Do You Have Controlling In-Laws?

My in-laws do try to be controlling, but my husband has learned to put them in their place when they try to go too far. He has only learned this through experience and by his wife being really upset when they come before me on a big decision! LOL I, too, would have told her where to put her list of baby names. That's just crazy. I think some parents try very hard, though, to be supportive without being controlling. My parents do an awesome job of that, I think. Not all in-laws are terrible!

LOL...I'm sure if you've seen any of my discussions you already know how 'well' I get along with my in-laws. We do things by their rules, watch what they want on tv, go to bed when they decide it's time to, discipline the kids their way...all because they think they have the right to control us while under their roof and s/o won't stand up to them or make a plan to get out...it's really making things bad between us and I will leave on my own if it comes to that. And that's just the MIL problems...I'd get into the FIL problems but she just got home...ugh.

The situation you describe is deplorable. I could not live like this. Some people cannot stand to give up control of everything around them. By giving each child a house, this woman keep her children under her thumb, in a way. That is no way to live. I agree with your sentiments.

Wow she was very controlling wasn't she?!? I have a very nice mother in law that keeps out of our business. My father in law says a few things here and there but I just nod and smile and basically ignore his comments and do what I have to do. My son is my son not his so whatever my hubby and I decide what is best for him is they way we go when it comes to dealing with inlaws. I know they mean well so I accept what they have to say and just leave it at that.

Wow. Your brother in law can't cut them apron strings, huh? Your sister doesn't have much of a back bone either. So sad. I can see how your feelings came to be. I couldn't stand that either and in no way shape or form would I put up with that. Oh heck no! My inlaws are mean mean mean that I don't have anything to do with them. My husband supports my decision and is very upset at them all. He's totally on my side and now that his mom was just dianoised with advanced stages of dementia and is in a nursing home for rehab because she fell and broke her hip, my husband will only go to see her and not go to his sisters because he's angry with her for saying that I'm not allowed to go to her house to visit because their step father and their mother live there now. She claims she didn't say that but hubby said she said it in a round about way. I don't care. She should'nt have said anything at all. We were friends and she was the only one that I'd associate myself with out of hubby's 4 sibilings and now I don't have anything to do with ANY of them. Hubby supports me 100% because I've done nothing and said nothing wrong. I'm very very lucky to have him beside me. He's a good man and I love him so very much.

haha, i just answered a post called about "what do you consider the biggest invasion of privacy?" my answer was my mother in law :) She drives me crazy...she breaks into our house, gets our mail, goes through our stuff (she stole my lamp once, but I didn't say anything about it because the lamp had a habit of shocking you when you plugged it in, lol...man i'm terrible)...she tries to have complete control over everything...she called my insurance agent once because i accidently told her I had to get a form in for my hubby to be on the policy while she was at our house & i was sorting through mail. she wanted my hubby to give her power of attorney once, which is REALLY ridiculous. i am lucky though, my husband knows she pyscho so handles a lot of it for me...I have heard cases where a guy can't stand up to his own parents and that is terrible. I would imagine most people are not that bad...and of course before you marry someone you're going to have a good idea if there's going to be issues or not...my husband waited almost a year before he let me meet his mother, lol...he always did strange things I couldn't understand before but now i get the picture :)

man oh man i had such a horrible time with my inlaws. unfortunately thanks to them my fiance and i have just split. they said and did the most horrible things to me and the worst part about it is that he always took their side! i never asked him to choose, im not like that, i just asked that he defend me as his soon to be wife. if they didnt like me fine, but i expected him to let them know i was who he chose and they needed to respect that decision and respect me. nope! never happened! his mother finally got her way about 3 months ago. the sad thing is that we love eachother but his family has forbidden him to have anything else to do with me and if he does then they'll take anything they bought from him, and his dad even said he'll beat him up! the family is nuts! im glad to be out from under that but loosing our relationship is still hard. i wish you the best of luck with the inlaws. hopefully you will luck out and they will be wonderful!

WOw, these people are amazing. When I divorced my ex I wished that he had been more like his parents. They were great in-laws. Not perfect, but great. When they came to visit, they ate a lot and cooked a lot. They were upset because I did not have gallons of oil to deep fry things but they did not hesitate to go out and buy what they wanted so they could eat what they wanted. My current MIL is a wonderful lady, when I get to be her age, I hope I am as cool as she is. She is open minded and tolerant, she is active and happy, she worries a lot, but that is ok. Don't lump all in-laws together - they aren't the same. Ok..a joke now-- what is the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted!

Rozie, there's hope, there really is! I've been blessed with wonderful in-laws and I'm so relieved and grateful mu daughter has been too! Of course, there are always one or two that get on your nerves now and then, especially if you marry into a large family, but my husbands family has always treated me wonderfully. I guess it's always a roll of the dice when we choose someone to marry if they have the good fortune of having family members still living; you could get the in-laws from he11, like the one you mentioned who was controlling and "mean" or you can hit the jackpot and have loving and supportive in-laws that are there for you when needed but know when to "mind their own business" - or, for most, it's probably somewhere in between. Just think of that old saying, "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives" and modify it a bit to "You can pick you spouse but you can't pick their relatives" or you can choose NOT to pick a spouse because of his relatives, which could be a tough choice at times I'm sure. Annie Annie

My inlaws are fine, because very early on I made sure that they knew that I would not be doing things thier way, and I told them that trying to make me do them thier way would result in not getting to come to my house or take my children to thiers, you just have to put your foot down.

haha, i just answered a post called about "what do you consider the biggest invasion of privacy?" my answer was my mother in law :) She drives me crazy...she breaks into our house, gets our mail, goes through our stuff (she stole my lamp once, but I didn't say anything about it because the lamp had a habit of shocking you when you plugged it in, lol...man i'm terrible)...she tries to have complete control over everything...she called my insurance agent once because i accidently told her I had to get a form in for my hubby to be on the policy while she was at our house & i was sorting through mail. she wanted my hubby to give her power of attorney once, which is REALLY ridiculous. i am lucky though, my husband knows she pyscho so handles a lot of it for me...I have heard cases where a guy can't stand up to his own parents and that is terrible. I would imagine most people are not that bad...and of course before you marry someone you're going to have a good idea if there's going to be issues or not...my husband waited almost a year before he let me meet his mother, lol...he always did strange things I couldn't understand before but now i get the picture :)