh no!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Dec 07
If she is a client, too, definitely don't invite her! That is just asking for trouble.
• United States
22 Dec 07
I would not invite her. Sometimes we need something that is only ours and not our friends. If she has not finished with Paypal then she may not even continue with the discussions on mylot. You might join Yowie and invite her there. Then you can check in every so often and talk about something that does not hurt her feelings.
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
22 Dec 07
That's an idea. I doubt she's got the ablity to sit up long enough to spend much time surfing a site, but I think she would if she found out how much I talk about her here!
@AmbiePam (49059)
• United States
22 Dec 07
That sounds very familiar. I don't have any referrals, and the people I can think of to invite, like my sister, I don't want to read my discussions. So I just forget about it. I have friends who I would like to be on mylot, but with their lives, they wouldn't have time, and it isn't their kind of thing. So I'll just wait for more people in my life to come along. I'm not going to risk a friend or sister reading something I would rather not be broadcast across the world. : )
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
22 Dec 07
I wouldn't mind my sister, but I can see why other people might. I am so glad that others feel the way I do about this, now I don't have to feel guilty about not inviting her.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
21 Dec 07
I do not think i would want to invite a friend like this..first off you will be biting your tongue trying not to offend her,its like you would feel like you would not be able to be yourself...I don't want to invite friends that i know will be questioning all that i say or do.If she knows it is you ,then it would be hard to make her your friend here,because of all the sbove reasons..
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
21 Dec 07
I am glad so many of you agree that I shouldn’t invite her. I have been feeling that it would be the wrong thing to do. I think you are right about feeling inhibited about what I write & couldn't comfortably be her friend here.
@blackbriar (9080)
• United States
21 Dec 07
Go with your gut instinct, my friend. That's one thing I've learned to listen to, otherwise I end up getting myself in trouble. I do that well enough as it is. I could of had a few referrals under me but chose not to for the very same reason you are hesitating about. Just avoid an obvious future confrontation and not invite her. If she stumbles upon mylot like I did and says something about it, then you tell her about not discussing what you have written and be firm about it.
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
21 Dec 07
I am glad so many of you agree that I shouldn’t invite her. I have been feeling that it would be the wrong thing to do. Thanks for the advice if she should find mylot. I doubt she will, she's not one to go cruising the internet.
@blueunicorn (2409)
• United States
21 Dec 07
I wouldn't invite your friend here. It seems like you have used myLot as something for you to be able to be honest at, and I just think it would be a big can of worms to invite your friend. I have to be honest, at this point my only referals would be other people I meet that I don't really share my daily life with. The reason for that is that myLot has become a place I can share some things that I may not otherwise share with people. It's nice to have something that is "mine" that I don't have to worry about what I am saying and people finding out about it.
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
21 Dec 07
I think you have hit the nail on the head. I do talk about mylot, but have avoided invites because of this. My roomie is too wrapped up in her groups to be interested, I just forward or copy things to her sometimes.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
30 Dec 07
Well, your choices are either don't invite her and give up the referral or invite her and let her read whatever it is you wrote. I write about alot of stuff on here to do with family and friends and when it came to inviting ppl I had the same problem. I took the bull by the horns told them they could join if they wanted to, sent them a referral and then told them though that I discuss alot of things on here so if they don't want the truth or don't their feelings hurt they shouldn't read my posts. It's worked out fine. One referral is a friend that I discuss alot and the other is my youngest brother who loves to share everything with my whole family so there you go. It's up to you what you want to do. I usually find honesty's the best policy. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~