best way to help my friend?
January 11, 2008 10:39pm CST
My friend is sad because this woman does not like him back, even though they never did have a love affair, he is still sad. Now he only complains and moans about it. I told him he needs to understand that she does not feel the same, and to be more of a man about this situation (he is not so young either). That if she does not love him or care so much, then he should find a more lovable, caring woman. but now he is annoyed with me. Not sure what else to say, just listen more to him maybe..
13 Jan 08
Hi,there,cliff, I am sorry to hear that....... I have already think of this discussion for a while I am not sure whether my response will work or not .This is just what I think. If I were u I will have a chat with that woman and try to know what she is really think of.even though ur friend loves her so much of course this woman has her own attraction,have a friendly chat with her sometimes the things do not gose to the way u think of ,maybe she has her own reasons for doing that to ur friend... And tell her ur friend's love to her, and the meaning to maintain this relationship to ur friend. If this woman don't move and still hold on her ground and tell u that she don't love ur friend any more.then at this time I think u can give up and tell ur friend directly that this woman do not worth him doing that and find another woaman who siut him and love him.It is worthless to waste time on the person who do not love him...... Remember no matter at what occasions we are in "never lose our own dignity" Take care and all the best.... Molly........;-)
• United States
13 Jan 08
hi Molly, thanks for responding. It is funny because last week I said to my friend that maybe I should talk to her myself and just tell her "My friend enjoys your company and would like the chance to know you better and he is not wanting more for now". However, my friend said "No,No!! it should be another woman to speak to her, not you." But also my friend speaks this woman many times a week because they need to be at the same place, same time often. But she is only nice to him, but does not want to know him personally, for example go to lunch or dinner or shopping with him. Really she does not try to know him, that is her feelings. So she is not interested in friendship with him, but she wants to be friendly towards him at their moments when they are together. The problem is I am trying to explain this to my friend and he will get angry at me... and he wont stop having attraction for her, and he will not stop complaining about this for hours when we are together (a usual problem) because he sees her at this same place all the time. I do not know this lady, and my friend will not introduce me, but that is okay, i can introduce myself if need be. This is a disaster, when you love somebody, even from a distance, and they will not pay any atention. But then it is even worse when they are your friend and they do not love you back either. This could possibly last a long time for no purpose. It is just time for him to move along to search for another so he can know the difference between when someone really cares, and when they do not. We humans can suffer from this more than once in our life... and as you said it is important to learn to cope with our feelings with "dignity". Like we say here, that sometimes you have to "roll with the punches"...! Well we will see what happens and let you know, thank you so much for your sincere thoughts on this ;) -Cliff
• United States
14 Jan 08
thanks Molly my kind hearted friend!... i wish the best for him, however we should be happy for what we do have and not be sad for what we cannot have. Life is not worth wasting on sad feelings too much, better to think about sharing good vibrations with someone else. (I hope you are well and thinking of a good recipe to cook for me...hehe) -Cliff