Self-image and friendship

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I try to create a me that I can love and respect all the time. When I come face to face with myself as I really am, I shatter in tears. One little negative thought takes me to the valley of gloom and doom. Why am I not stronger in belief in myself? I know I'm a child of God and God doesn't make junk. I know I have friends and there's the rub. The tears this morning are because I don't feel the friendliness between one friend and me as we shared in the past. Between the two of us, our relationship has dwindled down to seeing each other at church. I've just had a breakthrough. I can reach out. I don't have to wait for her to call or email me. I don't have to allow distance between friends let me decide I'm unworthy as a human being. I have a choice. I choose to continue pretending to love and respect myself until it becomes real. Thank you for letting me share.