My son bites to show affection!
January 25, 2008 4:18am CST
I'm very happy that my son seems to prefer me over other people. We just had a "bonding session" this afternoon. I was feeling sleepy so I lay on the living room sofa while Ethan lay on top of me. It was that way for over an hour. When he thought that I was already sleeping, he was just content to put his his head on my chest. So sweet! However, when he knew I was awake, he proceeded to shower with his brand of affection -- wet kisses on my cheeks...and BITES! Yikes! He already has a full set of teeth an his bites HURT and leave marks! I have 2 marks now -- one on my cheek and another on my tummy (he bit through my shirt). I know he only does it to people he loves, but I really wish he won't do that. Any suggestions to get him to stop?
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 08
How old is your son? It sounds like he is getting over excited when he bites and needs to be told gently and calmly the word 'no'. He should be praised by saying something like 'good boy' when he is just being affectionate. If every time he bites the cuddling stops and he is told 'no' he is likely to realize that it is not acceptable behavior. I am a primary school teacher and a parent. I once worked in a nursery class of 3 and 4 year olds. One little girl bit ankles and she was considered a special needs case. Staff were wary of going near her and the other young children were afraid of her. So good luck stopping your son biting. Try to give him rewards when he is good and the word 'no' when he doesn't something bad.
26 Jan 08
My son is 28 months old. He only does it to me and his nanny. He doesn't do it to his dad, his grandma, or his uncles (we're a traditional Asian family and live together in the same house). Thank you for your suggestion. I guess I will have to let him realize that it's not right to bite me.
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 08
Yes, some children of between 2 and 3 years old do bite when playing. I hope that you manage to stop your son doing this. It is lovely that you live with so many of your family members. I have an 8 month old son and my youngest niece is 18 months old. It is wonderful to be a parent of a young child. Rewarding good behavior makes a nice childhood.
• United States
14 Feb 08
This needs to be stopped right away. You have to teach your child that it is not apropriate behavior, and there is no way to "rationalize" things with a 2 year old. When he bites, curtail any attention/affection you were giving him. If that means standing up and sitting him on the floor and walking away after telling him "no", than that is what it will have to be. If you make a fuss over him when he bites, he is going to learn that biting is how he gets attention, just like some kids have tantrums or actually try to do things to get in trouble just to get mom or dad's attention. I also think that the "wet kisses" are going to have to stop. It is not cute past the age of 2 (if its cute at all). Because you say its "his brand of affection" - it seems that you are permitting this and you are aware that he kisses then bites and you are not raising a vampire. Wet kisses are okay from a gurgling, drooley baby but when kids go from babies to little boys, its not accidental and you need to teach him that its not acceptable. And he is testing his limits in many ways. You and the babysitter should not take this, and if he is always doing it when you are sleeping with him close - don't do that anymore. For naps, he goes in his bed and he lost his privelege.
• United States
4 Jan 13
I'm a very happy person as well and I have a 6yr old granddaughter who bites me out of love...doctors do not fully understand that children no matter how old they are end up creating a habit out of love meaning they will show one way to one person and another way to someone else. .. My granddaughter will tell me I Love you so much...but she surpeises me when i least exapect..i can't tell you how many brusies and torn or bitten holes in my clothes from her affection towards me..All i have been able to do is research this kind of behavior, and if you do the same you will find there is very little information out there for this type of affection a child gives their favorite person...It's a known fact children will carry this type of response up to adult hood and then it is call abuse, but in fact it is only Love...We need to have clinicals and doctors and more researches out there to help develope a way to teach us how to brake this habit with out the child thinking we don't love them because we do not except the actions from them...to try and retrain them and show them there are other way's to show love...biting is not just out of bad behavior...and is not for children up to 2-3 yrs old...this action can stay with a child until adult hood...i've been told this behavior can cause deaths to the person they love most...I believe if we can help make them understand their actions to loyalty and love can be less harmful..