shes home

Well, I don't have children, but I thought of something that might be helpful. What if your husband has a big discussion with his daughter, somewhere not at home, where they can be alone without interruptions, so that he can explain it to her, so that maybe she doesn't fly off the handle when her grandmother tells her what to do. Make sure that he has some good rule to go by too. Something like, she doesn't have to listen to grammy, unless.... or, something along those guidelines. Like I said, I don't have kids and have never been in any kind of situation remotely similar to this, but it's the first thing that I thought of when I read your post!