Cleaning thier rooms....

"But of course I am starting to think him keeping his room clean is really just his OCD disorder and the need to have everything in its place" OH thats very very possible....As for your daughter..why not make a game out of it with her...Show or better yet tell her what needs to be done and see how fast she can do it OR if you also have a room to clean (for example the living room)...make it a race BUT let her know that just shoving things under the bed or in the closet is cheating and against the Clean Room Race rules...something along those lines anyway...Thats what I use to do with my kids...

Oh lordy, lordy...I am with you in this struggle. My daughter just turned 5 New Years' Eve and I have been trying to get her to clean her room for I don't know how long. Her excuses are: "I am too tired", "I am still playing with that", and, like yours, "There's too much. Can you help me?". This past week I finally finished my project of making sure everything has a place to go. I put shelves in the playroom and playroom closet and put the wire cubes that you can connect together in both of my girls rooms. I think the key to it is just staying on her everyday about cleaning up as she is done. I have found that most of the blame lays with me. We get busy and I get slack in staying on her to do it. I honestly think she is too young to do it on her own, but with encouragement can be taught to do it. Her preschool teacher last year and this year both told me that she is a born leader and delegator, which may be part of her problem. Hopefully it can be fixed...hehe. If not, maybe she will be president one day. I have heard a lot of people rave about using chore boards. I have one, but again, we get busy and I get slack about sticking to it. Gonna put that on my list of things to keep up with.

Ok the two excuses you say your daughter gives are easy to fix. First of all go in her room by your self and declutter. Get rid of at least a quarter of what is in there that will help her "theres too much" excuse. Once you have done that help her and teach her how to clean her room. Your daughter is 4 and may not really know what you mean when you say clean your room. Teach her that every thing needs a place make a game out of finding those places. Teach her what a reasonable place is not just well I want this toy on the floor right here.

I think your daughter is cleverer than her brother. she just wants to ignore cleaning her room. Its also the case taht all children are not same. So just give her time. May be she catch up with this habit.

my kids hate cleaning their rooms...i have bought a lot of baskets for the toys and thats where they belong, also one toy comes out and one gets put away...also, make it a game...we have a 5 minute tidy (like big comfy couch idea) and that sometimes help.

My daughter is 7 and she still does not clean very well by herself. She fights and asks if I will help her. Which I sometimes do, just because it goes faster.Our 11 year old is pretty good but she is a stuffer, she stuffs things under beds and behind drawers and in her closet. We cleaned after xmas and there was a wet towel in there from a while ago....yuck! But they all go at a different rate I think. My 7 year old likes to organize things so I get her to do that while she is cleaning and playing a really good dance CD helps her too. Oh I think 4 is too young to do it on there own...there attention span just isn't the best...tell exactly what to do. Like Pick up the barbies and put them here helped my daughter as well. Good luck

I'm sure you got a lot of good advice and I haven't read all the responses, but I'll throw in my comments just in case they'll help. My oldest son learned very early (like 2) that he was not allowed to play with a toy until he put his last toy away. He learned to pick up after himself as he went. Now, at 24, he's not so tidy... It pretty much broke down when he was in his teens. I decided that a clean room was not a big deal to me, there were MUCH more important battles to deal with. My youngest learned the same thing early, but wasn't as good with it. He turned out to be my neat freak. His room would be a mess, for a while, but he'd clean it spotless every so often. When they're young, if you want them to do something you have to keep on them about it. If your daughter is not putting her stuff away, as you see it, have her clean it up. If she says it's too much, mark off a portion that she should do. Once she has that done, reward her and in a while, do another portion. I found it best to stay on top of them and as they went to get another toy, tell them to put the last one away. It's a lot of work and they get frustrated with you, but after a while they realize that if they put the stuff away you'll be quiet. Then, you need to remember, they're expressing themselves. It's their individuality and that's important too. Maybe try a compromise. She can keep her room like she has it, she just looses a half hour of TV time... Best of luck to you!

My son has been known to do the same. He is three and has been cleaning up after himself for awhile. he never used to struggle too much with me about it, until recently, and now he lays on the floor, and acts like he can't even move his arms, let alone clean his room. FOr times like these, I set the timer, if the room is a disaster, I pick a certain toy group, I say, Son, you must have all of your puzzles picked up in 5 minutes (depending on how long i think it will take) if you do not, you will get a time out, I then set the timer, and go sit on the couch, or distract myself somehow so I don't go in there and nag him. when the timer goes off, I go inthere, if he hasn't cleaned it, he gets a time out. We then start it over again, Okay you have five minutes agian, we'll do this all day, and he's begun to realize, that I don't care if that means we are late, or that he's spent half the day in time out. (I have found it best to do it when you don't have any plans, b/c they may in fact try and drag it out all day, also if time outs are not affective for you, you'll need to find something else, taking away privelages? or if he doesn't clean up that toy group in the time alloted, they get taken away for a few days or a week until he can earn them back by complying.. ) He's really turned around just b/c the hassle of going to time out every five minutes, and missing his show and not being able to do what he wants. Also, that day, if I had planned on giving the boys candy or a treat, he misses out, he whines about it, and I remind him, that he did not obey me when I told him to clean up his toys, so he will not recieve any treats that day. Good Luck to you!

Hi speedy1279, All kids are different. When your daughter tells you that she doesn't know what to clean she is more than likely being honest and doesn't know where to start. Try helping her to clean her room, work along beside her, and explain the why, what, where along the way. Making it a game will more than likely get her interested and then reward her when it's done. You will both be happier. You're not asking too much for her age. It's always better to teach them when they are young to get them in the habit of cleaning their room when they are older. I started teaching my children to clean their rooms when they were old enough to walk and they were cleaning their own rooms on their own by the time they were 3. They still needed guidance at that age and a little help now and then. Just make it fun for her and yourself. Hope this helps.

It seems like your daughter really likes to play, so turn cleaning her room into a game of some sort, and just don't ask her to clean her room, help her do it. Children learn best from role models and parents are their children's role models. So, when instead of telling her to clean her room, go in and say ok, it's time to clean your room. Tell her to start picking up one thing and say that you're going to pick something else up and help her get started. If that doesn't work, set a timer up and 'race' with her. See which one of you can clean the most things off the floor before time runs out.

Maybe you should instead of giving her a blanket clean your room, say I want all of your dolls picked up from the floor and put in the proper place. When she does that, sit down with her, give her a small reward, then go on to a next small task. A room can be scary to a 4 year old, maybe she needs more guidance, a simple task, pick up your dirty clothes, hang up your jacket, put away your puzzles. After she masters each task separately give her 2 tasks, hang up your jacket and put away your clean clothes. And DO NOT compare her to a sibling, it is the best way to get kids to hate each other. My son still does not..and he is in the Navy.

My son cleans his room now, but only if i help him and show him what i want him to do first. Hes only 20 months old though, so i don't expect much at that age. I don't think your daughter is too young to put her toys away. You could always put a few away for her and tell her to put the rest away if she won't do it herself before that. Or make it into a game and give her a treat if she tidys it all up. ~Joeys wife

If she is responding with I don't know what to clean get in there beside her and show her what to do the first time. After that if she doesn't want to do it start to take certain privledges that she likes away such as TV or lollies. She'll get tired of not doing what she likes all the time or having treats and might start doing what she is told. My son is nearly 3 and I've tried this method on him and it works most times.

i had the same problem and i found a couple of things that worked for me we made a chart with the day of the week like they have in school and she would get gold stars it she was good for most of the day if she got 5 stars we would go to mcdonalds i also made a game about picking up her toys usually throw the stuffed animals in the bucket or see if you can pick up more that mommy and it worked very well for me.

I had the same problem, but I told the kids the next time there were toys left lying all over the floor, I was going to throw them out. Well, I picked everything off the floor, and hid the stuff in the trunk of my car, and they really thought I threw the stuff out. I left them thinking that for a day or so, but, they've learned.

Let her do it when she wants. When i was young my room was always messy. When ever my parents would tell me to clean it i would do the oppisite. Let her choose when she does it rather than pressuring her to do it. Soon she will do it if you dotn talk about it for a while.